Good news, Star Wars fans!!

Discussion in 'Media Central' started by Diacanu, Mar 10, 2021.

  1. Diacanu

    Diacanu Comicmike. Writer

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  2. We Are Borg

    We Are Borg Republican Democrat

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    Somewhere inside Disney headquarters...

    Disney CEO Bob Chapek:
    I'm concerned that a bunch of internet geeks are not happy with how the Star Wars franchise is progressing. They're saying Kathleen Kennedy should be fired.

    Disney CFO Christine McCarthy: But sir, since Kathleen took the helm of Lucasfilm we've made an extra $3-billion in profit from the Star Wars franchise.

    Disney CEO Bob Chapek: Fuck the geeks. What's next on the agenda?
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  3. Uncle Albert

    Uncle Albert Part beard. Part machine.

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    Oh good. More "the force is female" squirting liquid shits on a beloved franchise.
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  4. Diacanu

    Diacanu Comicmike. Writer

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    Lemme guess.
    Rogan?
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  5. Ten Lubak

    Ten Lubak Salty Dog

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    What does this even mean?
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  6. Ten Lubak

    Ten Lubak Salty Dog

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    Her track record is decent enough - Rogue One, Solo, The Force Awakens and The Mandalorian are all more than good enough to forget the abortions that were TLJ and ROS

    She's made Disney a shitload of money

    If this upsets you then you probably need to get your head out of your ass
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  7. Fisherman's Worf

    Fisherman's Worf I am the Seaman, I am the Walrus, Qu-Qu-Qapla'!

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    But enough about your misogyny...
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  8. Uncle Albert

    Uncle Albert Part beard. Part machine.

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    It means all male characters must be incompetent, stunted man-children who are mocked and derided by their female superiors. It means female protagonists must instantly reach their full potential without struggle or much in the way of development, and they can never, ever be shown as anything but confident and successful, having no personal flaws to overcome and never making any significant error in judgement. And it means those overriding themes must be the entire substance of the story, while any remaining gaps or lulls must be filled with pointless subplots depicting non-white, non-straight characters being strong and courageous in absolutely everything they do. This is what you get when you prioritize agenda and box-checking over quality writing. See also: the train wrecking into a flaming dumpster that is Batwoman.
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  9. We Are Borg

    We Are Borg Republican Democrat

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  10. Uncle Albert

    Uncle Albert Part beard. Part machine.

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    Of course you did. I could've set my watch to it. I look forward to the tortured hair-splits and rationalizations you deploy to refute me.

    Doesn't mean I'm wrong.
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  11. Diacanu

    Diacanu Comicmike. Writer

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    Hair splitting?
    Nah.
    Just gloomily observing this is textbook Youtube CHUD stuff.
    I dunno where you got it from, but you didn't think of it yourself.
    Did the YT recommendations algorithm take you down the alt-right rabbit hole?
    Did you click a bunch of shit with a sneering fat white guy making "pee yoo" faces in the thumbnail?
    What happened?
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  12. Fisherman's Worf

    Fisherman's Worf I am the Seaman, I am the Walrus, Qu-Qu-Qapla'!

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    But doesn't that make the male characters more relatable for you?
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  13. Uncle Albert

    Uncle Albert Part beard. Part machine.

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    From here on out, I'm taking "CHUD" to mean "some individual who's position on something didn't align perfectly with Diacanu's, therefore proving them incapable of having a valid opinion on anything, and addressing any of it on its merits would be beneath you."

    It's some disappointingly arrogant, purity test-level bullshit, but you refuse to explain yourself, so there it is.

    Is this where you swear a solemn oath never to repeat a string of characters first uttered by another human being? The fuck outta here. Sure, you could go through life spewing word salad, but don't mistake that for some kind of monopoly over independent, creative thinking.

    As for where I "got it," my own thoughts plus shit I've probably read/heard various other places, just like every other goddamn meatbag on the planet, including you. There are billions of people hammering the internet with their thoughts, and a lot of them are bound to align. And you can't deny these flaws exist. You can only dismiss them in favor of wherever you were finding your enjoyment in these movies. Which is fine. People can disagree without forfeiting their claim to humanity.

    Examples: Luke and Ahsoka had training from legitimate masters, yet were handily defeated on more than one occasion. Luke was at least a semi-experienced pilot, but barely avoided failure in the death star attack with the help of Han on the Falcon. Rey held off Kylo the first time she handled a lightsaber. Flew the Falcon like a pro after 30 seconds of fumbling and was immediately dogfighting with trained combat pilots in top-of-the-line tie fighters. Luke was a whiny little turd who survived on luck and took three movies to grow up. Rey was just pure badass from the first frame, and hadn't really changed much by her last scene. No clean defeats. Only ambiguous draws. No lasting damage to mind or body to drive credible character development. Only passing inconveniences before resuming badass mode.

