Some one-liners you have found to be funny and appropriate given the times

Discussion in 'The Red Room' started by KIRK1ADM, Aug 6, 2011.

  1. KIRK1ADM

    KIRK1ADM Bored Being

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    What are some of the one-liners you have heard over the past few years that describe the incompetence of our government and it's elected officials?

    Here are some of the ones I have heard.


    The liberals are asking us to give Obama time.
    We agree...and think 25 to life would be appropriate.
    --Jay Leno

    America needs Obama-care like
    Nancy Pelosi needs a Halloween mask.
    --Jay Leno

    Q: Have you heard about McDonald's'
    new Obama Value Meal?
    A: Order anything you like
    and the guy behind you has to pay for it.
    --Conan O'Brien

    Q: What does Barack Obama
    call lunch with a convicted felon?
    A: A fund raiser.
    --Jay Leno

    Q: What's the difference between
    Obama's cabinet and a penitentiary?
    A: One is filled with tax evaders, blackmailers,
    and threats to society.
    The other is for housing prisoners.
    --David Letterman

    Q: What was the most positive result of
    the "Cash for Clunkers" program?
    A: It took 95% of the Obama bumper
    stickers off the road.
    --David Letterman
  2. Ancalagon

    Ancalagon Scalawag Administrator Formerly Important

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    Bullshit, as most of those if not all of them were never said by the people they are attributed to.

    But if by 'hear' you mean you cut and pasted from other message boards or email forwards.....

    http://www.usmessageboard.com/politics/137705-comedians-make-fun-of-obama.html

    Note the date, this shit is Midnight Funeral old.
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  3. Yelling Bird

    Yelling Bird Probably a Dual

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    Some of those are kind of funny, but there's no way any of those people would have ever said such things about our dear leader.
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  4. Margaret

    Margaret Pearl of Great Price

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    One does find amusement, however, in the lengths some will go to to find relevance for their own views in the opinions of celebrities. As if either Mr. Leno, Mr. O'Brien, or Mr. Letterman were experts on matters politic.

    It's almost as amusing as watching the uninformed attribute M. Guizot's much-misunderstood quote to Mr. Churchill. You know the one:

    'Show me a young Conservative and I'll show you someone with no heart. Show me an old Liberal and I'll show you someone with no brains'.

    The quote is actually 'Not to be a republican at twenty is proof of want of heart; to be one at thirty is proof of want of head', and in fact originated with François Guizot, who died in 1874, and was later appropriated by M. Clemençeau, who tailored it to his own needs thus:

    'Not to be a socialist at twenty is proof of want of heart; to be one at thirty is proof of want of head'.

    Given the historically fungible definitions of the key words in question, the quote is a good way to winnow the ignorant from the informed.

    Pity so many of the former fall in the so-called 'conservative' American camp...
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  5. Lanzman

    Lanzman Vast, Cool and Unsympathetic Formerly Important

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    Would it be impolite of me to point out that only one of Kirk's "one-liners" is actually a one-liner? :unsure:
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  6. 14thDoctor

    14thDoctor Oi

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  7. cpurick

    cpurick Why don't they just call it "Leftforge"?

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    Or as if career politicians or community organizers like Obama are experts in matters economic. Or medical. Or financial. Or commercial.

    Stupid liberal fuck.
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  8. Margaret

    Margaret Pearl of Great Price

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    Surely you understand that a nation's leaders surround themselves with experts in the respective fields you mention.

    One assumes you're referring to Mr. Obama. Your disrespect aside, one is constrained to point out that he is the President, and you are...what, precisely?
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  9. cpurick

    cpurick Why don't they just call it "Leftforge"?

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    If they're from business and they're surrounding Obama, then they're either crony capitalists or lobbyists. All the rest of the administration's "expertise" is provided by leftist academics.

    Only if one is too stupid to know I'm referring to you.

    The word you're looking for is "honest."

    Stupid commie bitch. (Wanna guess who I mean by that???)
  10. 14thDoctor

    14thDoctor Oi

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    cpurick respects women! :cool:
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  11. Margaret

    Margaret Pearl of Great Price

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    For which you no doubt have ample evidence.
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  12. Spaceturkey

    Spaceturkey i can see my house

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    Sorry buddy, but....
    linkage

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  13. cpurick

    cpurick Why don't they just call it "Leftforge"?

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    http://blogs.ajc.com/kyle-wingfield/2009/11/30/obamas-cabinet-this-graph-explains-a-lot/

    There's plenty more like this. If you don't like this one, Google it yourself.
  14. Barack H. Obama

    Barack H. Obama Guest

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  15. oldfella1962

    oldfella1962 the only real finish line

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    Regardless of who said them, they were pretty funny.
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  16. actormike

    actormike Okay, Connery...

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    I knew without even looking that this would be a cut 'n paste of made up jokes that nobody ever said. It probably came from KIRK's mom's AOL account.
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  17. garamet

    garamet "The whole world is watching."

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    No one said them. It's too bad whoever wrote them didn't have the courage to take credit for it. Or maybe he was afraid the comics would sue him...
  18. Rimjob Bob

    Rimjob Bob Sue Collini always gets the weenie

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  19. NeonMosfet

    NeonMosfet Probably a Dual

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    So Prez in the dog house is Mr. Barky von Schnauser?
  20. Barack H. Obama

    Barack H. Obama Guest

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    Whoever created them acted stupidly. I invite these critics to a beer summit.

    On them, of course. I'm broke. lol