Dear pretty much every woman at my work when we talk face to face...

I want to make this perfectly clear.

I'm not looking at your boobs.

I'm looking you dead in the eye the whole time we're discussing what ever we're discussing. I know this because I'm excruciatingly conscious of it. The only reason I know that your cleavage is showing is because my unfortunately average peripheral vision, and the fact that you keep adjusting your clothing to cover it up as if I'm making you uncomfortable. Well guess what. You're making me uncomfortable.

Maybe they are fiddling with their clothes to try to get you to look. You strike me as someone who doesn't realize when someone is trying super hard to flirt with you. If you're genuinely uncomfortable, try talking about your wife more, imo.

Go to HR and file a sexual harassment complaint.

Being at one company for so long has produced an odd mix of ways I act around female coworkers. The ones that I've known as long as I've been there, since the 1980s or 90s, don't mind "office flirting" and wise cracks and compliments*. Then there's a 'middle' group that joined up during the time when office harassment was a major subject and we had training on what not to do - I just nod hello carefully in the hall and keep it businesslike. But now there are a some young 20-something women around who are flirty and friendly and will actually give me an occasional spontaneous hug**. I'm confused.

*The crazy thing is, one of them was the VP of HR!
**Yeah, no doubt because I remind them of their grandpa.

Well, having re-read my OP, I realize I wasn't exactly clear. What I'm complaining about is that the women here act (or react) as if I'm staring straight down their blouse the whole time we're talking, but I swear I'm not! When I first noticed them occasionally almost unconsciously covering their cleavage when ever I'm talking to them, I thought I must have done something to make them feel uncomfortable. Was I oogling their boobies? I don't remember oogling their boobies. I don't remember glancing, or glimpsing or in any way looking directly at them...but I must be doing something...right? So a while back I started going through a mental exercise before having any meetings. "Okay Shoes...eyes up front. Don't look at her boobs. Don't look at her boobs. Look her in the eyes. Don't look at her boobs. Ready...Break!" Then after the meeting I review how I did, and I always do great. Even when they occasionally bend over right in front of me to adjust their ankles or what ever, I start looking around at their office decorations or something....but they still nervously cover those puppies up at least once or twice during the meeting.

Maybe I just come across as a creep or something.

My take on that has always been that if you're going to wear something cut low enough that I can see 'em, I'm gonna look at 'em.

It's the rifle.

Also, I blame Bob Packwood.

"Those f**kin' hoo-ers!"

Heighten your voice, swish your wrist, and say "girlfriend", a lot.
That'll put her at ease.
And keep you out of prison.

In the "everything is offensive" world of today, that makes you a rampant sexist.

It doesn't matter what your eyes do or your actions, they know what's in your heart.

Pig.

Dear pretty much every woman at my work when we talk face to face...… runs away screaming in abject terror....

Speaking...

Or maybe you're focusing so hard on not looking at their boobies that your stare is a little intense. Obviously I don't know you on a deep level, but I've seen pictures of you and seen the way you articulate yourself in writing and I've never gotten even a hint of a creeper vibe off you, fwiw.

@Man Afraid of his Shoes it's OK, just remember to blink and breathe normally. Smile occasionally but not too much. You'll get through this.

He’s always given me a Tom Hanks vibe: someone who is fun, occasionally silly, and self-effacing.

Maybe the girls at your office share a creep list, and even though you're a perfectly well-adjusted guy one of the other not-so-well-adjusted girls has volunteered you for the list.

You just need to find that bitch and demand that she take you off the list.

Are you married? Attached? Find a way to bring up your SO in conversations. That's something a lot of women do to telegraph a lack of interest, I'm sure they'd understand if you used it as well.

Speaking from personal experience? Clearly you're still angry about it.

The only female I see at my office (we have offices spread out over many buildings) about twice a week has huge boobs. But she's kinda fat and has beady eyes, so I don't think she's hot so no temptation to look at her boobs.

huge boobs on full figured gals are the best kind of huge boobs.

no, she's not "full figured" like 80's porn star Christy Canyon - she's full figured in a non-hot way.

I was thinking less Christy Canyon and more Christina Hendricks.

If I stare at Christina Hendricks too long, I start getting light-headed.

Get out of my head!

I thought I was the only one...

the girl at my work is neither of these. She used to be semi-hot, but that was about five years ago. There are zero hot women where I work. Wait, the young female soldiers coming & going to their classes are decent eye candy, but considering I am literally old enough to their grand-father that just makes the whole situation quite pathetic.

Start giving these out as presents. That'll fix everything.

A little off topic (if boobs can ever be off topic) but lately I've been attracted to small boobed girls with small frames, which makes sense. Petite Latinas are really looking good right about now. What's up with that?

One of the guys I work with, got a call from HR and was given a warning for comment he made to one of the girls at work. The comment he made was "Whoa.. look at Puss 'n' Boots.". On Halloween, to girl in a Puss 'n' Boots costume. She called HR and complained that he made an inappropriate comment. Stupid cunt, stupid fucks from HR.