And we just got toilet paper back

Discussion in 'The Red Room' started by Tererun, Aug 1, 2020.

  1. Tererun

    Tererun Troll princess and Magical Girl

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    So the east side of america's dumbfuck dick is getting hit with their first hurricane of the season and so starts the panic of the florlemmings. There goes the toilet paper, and the gas is going fast.

    Some poor confused old man was wandering around the gas station where I get my coffee looking for someione to pump gas for him. Evidently he was too stupid to operate a face mask, and his last car was a coal burner because he was asking everyone to pump for him. Someone needs to man the fuck up. There may be an excuse for al old widow who never had to pump gas in her life until her husband died, but as an american man with a car you need to surrender your dick and your driver's license because there is something inherently wrong with you.

    Anyway, I have barely gotten through my TP cube from BJ's I got before COVID hit so I think I will survive. If not, I am sure during the looting I will find a stash of a billion or so rolls in some horder's house.
  2. steve2^4

    steve2^4 Aged Meat

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    I'll bet you took pity and pumped for him.
  3. Tererun

    Tererun Troll princess and Magical Girl

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    He did not have the dime for the glory hole.
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  4. TheLonelySquire

    TheLonelySquire Fresh Meat

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    Hey, what's the most populous Democrat county in Florida? Miami-Dade? AFAF.
  5. garamet

    garamet "The whole world is watching."

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    Okay, Stable Genius.
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  6. Bickendan

    Bickendan Custom Title Administrator Faceless Mook Writer

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    @Tererun did his car have Oregon or Jersey plates?
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  7. Tererun

    Tererun Troll princess and Magical Girl

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    That would have required me to pay attention much farther than I wanted to. I do not know which car he was. The urge to kill was rising, and I am pretty sure asking more questions would have only lead to more conversation which I really did not want to participate in. I would also have to be pretty sure a snowflake from jersey would have learned at some point how to pump gas after leaving jersey and making it to florida.

    I don't believe in Oregon.
  8. Bickendan

    Bickendan Custom Title Administrator Faceless Mook Writer

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    Don't worry, Oregon doesn't believe in you either :meh:
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  9. Shirogayne

    Shirogayne The Gay Collective(tm) Formerly Important

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    oK, I know Oregon has that stupid ass law in place, but how hard is it to learn how to pump gas? I figured it out on my first time behind the wheel. Put Tab A into Slot B, select gas and pull lever.

    It ain't rocket science :shrug:
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  10. steve2^4

    steve2^4 Aged Meat

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    Forbin is from NJ.
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  11. shootER

    shootER Insubordinate...and churlish Administrator

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    I've shared this story before, but some years back an Oregon satellite truck operator was returning to his station in Portland and stopped for fuel.

    He went inside to take a piss and get snacks or something while the "gas guy" fueled the vehicle.

    The moron mistook the truck's cable pass through hatch for the gas cap and proceeded to flood the working area of the vehicle with fuel. :facepalm:

    Looks similar to this, but they're nearly always chrome-plated:

    [​IMG]


    I don't recall how much damage it caused, but the gas station was lucky that the idiot gas-pumper didn't set the rig on fire, which could've cost them upwards of a million dollars. :jayzus:
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  12. Shirogayne

    Shirogayne The Gay Collective(tm) Formerly Important

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    I don't know nothing 'bout trucks, but those are placed in a different area from where the fuel pump would be? :wtf:
  13. shootER

    shootER Insubordinate...and churlish Administrator

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    A cable pass through is a small door that allows cables connected to equipment inside to...pass through...the outside of the vehicle without having to keep the main door to the work compartment open. Since the working area on a satellite truck is usually a box bolted onto the frame of a commercial vehicle (with the cab being the only part that came from Ford/GM/etc) the cable hatches aren't anywhere near the fuel cap.
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  14. ed629

    ed629 Morally Inept Banned

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    The 'gas guy' had to be either stupid or not paying any attention at all. I'm not overly familiar with a satellite truck, but not only the pass through not being anywhere close to the fuel cap. I would also guess that the pass through would not only be on a box or on the side of the truck, with the fuel cap being on a side mounted fuel tank. Or lacking a side mounted fuel tank, the two would look completely different from each other when you open them.

    And wouldn't these be labeled anyway?
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  15. shootER

    shootER Insubordinate...and churlish Administrator

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    No. They're round, spring-loaded, chrome-plated doors. They look nothing like a fuel receptacle. :lol:
  16. Eightball

    Eightball Fresh Meat

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    but now they are hording change.
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  17. Fisherman's Worf

    Fisherman's Worf Sir, I must protest! I am NOT a dairy man!

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    My stock in bidets has been doing well. Why buy toilet paper every month when your own toilet can clean your butthole for you?
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  18. Tererun

    Tererun Troll princess and Magical Girl

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    Why have a bidet when you could just become a republican president and have your shit felched from your ass like the head of a human centipede?
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  19. Fisherman's Worf

    Fisherman's Worf Sir, I must protest! I am NOT a dairy man!

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    I thought Senator Santorum retired?
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  20. Tuckerfan

    Tuckerfan BMF Staff Member Moderator

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    Woot's having a sale on them, I see.
  21. Tererun

    Tererun Troll princess and Magical Girl

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    He may have, but his name will live in infamy.
  22. Tererun

    Tererun Troll princess and Magical Girl

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    Is woot what you say when the cold water hits your asshole?
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