In case you missed the last thrilling season, the Yawnisters - led by Ser Cameron - came upon an unexpected victory, yet not long after, upon hearing he'd never see his fair EU again, Ser Cameron cast himself out of a tall tower leaving the Four Kingdoms to the mercies of TerMay Yawnister (cue dramatic music). The Starkravingmads, led by Ser Ed Miliband, came a cropper when young Ser Ed - what he lacked in brawn he made up for by his lack of wits - cast a great statue depicting his future deeds. Alas said great statue had a base of clay, and poor Ser Ed was crushed something awful beneath it (cue a wark-wark-wark noise), leaving their forces in disarray at the Battle of Dimbleby. And finally the Boreons, juggled by Ser Clegg, paid for their many betrayals by being almost wiped out. (cue the floppy-weiner, floppy-weiner theme) Current status is only the Tories are actually taking the election seriously. Realising they had a leader short on brain and spine, they've adopted a stance of having her parrot her lines and avoiding any possibility of proper debate on the basis of "better to keep your mouth shut and people think you're stupid rather than open it and remove all doubt." This has been very successful in that she's somehow become a popular leader. I mean, given the alternatives I can appreciate her being the most popular of the choices, but her ratings certainly don't match her actions. But the Daily Heilers, godbothers and "I-don't-vote-Tory-but-I-Do"'s are all locked in, and with Brexit it in the bag the UKIP thorn is out of the side and looking to soak up votes from working class Labour voters instead. They've even got Bojo to shut up unless unleashed, I can only assume they've a cabinet full of children's DNA tests he's been made aware of, and silence is better than having to shell out the annual GDP of Africa on a monthly basis to a small army of his bastards. And the shutting up stuff seems to be working, the other leaders aren't shutting up and maybe should, they'd likely lose less votes that way. Labour have tried to stop fighting amongst themselves long enough to commit electoral suicide - they're still battling over who represents what seat whilst the Tories are leafleting (all parties have made a few missteps, but Labour are actually reloading as there still remains bits of foot not yet shot off) - although this is expected due to the Resurrection of the Trots, an 80's comeback nobody wanted. They're not interested in winning elections, they want a revolution maaaaaan. Think a bunch of perma-students who can parrot off Marx, Engels and Zedong, but can't construct an argument or boil an egg. Real bright fucking sparks. And they've still not quite grasped that rape is wrong either, 30 fucking years and all they've done is vomit up Cro-Magnon Man with a hammer and sickle flag. And they wondered how the antediluvian 70's and 80's police managed to infiltrate them, yeah, real curious that. The LibDems are almost having a resurrection, alas Tim Farron, their leader, spent what felt like 40 days and 40 nights in the wilderness deciding if man-on-man buttsecks was a sin or not. He's a commited Christian, but a somewhat more committed politican, so gave a rather unconvincing response that no, he didn't think it sinful. He's a got a good record in voting for equal rights, but I suspect his local congregation watch the news more than they read up on how he voted and that was very much in his mind. They're hoping to get the Remain areas, but since even a lot of Remainers just want to get the Brexit pain over and done with it may not be the vote winner Timmy thinks. There's also the fact that by actually being in government a lot of LibDems felt betrayed. They didn't vote LibDem to see them in power, they voted LibDem because they liked the idea of higher taxes to pay for things, but not the actualite of it. That kind of thing could seriously dent the family holidays to Italy, the pilates classes and reassuringly expensive wines sank on a Saturday evening, so voting LibDem squared that circle. Those votes have now wandered over to the Greens, and I'm unsure they'll head back. And UKIP... Farage, like a big, fat toxic toad shitting in a dinky pond, casts his shadow. No longer leader, no now they've got someone who looks like a thug and speaks like an imbecile after Farage acted to remove the first leader to replace him. It was like House of Cards had it been written by Stephanie Meyer. So, yes, looking like a Tory win with them extending their majority, and with Labour still having an existential crisis, it's also looking like a mix of the Tory Awkward Squad and the more left-leaning media outlets will be the actual opposition. At this point I think I'd cheerfully discard democracy for a few years and have the bloody Queen rule, that might focus a few minds. End of the TL;DR!