There have been too many lame call-out threads around here, so I decided it was time for a good call-out thread. Besides, @Bickendan gets away with way too much around here. As the title says, he is a stupid idiot. But what Wordforge needs is smart idiots. Like me. So what makes ol' Bick a stupid idiot, you might ask? I'll tell you: He dares to believe, contrary to all common sense and irrefutable scientific proof, that Belgian chocolate is better than Swiss chocolate.
I don't think I've ever had proper Swiss chocolate, but on a visit to Bruges we tried some of the best chocolate ever, hard to beat
Same, except I was in Brussels. Also might have been the same day we were trying all the Belgian beers so my memory is slightly hazy here.
You know how I know Belgian chocolate's superior to Swiss chocolate? Because Belgium got overrun by Krauts, twice, and resisted. Nothing like adversity to make yourself better Swiss chocolate, like Switzerland itself, is neutral ...I will give the Swiss their knives, though. Those are nifty.
"Resisted" being defined in this case as "caved in about as fast as the French did." The Germans knew better than to invade Switzerland, though. Besides, the dialect hurt their ears. "Wi nööt güet Tschwitertüütsch reden..."
To be fair, the Belgians weren't expecting to be used as France's backyard, as they thought Germany was going to go through France's front door instead.
Pfft. Like cocoa grows in Belgium or Switzerland ... smh ... The best chocolate is from Africa. https://www.beyondgood.com/
Let's just shut this debate down RIGHT NOW and unequivocally agree that Americans know absolutely fuck all about chocolate.
Buying Hershey's chocolate in Switzerland is like buying "Mexican food" at Taco Bell. Lindt & Sprüngli for the win!
That was a joke, son. I had the good stuff when I was in Zurich. And Regensburg. And Nuremburg. And various other places in Germany and Austria.
I do not know this to be fac t, buti it seems logical that the chocolate people where the chocolate grows would be the people who know chocolate. I would like to taste some african chocolate. OK, look here. I am a fucking dumb american when it comes to chocolate. So if you could all please send me some real decent chocolate in large amounts I would be happy to educate myself. I am not saying your wrong, I am just saying show me. No really show me with large piles and piles of the stuff. I am willing to learn and I am pretty sure i am a slow learner who needs lots of repetition.
And probably for pretty much the same reason that chocolate in Africa is very average. Just because it's grown there doesn't mean they have the best technology to process it. That's how the Belgians became famous for chocolate: while they were busy reducing the inhabitants of the Congo to slavery in their own country so they could get rubber and chocolate, they brought that chocolate back to Europe and refined it, sweetened it, and made it into something really nice. I'm not sure any more how the Swiss got into the act, though I do know they were working with chocolate from the Congo via Belgium to do it. Geographically, France is in between the Belgians and the Swiss, but even though French chocolate isn't bad, it isn't up to the standards of either of our neighbors.
The company in that link are registered Fair Trade. They do not have slaves picking the cocoa. The workers in the process of making the cocoa into chocolate are not slaves. The workers making the chocolate into candy bars are not slaves. Everything tastes better when you are free.