In honor of John Castle our beloved Word Forge member, I've decided to take up the mantle of writer. Have I written any fiction, no. Have I written anything non-fiction, yes. My label as a historian is still technachly true, but I do this to honor my friend. Until his inevitable return, I will call myself a writer. Some may say terrible writer (TM) I don't care because that person is on my ignore list. Yet still, I'm a published writer, @garamet can confirm this. So, from now until Castle's return, I will refer to myself as a writer.
I've written on the history of the Old West, and especially the endangered tortoises that became a political issue because of ranching. **** Back in the old West a lot of the toughest codgers tried tortoise ranching, but it died out because it took years to drive the herds up to Kansas City or Chicago. On a good day they might cover a mile and a half, but most days they could only drive them about a mile because a herd has to graze. There was no use bringing skinny turtles to market. In frontier towns along the drive it was a always big week when the boys brought a herd through, and people would grab their kids out of the streets in case there was a stampede as the torts got a whiff of the salad bar at the Golden Corral and Saloon. A lot of people don’t realize it, but Westerners learned to say little and talk slowly so they didn’t run out of things to say during the big tortoise drives. Now that’s part of our Western culture. But then came the barbed wire fences, and the last of the free-grazing tortoise drives stopped because the tortoises didn’t give a s**t about the barbed wire, but the cowboys would have to carry their beer coolers and lawn chairs the long way round and try to catch back up to the stock, and that was just too much work for the world’s laziest f**king ranchers. The only ones left are the ones who run mixed herds of cattle and tortoises, like Cliven Bundy’s family. If the BLM wins, an historic and traditional American way of life will come to a final, bitter end, and this nation will close a fascinating chapter of its history.
It's like you didn't read all of gturner's post. Or you read it, but didn't understand it. Because clearly, Bundy did ring a bell, that was the punch line!
