What do you do that's daft amuses you??? Back in the days of TBBS membership they used to get wound up other the stupidest shit, I once posted that I got an erection when the two Aliens slaughtered the third one to escape and people lost their shit - then I did it again saying I got an erection when Miles killed E'Char - same response again - great fun. When at Dialysis I play Monopoly online, I get through the profanity filter for usernames with creative spelling - I always set it to YourDadLuvsC0ck or YourMumDrinksCum etc. Also when I land on a spot that essentially bankrupts me and it asks me to raise money I sell all my stuff to a competitor for 1 coin - sending who I should give it to into a frenzy - great fun. Share yours...
If I fart in public and other people are around, I blame the closest person to me. If they say something like "No, it was you," I sigh and say "you win" in a defeated tone. If they say something like "you're the one who farted," then I say "well, yeah, but I wasn't talking about the fart." If they just take the blame and apologize, I say "wait... you can hear me? Can you see me? Oh thank god! I need your help! See, there was an accident in the particle accelerator lab at the university..."
Ask people if they want to see a picture of "my wifes soaking wet Pussy". Then send them a picture of the Cat just after it had a Bath.
Call random web design companies and shout "WEB DESIGN [INSERT CITY NAME]" - and just repeat that until they hang up, or if they ask who it is say "Joe" when they ask "Joe who?" say "Joe Mamma".
This is why phones need a button to zap the person on the other end for a lot of pain. I would love to use that on the potential spam guy that keeps calling me.
I saw an advert on Facebook to sponsor a Donkey, I sent them a message suggesting their headline should be: Don’t be an Ass, sponsor a Donkey today.
Back when I was in my early 20s, on every birthday, I'd go to the store and buy the cheapest green apple cigar I could get (thanks, Swisher Sweets), and then I'd drive around town all afternoon, with the windows down playing a mix of rap music and polka, and when I'd stop at a red light, I'd lean out the window, lit cigar in my mouth and loud rap/polka playing, and say to the person in the next car, "it's my birthday!" The looks on people's faces was always worth the slight increase for lung cancer.
In my younger days I rented a flat above an uptown cafe - if I was in at busy times and felt a fart coming I used to sit on the floor and force it out.
When I was in School I told my teacher he looks like Commander Kruge, he told me to “Get out!!!” I was like “you sound like him too”
Yes I've had to come up with some pretty creative spellings for Eat Shit And Die an older troll nic I used to use 3@t 5h!t @nd D13 and so on
I have smart speakers (Sonos) through my entire home. I got punched by the girl I was dating when I had this play. Right after.... I said "Alexa, play "I Just Had Sex by Akon in bedroom". It started playing, after about 30 seconds she punched me, then started laughing.
So when I was younger I burnt my thumb, when I went to get the dressing removed she wanted to remove the scabbing by massaging it with lubricant. It looked like she was jacking off my thumb, I had to look away to avoid an awkward situation.
When I was a kid our local computer shop was called "Micks Games" - the guy was a total asshole, we used to call it "Pricks Games", some people used to even shout it at him from outside. It shut down after about a year, fucker deserved it.
I love trolling right wingers, it's so easy and they get so wound up over the stupidest shit. I once said to one "the flag is a peice of cloth" - and they literally threatened to kill me LMAO. Or say anything against their precious Farage, they hate that one too - even though he'll take away all their rights and make them sign up for expensive health insurance first chance he gets.
I once told someone I laughed my ass off when the Captain of the Titanic died in the movie, that didn't go down well.
So when I was a kid I had a cheap ass Cricket bat - it was probably from pound land or something - it was 1/4 size and came with a Tennis Ball. My friend came round with a real cricket ball (like the red seriously heavy type), we decided to play cricket using his Ball and my Bat, he threw the Ball, I hit it with the Bat and the Bat split into 5 pieces.
