By request: A random history of Canada

Discussion in 'The Red Room' started by Spaceturkey, Nov 20, 2020.

  1. Demiurge

    Demiurge Goodbye and Hello, as always.

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    LOL, that's a very Canadian take. :)

    The US didn't have a standing army, and they paid for it, with the militia not being particularly effective, just like every other point in our history. The US attempt to take land in the North was hampered by several things. One, our ineptness, see Milita above. Two, Canadian alliances with Native American forces, which raided the lands the militias left, causing diversions of US military forces on several occasions. Three, British professionalism and Canadians steadfastly defending their homeland. But ultimately #4, the militia forces of the US refused to cross the border several times, the soldiers not being interested in a war of expansion, unlike the politicians. The battle in the west stopped, with the US and British trading blows in the NE for the rest of the war.

    Yes, the British raised the White House and the city was only spared worse by a freak storm.

    But the US won the naval war on the Great Lakes, and in turn burned York, the capital of Upper Canada, now known as Toronto.

    Ultimately the stated cause of the war for the US was to stop impressment, and that happened. But the unstated goal of the NE politicians was to seize territory, and that failed.

    It was a draw, and quite frankly, a stupid war. Glad we are friends now.
  2. garamet

    garamet "The whole world is watching."

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    RE: the Vikings, I did some research for a novel in the late 1980s, so I knew about L'Anse aux Meadows... or at least what the public library and the Newfoundland Tourist Board knew at the time. Their take was, "Yes, the Vikings were here first, they settled for a while, brought their women with them, too, and then picked up and went home. We're not sure why."

    I suppose at the time the notion that the Native Beothuk with their pre-Iron Age weapons could overcome and drive away the Mighty Vikings was incomprehensible to them. Gratifying to know the digs are providing more accurate information.

    More recently, I stumbled across a movie with Keith Urban called Pathfinder. [Spoilers ahead] IIRC, it's not specific about where in North America the Vikings made landfall, but it begins with a battle in which the Vikings are defeated and retreat, leaving a young boy behind. Instead of killing him, the Natives raise him as their own and, when the Vikings return (why? one asks), the white boy ends up - surprise! - saving the tribe. :sroll:

    Kitschy plot, but some detailed scenes of daily life and culture, and some rip-roaring hand-to-hand battle scenes.

    Will have a look at the other videos later. :)
    Last edited: Nov 21, 2020
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  3. Ancalagon

    Ancalagon outta my way Administrator Formerly Important

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  4. We Are Borg vs. USS Crazy Horse

    We Are Borg vs. USS Crazy Horse Probably a Dual

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  5. MikeH92467

    MikeH92467 RadioNinja

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    Wasn't the U-P the inspiration for Moosylvania in Bullwinkle? My all time favorite episode was when the U.S. and Canada nearly went to war because the U.S. said Mooslyvania belonged to Canada and Canada kept arguing that it belonged to the U.S.:lolol:
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  6. Demiurge

    Demiurge Goodbye and Hello, as always.

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    Yeah, @Asyncritus, what's up with that? :D
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  7. steve2^4

    steve2^4 Aged Meat

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  8. Paladin

    Paladin Overjoyed Man of Liberty

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    History of Canada:

    English explorer arrives, plants flag in the ground, up comes maple syrup. He turns to the others and says "Guess we're staying, eh?"

    The End.
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  9. Paladin

    Paladin Overjoyed Man of Liberty

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    Mustafa.jpg

    or

    fs_beetlejuice_800.jpg
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  10. Asyncritus

    Asyncritus Expert on everything

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    The U.P. is an almost mythical land of wilderness and Gitche Gumee. I'm from the southern part of the state, but in my heart I'll always be drawn to the UP and, in particular, to the Keweenaw. It shouldn't belong to the U.S. or Canada. It should be its own country, because no other country is worthy of the U.P.
    Last edited: Nov 21, 2020
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  11. steve2^4

    steve2^4 Aged Meat

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    And I'm the man who will be killing you now.

    beetlejuice_keaton_6_copy.jpg
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  12. Bickendan

    Bickendan Custom Title Administrator Faceless Mook Writer

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    Don't discount the rabid beaver. It'll have to tide you over until you can afford the cantankerous moose.
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  13. garamet

    garamet "The whole world is watching."

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    These are all wonderful and informative, but I want to address this one separately: Not long ago I watched an American Experience episode called The Orphan Trains. Something like tens of thousands of children were gathered up from major East Coast cities in the U.S. (I'm going from memory here - I know most of them were from NYC, but there may have been other cities such as Boston and Philadelphia as well).

