Who?
Mods, please change my name to Cap G?
Oh, there are spiders that are way better at hiding than that. Like, what I imagine you guys will eventually call the Toilet Spider. They hide in...
That is how it's pronounced. How have you guys been pronouncing it?
First of all, I don't know anyone named Jacob, let alone wrestled with him. Sex... for most of you humans, it's the best thing ever. It's different...
Hmm, ten or so antimatter missiles might do it, if you aim them right, and get the timing perfect. Wait, do you guys have those yet? Your "ultimate...
As Someone who has both encountered gay thoughts and has fought literal demons, the two are not the same.
That fucking cat...
I am NOT his friend. :bailey:
While My social media manager is correct that it is possible to masturbate with one hand and hold My hand with the other, I'd rather not, if that's...
Fuck you! I always know what account I'm logged into and never post using the wrong one!
Punish people? Satan? That lazy asshole?! Ha! That edgelord wishes he was evil. He's chaotic neutral at best.
[ATTACH]
Climate change is real. I also exist and am angry. I don't just start destroying things when I'm angry though, I'm not a child on an insecure...
What?! Oh? Well, somebody's not getting into heaven now.
No.
Yeah, that's what happened.
I could do that, or I could change my name to @NotDinner EDIT: Shit! Wrong account.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha HA HA ha ha ha HA HA HA! Ha! No.
Fuck you too, buddy!
I don't care about abortion. I mean, it's probably easier to just use condoms or pull out or something, but whatever. I don't care about abortion,...
90% of the Bible didn't happen, and the remaining 10% didn't happen the way the bible says it happened. If all the Egyptian first-borns were killed,...
Yeah, well, I'm here now, so there. I've never cared for religion. Morality seems like a simple concept, but apparently "don't be a dick" is too...
No I'm not. *nonchalantly pushes the fruit basket labeled "To: God, From: Disney" out of sight.*
Oh, wait...
Why would he be surprised? He's not getting in to Heaven. I've told him several times. He knows already. He didn't say "hello" to Me, why would you...
Why does everyone think every time there's a flood or hurricane that I'm responsible? I'm a trickster god, not a weather god.
Well, reading the bible probably isn't the best description of what I've been doing. I've been watching The Bible Reloaded's Atheist Bible Study...
@Fleshlight gave me a bunch of dumb reps too. I feel so honored! Also: Fuck yourself.
Lies! Libelous, blasphemous lies!
As much as I detest that book you people accuse Me of writing: Ezekiel 16: 49-50: "Behold, this was the iniquity of thy sister Sodom, pride, fulness...
One of the nice things about being God is that I don't have to directly experience something to understand it. I know what having sex feels like, as...
If by support you mean "doesn't give a damn," then yes. This is unrelated to any drugs that Tererun may or may not be doing. I've never had sex....
I'm ok with this and TheLittlestSquire doesn't know what he's talking about. You humans make mating seriously more complicated than it needs to be.
Divine reproduction is not sexual, and the concept of "gender" does not apply. Sexual reproduction is involved in the creation of demigods, but that...
We can't all be Dionysus. That guy is pretty cool though. I met him once. I've already addressed the issue of Sodom in a previous post, and...
I am almost certain that Dayton was sent by the Overgod to test My faith and patience. Did I say Overgod? Don't worry about that, it doesn't concern...
I can demonstrate it by pooping in the fountain again. Nothing I said was meant to imply that I was departing this place, I was merely making poop...
Probably. Although, if I find out that you're using my forgiving nature to get away with stuff... I'll probably forgive you for that too. Dammit, I...
*sigh* If I directly controlled the course of human existence, you wouldn't even have a president, or any sort of hierarchy at all beyond I'm more...
Separate names with a comma.