Paladin Says "Bonjour" to the Great White North

Well, tomorrow I'm off to Montreal for the better part of a week. Loooong plane ride cross country (1 stop).

I'm going for work, but I'll have a day and the evenings for myself...any suggestions?

For some reason, I've never made it to Montreal, even though it's only five hours away, and I speak a passable French. I'll be very interested to get your report.

Passable French, for France/Belgium, maybe. Quebecois French is something else entirely.

Expos game, natch.

Oh I know! I was in New Brunswick a couple of weeks back, where there is also a substantial Francophone population. For some reason, those fuckers chose to speak neither English nor French, but some gobbledygook designed to confuse American tourists.

There's a casino in Montreal. Not exactly Vegas-level ritzy, but it's not terrible either.

Last time I was there I went to the Bio-Dome. Very cool place, I recommend checking it out. The large tilted tower is interesting to look at.

There's a large art museum which is worth a visit. There's also a science center and a planetarium.

Rue St. Catherine is good for bar hopping. A few strip clubs as well.

Fais gaffe aux maringouins.

Poutine. Lots and lots of poutine.

Also the strippers are "full contacte" in Montreal, just an fyi.

Montreal is a beautiful city. I was there once. Also interesting both geographically & geologically. Winters must be so horrendously horrible up there!

Biftek St Laurent for rowdy night crowd that's there to drink-might still be an awesome burger grill with no name across the street, but it's been a few years.

The Main Restaurant, again on St Laurent. Classic Jewish diner.

SuperSexe on Ste Cathrine for "exclusive" gentlemen's entertainment of the highest caliber.

Best regional beer is the Boreale family.

One of my hosts tells me that the Quebecois French being spoken north of here out in the boonies is increasingly incomprehensible to speakers of standard French.

You missed me by a week. I was just in Montreal.

Everyone talks about the strip clubs in Montreal, but I think they're highly overrated. Frankly, if you're going to blow a few hundred bucks on overpriced beer and naked women you may as well hire an escort and get your pee pee honked. Nonetheless, as cities go Montreal is one of the better ones for peeler bars.

The casino is also under major construction at the moment so it's not a fun place to be.

Some of my favourite places in Montreal, all within walking distance of the downtown area:

- St. Paul Street West (rue Saint Paul Ouest) in old Montreal has a bunch of great restaurants and bars.

- Gibby's is a fantastic steakhouse but dinner will cost you quite a bit.

- If you like cigars, Stogies Lounge on Crescent Street is a great hangout. Crescent Street in general is full of bars, but they're largely populated by young McGill University students.

- Saint Catherine Street (rue Sainte-Catherine) is pretty much the "main drag" of Montreal (similar to Broadway in NYC) and it's where all the shops and tourists are.

Enjoy! Montreal is a fun city.

Yeah, that's the greatest thing there.

Even if you don't show up for anything specific, there's always something going on.

Getting out to see the sites today.

Last night, I went down to Vieux-Montreal (the old part of town, near the waterfront) and had a pretty terrific dinner at Steak Frites St. Paul. Good steak, bottomless fries. A little on the pricey side, but whadayagonnado?

I walked around Rue Saint Paul a bit, strolled by Notre Dame de Montreal, the local cathedral (nice, but pales beside the one in Paris). Had a very fun conversation with a cab driver--a guy from Haiti--about the tension between French and English culture here in Quebec.

Saw a couple of noteworthy cars. On the street near the Palais des Congres, I saw a suprisingly dirty red ZL1 Camaro. This morning in the hotel parking garage--parked right up front next to the attendant station, natch--a bright yellow Lamborghini Gallardo. Beautiful.

First impressions about the country? It's not so different here. There are a lot of the same brands and stores. The cars are mostly the same. The dollar is near parity here, so everything would cost about the same, but the taxes are higher. My hosts--being tech guys--and I had lots in common, and we appreciate a lot of the same things. People are friendly and most immediately speak English to me, probably to spare me embarrassment from my broken French. The city is pretty clean, though there seems to be a lot of graffiti. I'm told--and have no reason to doubt--that it's safe to wander the streets after dark and have done so.

I like the look of a lot of the women: they have that straightforward French beauty, not overly made up, long hair pulled back and often with a tress or two placed just so, trim physiques, and shapely legs running around on high heels.

And poutine! Oh my God! It's amazing Canadians aren't falling over dead from heart attacks by the millions eating this stuff. Pommes frites (not called French fries here, natch) with THICK, BROWN GRAVY poured over the top and toppings applied thereon. Mine had steak and blue cheese. Absolutely decadent. My hosts tell me it's a dish from northern Quebec. That figures, I said. I should probably go cut down some trees to work it off...

Reservation at Gibby's tonight!

Off to the Planetarium.

http://barfblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/11/sorry_CA01.jpg

Cureently tintocixactated. I mean druink.

Drank a few too many Canadian beers. wHAT WAS that bplace callled? 3 something or others. Oh wait got the frecipet....Les 3 Brasseurs. Very good beer. Excellent chickent wings, too.

Yes, this is the place/....



Very good beer. Dated Le Brune, but married Le Ambree. Good stufff.

Recovered from this afternoon's beer-a-palooza.

Now recovering from digestus extremis due to the food at Gibby's. Let me tell you, I spent $100 at the place (incuding wine, taxes, tip)...and it was pretty much worth it. I'm going to settle into a food coma now...

agreed about quebec women. some of the finest on the continent by my reckoning. Definitely the best in bed.

Poutine is totally hick food when done traditionally. Cheese curd and chunky beef gravy if you're a purist. I still remember my first time having it way out in the east end of the province-chip truck style.

Glad you're enjoying yourself.

I had drinks at 3 Brasseurs on rue Ste Paul two Thursdays ago! Small world.

Don't say I didn't warn you about Gibby's! It's great food but very pricey. On another trip to Montreal (I think it was this past April), myself and two other gentlemen had dinner at Gibby's. The bill, with taxes and tip, came out to just under $900.

You should have seen the look on my accountant's face when I submitted the bill for expenses.

Titty bars, there is touching in the champagne room.

Two things:

1. Everything you've observed is correct, but what you've noticed is only superficial. Starbucks and Gap stores and Chevrolets do not a country make. If you really understood Canada, you'd know there are major cultural differences between us and Americans.

2. Quebec is not representative of the whole of Canada.

Go get some french fries, or some cheese doodles, THEN you're gonna notice some startling differences.

$900 for dinner?

I know several people whose cars cost less than that.

Let me know if you ever get into the Toronto area.

I'll buy you dinner!

I honestly don't think I could eat a $900 dinner with a straight face. I'll take some mac & cheese and $899 worth of textbooks, though.

Oh, I get that there are differences. Just in the day-to-day things, they don't seem to be a big deal. I didn't debate national health care with my hosts, but we had similar outlooks on many things and our senses of humor jived very well.

I think Canadians like to emphasize the differences between them an Americans, but, compared to people in other countries, we're very similar.

Understood.

William Shatner is from Montreal!

How the heck did I miss this thread.

A couple of key points:

1) Poutine, or at least the traditional Quebec variety is suppose to come with cheese curds. These should be white cheddar, and 'squeeky'. Some people use mozzarella on them. These inferior specimens of humanity should be immediately shunned for the barbarians they are.

2) There is a lot of truth to Spaceturkey's comment about Quebec women. They are usually up for anything, including anal.