    Some of them were so-called street arabs - genuine orphans, runaways, kids abandoned because their families couldn't feed them - but others were literally snatched away from families with rafts of kids by do-gooders and put on trains to the Midwest, where they were "adopted" with, shall we say, mixed results.

    Some found genuine homes with farm families who raised them as their own. Others were put to work in the fields and subject to abuse and neglect that was often worse than what they'd left behind. Siblings were separated and never saw each other again. Any family name or heritage was erased. The practice continued from 1854 to 1929 (only ended because the Depression meant the "societies" ran out of money).

    Some of the survivors were interviewed for the American Experience episode. One story involved two brothers who'd been separated when they were four and six years old and were finally reunited in their 70s.

    Seeing how differently this was done in Canada made me happy and sad at the same time. Such a simple but significant thing - letting the kids stay together and keep the family name! :(
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  14. Spaceturkey

    Spaceturkey you can't spell hatred without "red hat"

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    it was likewise far from perfect here... "Home children" didn't fare much better once adopted (and yeah, the quotes are totally appropriate) and there's an interesting contrast with the residential schools we stole/forced Native kids into.
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  15. garamet

    garamet "The whole world is watching."

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    I also had to laugh at the vote for Dominion that included the Maritimes but didn't even bother with Newfoundland because they knew the stubborn bastids would refuse. Held out until 1949, if I'm not mistaken. Maybe that's when Cabot's wealth of cod finally dried up.

    RE: Canadian railroads, possibly the loveliest trip I ever took was VIArail from Toronto to Edmonton and back. Closest thing to the Orient Express I'm likely to experience. :wub:
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  16. Spaceturkey

    Spaceturkey you can't spell hatred without "red hat"

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    Makes sense, it was kind of Israel for the Irish diaspora... (That's "Noofin'lend" for you furners).
    And sort of... they joined up in part for the added weight in asserting territorial limits for fishing rights.
    I don't know much about it but there was a lot of talk about which British colonies to fuse onto Canada around and after WW2. Jamaica was in line for provincehood/territorial status, I know... not so sure about Bermuda or other Caribbean possessions.
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  17. Bickendan

    Bickendan Custom Title Administrator Faceless Mook Writer

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    I smell a missed opportunity there :sigh:
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  18. garamet

    garamet "The whole world is watching."

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    :yes: Most East Coast Caribbean cruises leave from NY. St. John's isn't that much further. Imagine a voyage from NFLD to Kingston.
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  19. Tererun

    Tererun Troll princess and Magical Girl

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    I did not see the story of how Canada came up with it's name.

    So they were trying to come up with a name and some canadian suggested they draw letters out of a hat. So the first guy grabbed a letter and said "I got a C, ay" Then the second guy drew his letter and said " I got a N, ay." Then the third guy drew his letter and said " I got a D, ay." So that is how canada got it's name as explained to me by a canadian.
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  20. Fisherman's Worf

    Fisherman's Worf Sir, I must protest! I am NOT a dairy man!

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    I am actually quite interested in the history of Canada now that you bring it up. But that's a lot of YouTube videos to watch... is there maybe an HBO version of Rome, but it's Canada instead? I have an American attention span.
  21. Fisherman's Worf

    Fisherman's Worf Sir, I must protest! I am NOT a dairy man!

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    Also, it's pretty fucked up that both @Asyncritus and the mayor of Portland got teargassed.
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  22. MikeH92467

    MikeH92467 RadioNinja

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    Goddamn, it's one fucking minute at a fucking time! :ualbert:
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  23. Bickendan

    Bickendan Custom Title Administrator Faceless Mook Writer

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    American attention span is 30 seconds, max 4546
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  24. garamet

    garamet "The whole world is watching."

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    No wonder over seven million assholes voted to reelect Trump. :garamet:
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  25. MikeH92467

    MikeH92467 RadioNinja

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    At least Francisco Franco is still dead.
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  26. shootER

    shootER Insubordinate...and churlish Administrator

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  27. Spaceturkey

    Spaceturkey you can't spell hatred without "red hat"

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    this one



    we named it after a mistranslation
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  28. Spaceturkey

    Spaceturkey you can't spell hatred without "red hat"

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    This series is pretty good... although not quite as dramatic. It's supposed to be more Ken Burns like if that floats your boat?


    Oh... and there's Frontier on Netflix, which was alright
    Last edited: Nov 22, 2020
  29. garamet

    garamet "The whole world is watching."

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    Sad, typical white man, but if you think about it, it takes a village. :shrug:
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  30. Fisherman's Worf

    Fisherman's Worf Sir, I must protest! I am NOT a dairy man!

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    Sorry but my minutes don't roll over.