    Luke made repeated errors in judgement that had dire, sometimes permanent consequences for other people. The only people facing the same level of consequences for wandering near Rey in the sequel trilogy seem to be the old school characters who were inconvenient to the shifting, conflicting Kennedy/Johnson/Abrams "visions" for modern Wars, who really seem to hold those classic characters in contempt for remaining more popular. Rey was not taken to task for her part in any of it. She could never be anything less than perfect, because that is the paint-by-numbers incarnation of female empowerment in modern entertainment. She can't struggle, have flaws, make mistakes, contend with failures or be meaningfully chastised by anyone for her choices. Even her Palpatine lineage comes up roses, with her miraculously not being directly responsible for anything negative happening to anyone. The bitch of it is I like Daisy Ridley, and I'm not going to shit on her, but that's not enough to overlook the rest.

    Sure, there are some "Yeah, but.." to be had, it is possible for people to have a different take on the same events, and I'm not completely negative about the sequel trilogy. But I didn't intend a movie review here.
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  14. Rimjob Bob

    Rimjob Bob Classy Fellow

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    I'm finding it hard to make sense of this.

    Disney Wars has sucked generally, but not for these reasons.
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  15. Diacanu

    Diacanu Comicmike. Writer

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    Yes, it's that "plus shit" you need to weed out to be your old self again.
    Let's make that happen.
    :yes:
  16. Fisherman's Worf

    Fisherman's Worf I am the Seaman, I am the Walrus, Qu-Qu-Qapla'!

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    Agreed. The Sequel Trilogy had a lot of issues, but none of it really had to do with the gender of the characters. I don't even remember gender being an issue in the movies.
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  17. AlphaMan

    AlphaMan The Last Dragon

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    Welcome to what it's been like being a black man goin to the movies for the last 100 years or so.... although it sounds like you're exaggerating a bit. Sure, it's bugged me mostly during the first 20 years of my life, but I don't know if it stopped me from enjoying a movie.
    Last edited: Mar 19, 2021
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  18. Uncle Albert

    Uncle Albert Part beard. Part machine.

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    A reasonable reply.
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  19. Jenee

    Jenee Driver 8

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    It's just the current trend. TV/movie writers tend to go off a ... checklist of sorts. Like, back in the 90s/2000s there were tv shows with balding, overweight, not so bright white guys, but they all had skinny, pretty, smart wives. Back in the 70s, the men were macho and the women were in need of saving.

    I also dislike the current trend, but for different reasons.
  20. Steal Your Face

    Steal Your Face Anti-Federalist

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    Dicky thinks it's impossible for two different people to have the same thought and if they do, surely it's not their own thoughts, but they got it from some "CHUD on YouTube."
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  21. Diacanu

    Diacanu Comicmike. Writer

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    It would be different if the script weren't word for word.
  22. Fisherman's Worf

    Fisherman's Worf I am the Seaman, I am the Walrus, Qu-Qu-Qapla'!

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    Maybe stop posting Chuddy YouTube videos, and people won't feel that way about you. :shrug:
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  23. Raoul the Red Shirt

    Raoul the Red Shirt Professional bullseye

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    Since you recognize that Ahsoka has been defeated despite having training and (presumably) you know that Ahsoka is a woman, is it possible that the issue is not gender and some feminist agenda here? Could it maybe that Rey was either just luckier/better than Ahsoka and Luke? Could it be that Luke facing the Emperor and Vader and a full-fledged Empire in their respective primes had a bigger uphill battle than fighting a conflicted Kylo Ren, Snoke/Palpy clone and the First Order? Or that Rey came from the Palpatine bloodline, and thus might have more power starting off? Or that as the film said, she was imbued somehow with the strength of all the Jedi in a way that neither luke nor Ahsoka were (at least as far as we saw them?) Or that unlike Luke at least, Rey had been drawing on the Force unconsciously in her daily struggles to survive for a decade living that scavenger life.

    Finn also held his own for a bit against Kylo. Let's point out that Kylo had been hit by Chewie's bowcaster of death and had been conflicted after just killing his dad. He wasn't at his fighting best, and it's fairly safe to say his fighting best couldn't hold Vader's respirator.

