wife is leaving me.....need "across the board" advice

Why do you think an asset being in your name means she's not entitled to a share of it under equitable distribution? I live in a community property state and have lots of stuff in my name acquired during marriage but I'm under no delusion that it's not legally marital property.

yeah you might be right. I'll be a googling machine that's for sure!

Also your pension isn't safe because it was a "federal" thing. State law applies. There aren't Federal divorce laws. Spouses can claim a share as marital property if the interest is acquired during marriage. You need a wake up call. You are not safe. The reason for your separation is not relevant to your pending divorce. Lawyer up or get her to settle quickly and cheaply.

Here's some info about divorce and military pensions. From the little I've read, it looks like the military treats divorce similarly to private pensions. Nothing would be automatic. Any portion of your benefits that she would get would have to be negotiated as part of your divorce settlement.

One item they mentioned that is unique to military pensions:

• the 10/10 rule has been met; this rule requires that the service member has served at least 10 years in the military, and the parties were married for 10 years during the member’s military service.

I can't find anywhere that addresses it for the military specifically, but as foil pointed out earlier, once you start your pension, you generally can't change the pay form or beneficiary. Most likely she couldn't compel the administrator to pay a portion of your benefits to her directly. It's possible that under Georgia law they could require you to administer the division and pay her alimony in effect.

It's really in your best interest to sit down with a lawyer about this.

Good news! It was a false alarm - she was having some serious emotional meltdowns (menopause, medications, hormones, depression, etc) and her mom talked some sense into her and we got her settled down and back into the land of reality. There are a lot of trouble-making sleazy dudes out there in social media land.

I don't know if you can really call it a false alarm. The die has already been cast, so to speak, even if she's backed out of it. And since this isn't the first time something like this has happened, I really think you ought to keep looking into protecting yourself in case something like this happens again.

Yeah, not so much a false alarm as it is setting your house on fire as a signal (warning) flare.

Y'all need to get into some couples counseling stat!

Also, now that this had moved beyond legal/logistic advice, I'd ask the mods to move this to the BR. Folks are more likely to give advice based on personal experience there.

Well, I'm glad you're not divorcing, but this seems to be a reoccurring issue that at a minimum needs some kind of therapy for.

I was gonna say ditch the bitch, but that's too flippant. Anc's suggestion is sensible.

This. Absolutely this. Unless you're fibbin' to us, this lady has some serious issues. You were thinking of lawyers but it sounds a lot more like you need to be consulting psychologists.

Are you kidding me? I'd file for divorce immediately. Like yesterday.

Sorry for your troubles.

This thread gives me the exact same Spidey-sense tingles as when Techman was having chest pains.

Therefore....

I don't think we have enough information (and what we do have is one sided) to say she has serious issues, but they as a couple obviously do.

My first thought was that a need for both is pretty likely. But on the other hand, maybe dealing with whatever issues made her willing to make such an impulsive leap is something that ends up being a two-person job that a couples counselor can guide you both through. I guess I would find somebody to consult and see what they say.

If you need help figuring out how to find the right person, I have a friend who does couples and family counseling and may be able to suggest ways to go about the search.

1) even marrying a Canadian won't ensure she doesn't get deported. she can stay for I believe it's 6 months at a stretch without a visa.

2) she needs to be a permanent resident for provincial health plans. that'd include an in process immigration. That only covers the doctor... Meds won't be covered without a plan. she also has to be here for 5 of the last 6 months.

3) Yup, I see US origin U-hauls all the time.

4) that'd be up to the courts in GA, not here. She will have to declare it as foreign income.

In that case, disregard the above...

need someone spoken to local to me?

The guy is a pathetic destitute psychotic blow hard - I really pity the shit-bag though, and any woman who would ever actually get involved with him. But he's such a loser he'll never scrape up bas fare to get across his own town let alone get anywhere near my neck of the woods. It takes all kinds, I guess.