Down By the River, Federal Farmer Almost Died

Discussion in 'The Red Room' started by Federal Farmer, Sep 16, 2019.

  1. Federal Farmer

    Federal Farmer Mexican Joker

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    I also was still out of it when I made this thread.
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  2. Bickendan

    Bickendan Custom Title Administrator Faceless Mook Writer

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    My takeaway is you need to get laid. That means no booze until you seal the deal.
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  3. Fisherman's Worf

    Fisherman's Worf Hamachi is a fish best served cold

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    Did you get a merit badge in binary from the Bot Scouts?
  4. Federal Farmer

    Federal Farmer Mexican Joker

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    No, but I did meet the robot devil once.
  5. Forbin

    Forbin Do you feel fluffy, punk?

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    Astro Boy was a Bot Scout!
    download.jpg
  6. Tererun

    Tererun Magical Girl

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    10100001001111001000110001
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  7. Kommander

    Kommander Mostly dick play.

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    You'll be doin' plenty of dyin'...

    vdbtr.gif
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  8. Tererun

    Tererun Magical Girl

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  9. Kommander

    Kommander Mostly dick play.

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    @Tererun I wish you could just shut you big YAPPER!"
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  10. Federal Farmer

    Federal Farmer Mexican Joker

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    It slipped my mind.

    Now there’s a reference that @We Are Borg would get if he wasn’t such a douchey humourless cunt who hands out shitty trophies.
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  11. Kommander

    Kommander Mostly dick play.

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    I approve. Here's an authentic trophy.

    trophy.jpg
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  12. matthunter

    matthunter Antira

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    This is why excessive drinking should be at home alone or with friends.

    Home? Worst that happens is you fall asleep on the sofa till 4am like me last night.

    Friends? Good ones walk you back or call you a cab. Bad ones are a cheesy 90s series with Matt LeBlanc.
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  13. Federal Farmer

    Federal Farmer Mexican Joker

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    Yeah it was 3:00 am, nobody would have found me.
  14. Paladin

    Paladin Overjoyed Man of Liberty

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    When you bump up against the guard rail in life, take the hint.
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  15. Ten Lubak

    Ten Lubak Salty Dog

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    Oh, so you're a lesbian
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  16. Nova

    Nova livin on the edge of the ledge Writer

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    maybe wise to re-elvaluate the whole "shitfaced" thing?
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  17. Man Afraid of his Shoes

    Man Afraid of his Shoes كافر

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    Wait a minute. You were so drunk that you fell in a CREEK, and had to call 911 to come get you out? :wtf:

    Are you Florida Man?
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  18. oldfella1962

    oldfella1962 light & lethal

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    side note: while not as dramatic as FF almost getting deep sixed by a creek, a few minutes ago I almost got KO'd by my freezer! :dizzy: Let me preach on it: I had the freezer door open (duh) to get some ice and dropped some on the floor. I squatted down to grab it and popped back up and KAPOW :dizzy: subsequently there was cursing and blood but luckily my wife didn't see me pull this epic idiocy. :lol:
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  19. Federal Farmer

    Federal Farmer Mexican Joker

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    Actually it turns out I called an Uber and the Uber took me to the hospital. I was a little fuzzy with the details. I’m piecing the story together now.
    Last edited: Sep 17, 2019
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  20. oldfella1962

    oldfella1962 light & lethal

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    Brett Kavanaugh drives an Uber now? Regardless as for details he'll fill you in no problem! :yes:
  21. Man Afraid of his Shoes

    Man Afraid of his Shoes كافر

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    Bless your sweet sweet heart.
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  22. His Grace Faceman the Duke of Wordforge

    His Grace Faceman the Duke of Wordforge Keeping a Stiff Upper Lip

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    Your parents let you use Uber?
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  23. Bickendan

    Bickendan Custom Title Administrator Faceless Mook Writer

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    That's a fucking deep creek if you almost got deep sixed on one, @Federal Farmer :chris:
  24. Kommander

    Kommander Mostly dick play.

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    Normally I don't disclose personal information of customers, but since you're already talking about it...

    You didn't call Uber, you called Postmates and ordered two burritos from Chipotle. When I got there I pulled you out of the creek and drove you to the hospital even though I typically only deliver stuff, not people. You didn't even tip me, you cheap ass, even after I saved your life. I'm glad I ate your burritos.
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  25. Ancalagon

    Ancalagon outta my way Administrator Formerly Important

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    This.
  26. Quest

    Quest Hail, Columbia Staff Member Administrator

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    Trigger warning: contains yodeling. :unsure:

  27. Bailey

    Bailey It's always Christmas Eve Super Moderator

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    I bet that Uber driver gave you 1 star after you soaked his car.
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  28. Bailey

    Bailey It's always Christmas Eve Super Moderator

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    Also many new phones are waterproof. When I got my S8 I took it into my parents pool. Only bad thing was the touchscreen didn't work underwater.
  29. Federal Farmer

    Federal Farmer Mexican Joker

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    It’s only a couple of feet deep, but it’s all you need o drown.
  30. Tererun

    Tererun Magical Girl

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    When you grow up to the size of an adult you will be able to save yourself by standing.

    You walked into that one like a drunk near a creek so don't blame me.
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