    We know that Anakin flew whatever ship he was in like a pro at nine years old, dogfighting with experienced pilots and accomplishing shiznit that trained pilots (which may or may not have included some Jedi, can't remember, don't care to rewatch any of the prequel movies) did not. Why is it wrong that Rey could as well? Especially because it was at least implied that Rey was at least somewhat familiar with ships through years of scavenging (as opposed to Anakin being a slave who would have had little opportunity to have flown in space or to have interacted with vehicles that did so)?

    I think you are overestimating Luke's errors in judgment and underestimating Rey's.

    As I see Luke's mistakes:
    1. He goes off by himself in the storm on Hoth, which leads to him almost being eaten as a frozen dinner. But he didn't. He was relatively easily cured from his exposure.

    2. He leaves Dagobah to confront Vader before his training is finished. As a consequence, he gets his hand chopped off, loses his lightsaber, and Han is frozen and taken to Jabba. But a) if Luke had stayed to complete his training, Han and the rest probably would have died. b) within a half-hour or so of Jedi, the negative consequences of these choices have effectively been reversed. Luke has a new hand that is functionally the same as the old one, a new lightsaber, and he has rescued Han and gotten rid of Jabba and most of his criminal empire.

    3. He lets Leia kiss him romantically.

    4. He lets him and Our Heroes get taken by the Ewoks. Again no big deal.

    5. He momentarily draws from the Dark Side when Vader suggests turning Leia. Again, he soon corrects himself.

    6. He confronts the Emperor before he is ready to handle him. Vader saves Luke, so again, NBD.

    Maybe there are more mistakes that I'm not thinking of, but really, none of them had dire or permanent consequences other than the loss of the hand, and again, with the ability to have a perfect prosthetic, NBD.

    Rey's mistakes include 1. trusting and ForceTiming with Kylo as much as she did 2. not getting trained by Leia ASAP 3. Being as obsessed as she was about who her parents were 4. Thinking that Luke had all the answers as to Jedi wisdom. And yes, the consequences of these mistakes were not permanent or dire either. But they did exist and shape her journey.
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  24. NAHTMMM

    NAHTMMM Perpetually sondering

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    Yeah, just saw that bit again last night. Kylo should have killed him like five times over, even without the Force giving him an insane edge. Just mediocre writing/staging.


    2, 5, and 6 are the only points I'd consider plausible errors on Luke's part. There were probably a lot of other Rebels not using the buddy system. Luke had no idea Leia was his sister. And if the Emperor has all that time to foresee the future and doesn't see a bunch of teddy bears coming, how is Luke supposed to know?
  25. 14thDoctor

    14thDoctor Oi

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    I thought it was strongly implied that Rey picked up a lot of her Jedi skills through her force connection with Kylo (which was being strengthened by Snoke/The Emperor) and that the connection went both ways. That had to be how Kylo suddenly knew how to use force healing, right? :shrug:
  26. We Are Borg

    We Are Borg Republican Democrat

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    Fuck. Me. :shock:

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  27. Raoul the Red Shirt

    Raoul the Red Shirt Professional bullseye

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    I don't think that any of the things I listed as mistakes are really big deals either, and I mostly put the kissing Leia thing as a semi-joke. I don't know what UA thinks are these mistakes that had permanent and dire consequences, because like I said, these didn't really.

    I think it's a strong point that Rey and Kylo were learning about and from each other by their bond. That in part allowed Rey to do stuff we have never before seen a Jedi (or for that matter, any Force user) do, like wield force lightning strong enough to blow up a spacecraft hundreds if not thousands of feet away (previous users could only muster close-range blasts that other Jedi could withstand at least briefly), force healing and force teleportation of objects. But this too is part of the feminization of Star Wars apparently, even though Kylo has these abilities too.
    Last edited: Mar 22, 2021
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  28. Fisherman's Worf

    Fisherman's Worf I am the Seaman, I am the Walrus, Qu-Qu-Qapla'!

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    "WHY IS THIS WOMAN SCREAMING AT ME, THIS ISN'T MY STAR WARS." -- UNCLE ALBERT
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  29. ed629

    ed629 Morally Inept Banned

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    Not sure if this is the place to mention it, but am I the only that noticed the Ewoks don't have butt holes? Where are they supposed to poop from? On any other animal with fur that short, the butthole is pretty obvious.
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  30. Uncle Albert

    Uncle Albert Part beard. Part machine.

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    If you've only got one orifice, it must serve all purposes. Could be why Wicket(?) appreciated the taste of Leia's ration crackers.
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