Carrot because you have the brain of one. You are not funny, not an effective troll, and you probably smell of elderberries. You status as a hamster remains unverified.
Reminds me of my first-ever con - Atlanta Fantasy Fair, 1987. Talk about culture shock! My first day I was on my way down to the dealers' room, and on the escalator ahead of me was a perfect Flaming Carrot cosplayer. I don't know if the term "cosplay" was even used back then.
I know it is spam, but it does have a huge historical significance for me. Believe it or not I get called a lot of things. I had thought I had been called every insult I could imagine, but this was at least new. I know it is new because I have also never been able to use a sorcerer hunters reference in response to an insult. So honestly I have to thank @Lanzman for something original and setting me up like that. I'll be your carrot.