I'll Have What He's Drinking (Not the Onion)

Woman quits her job to breastfeed her boyfriend every two hours

Apparently, this is a real thing!

• People in ‘Adult Breastfeeding Relationships’ – also known as ‘Adult Nursing Relationships’ – are called ‘nursing couples’.
  Sometimes, these relationships arise after a couple has had a baby.
• In other cases, a woman can artificially induce lactation – by encouraging a partner to ‘dry’ breastfeed regularly until milk flow occurs.
• Successful adult nursing relationships depend on a stable and long-term relationship – need to maintain a steady milk flow.
• This only works if the woman has previously had a baby – and some couples use drugs such as Domperidone to induce milk flow.

And

I'm guessing this woman is white, possibly of German decent.

Looks for photo

Yup, I'm at least 50% right. Does anyone know the origin of the surname "Mulford?"

If she...ahem...eats lots of bananas, will it be flavored?

Not the Onion indeed -- less funny, no more reliable.

It must take hours to make a bowl of cereal in that house. *rimshot*

So basically it comes down to some dude being all.....

Quitting a job because it interferes with some sex thing is probably excessive, but, whatever.

If I was with someone who was lactating I would definitely try some because, why not? But I'm not sure I'd want to be doing it all the time. Seems like it would get boring pretty quick.

Irish, I believe.

I'll take your word for it. All white people look the same to me.

Looking at the boobs in question, they're not worth staying home for. Very veiny. *shivers*

Some things never change:

The ford part would imply British origins.

https://www.houseofnames.com/mulford-family-crest

Called it.

You can do what you want, but quitting your job in order to breastfeed your man sounds like something else to me. First I have no doubt she lies like the cheap :O she is when she says it was her idea. Really, who wants someone sucking on their fits every two hours. That might be fun for a while, but it has to get old fast. She has some major self hatred going on if she thinks she needs to be this desperate to keep a loser like that. She is also probably some underpaid waitress at a dive bar because no self respecting woman with a real career quits to breastfeed a so called bodybuilder who is that scrawny. Seriously, if you have a decent career you buy him some synthetics and a straw and tell his sorry ass when he is done to stop hanging out in the gym telling himself he is a bodybuilder and get a real job.

It is just sad to see such self loathing women go down a hole of such desperation for an obvious 1.5.

Looking at the guy in question he probably ends up cleaning the bar floor of whatever drunk bitches are there at last call.

Says Tererun, while secretly wishing to be her.

Gross.