I Demand An Apology From Dayton3!

Recently, as some of you know, Dayton threatened me. With Violence.

I felt frightened by this. Scared. Alone. I didn’t know what to do. How do I get a handle on this bully masquerading as a “teacher” and a “Star Trek fan’?

I had a half a bottle of wine (Shiraz), two mallomars, a cantaloupe and a joint to help me deal with the shaking and sweating from the trauma after being threatened by this internet ogre. It hasn’t helped.

I didn’t know what to do. And then it hit me and I knew. I was certain he could help me!

I tweeted the whole story of Dayton to William Shatner! I told him of Dayton's threats of violence and sex, his distorted ideas about Star Trek, history, politics, wife beating, getting a job. Everything.

And Captain Kirk tweeted back!

He consoled me by telling me that in the 23rd Century, hillbillies will just be an amusing relic of our past and that I needed to be the better man. He suggested that I ask for this apology and to stick out my hand in peace and friendship.

He really is a diplomat!

So as Captain Kirk wants me to;

Dayton, will you apologize? And take my hand in a non-sexual way?

Here I am.

Idiot. One does not serve Mallomars with Shiraz.

It was all I had in the house. Stress eating is terrible.

I blame the cantaloupe.

Maybe Dayton should give you a lend of his wife for you to fill in for him in the lovin' dept....ya know, so that he can get some much needed relief from all the troublesome extra humping he's forced into.

Cantaloupe is certainly the most evil of fruits. It's main purpose seems to be to make the other fruit in a fruit salad taste like shit.

I'd be much more scared if Dayton threatened me with cantaloupe than if he threatened to beat me up.

His "practice" cantaloupe?

No. The cantaloupe was comforting!

You know, comments like this make you worse than Dayton has ever been.

That's just fruit based racism, IMHO!

Which really goes against the grain.

Mallomars are overrated. Pinwheels are where it's at.

Has Dayton posted today? Maybe he's flying to NY to threaten me in person.

I apologize and hope it did not cause undue annoyance

You responded to a troll thread by apologizing? Where is the real Dayton and what have you done to him?

What brought about this?

I'm sorry, I was wrong. I deviated from the label tonight and paired Vendange Shiraz with Mallomars. The two go well together. Like peanut butter and jelly. Cantaloupe should work too.

Don't they say that sometimes you should declare peace?

Every war ends

No problem, Dayton. No annoyance at all.

Here, have a picture of my dog:

Do you forgive him?

Your dog drinks wine coolers cider? Get him a beer, damn it!

It's gluten free, baby!

It's a ladies' drink.

O'mission beer is tasty and doesn't pique my duhring's disease (shudder). Sorghum beer (busch makes some, Redbridge) is drinkable. I've also found a large selection of gluten free pizza at Kroger. Costco sells one kind that's very tasty. Beer and Pizza. Huzza!! My life's worth living again.

Ciders don't do it for me.

Funny you should say that; her name is Lady.

markb is having an affair with Elizabeth Banks to slight dayton.

You need a sheltie cause you live in new york.

You need to stick your dick in a pencil sharpener.