Law-abiding fleshlight owner here

Discussion in 'The Red Room' started by Rimjob Bob, Dec 11, 2018.

  1. Rimjob Bob

    Rimjob Bob Fruitloop Actual

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    I've been wanting to try one of these for years, and last month I did.

    If you heat it and use generous lube, it does more or less feel like a vagina. But it turns out, vaginas aren't much fun if not attached to a human body. The device is cumbersome to hold in one hand, it makes a lot of unattractive sucking noises as you use it, and it's annoying to clean afterward. My left hand a decent bottle of lube work far better.

    Waste of $50. Think I can sell it used?
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  2. spot261

    spot261 George "The Animal" Steele tribute act

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    I prefer your left hand too sweetie
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  3. oldfella1962

    oldfella1962 light & lethal

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    Well you can use a DIY version with common household items. The internet is full of "how to" articles - but since none are (supposedly) as good as the Fleshlight and you already spent the money anyway, you might as well put on your thinking cap and find ways to make it better. Just sayin'
  4. Fisherman's Worf

    Fisherman's Worf Hamachi is a fish best served cold

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    Is it dishwasher safe?
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  5. oldfella1962

    oldfella1962 light & lethal

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    and microwaveable? Full Metal Jacket movie claims "eskimo pussy is mighty cold!"
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  6. matthunter

    matthunter Antira

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    So, any techie peeps here? Got an idea - a silicone sheet that has some form of gadget in it that forms an electrical circuit when both sides are touched by a wet object. Say, on one side, a human tongue, and on the other, a human clitoris (a real one, not Flashlight).

    You place said sheet over her nethers and proceed to tongue the other side of it, the electrical current giving her an added thrill. We could call it the Tonguepad or the Sex Sheet.

    Is this technically feasible and, if so, anyone wanna partner on it?

    If I see any copyright theft, electrical current through YOUR nethers will NOT be enjoyable.
  7. tafkats

    tafkats That'll put marzipan in your pie plate, bingo! Moderator

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    The paramedics would be dining out on that story for years.
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  8. Ancalagon

    Ancalagon outta my way Administrator Formerly Important

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    According to Sarah Silverman you are supposed to wedge it between the mattress and box spring and then hump it.
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  9. oldfella1962

    oldfella1962 light & lethal

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    According to oldfella you are supposed to wedge Sarah Silverman between the mattress and box spring and then hump her. :D
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  10. Bickendan

    Bickendan Custom Title Administrator Faceless Mook Writer

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    Um, yeah, back about 10 years ago, I saw a discussion/ad for PC tower peripheral that took up one of the 5.25" bays (think CD/DVD drive) with a male and a female component. You install them, dial up to the partner, inserted yourself, and she'd dock on her end, and the internet connection would simulate the, uh, action.
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  11. spot261

    spot261 George "The Animal" Steele tribute act

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    Right up until your connection, uh..., "went down".....
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  12. spot261

    spot261 George "The Animal" Steele tribute act

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    I just had to google who she is.....

    All I can say is....wow.

    I didn't know they made people that beautiful
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  13. Tererun

    Tererun Magical Girl

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    This is the strangest callout thread I have seen in a while.
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  14. Federal Farmer

    Federal Farmer Anti-Federalist

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    You need to put duct tape over her mouth first.
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  15. spot261

    spot261 George "The Animal" Steele tribute act

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    Not cool.
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  16. AlphaMan

    AlphaMan The North Remembers...

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    I... I don't know why I am in this thread. :unsure:
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  17. oldfella1962

    oldfella1962 light & lethal

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    you could call it the Silver Tongued Devil! You know, silver being a great electrical conductor & all that.
  18. Rimjob Bob

    Rimjob Bob Fruitloop Actual

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    Because you're in the market and you find my review helpful. No need to be shy. :yes:
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  19. The Flashlight

    The Flashlight Contributes nothing worthwhile

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    When I saw this thread, I thought to myself "might be worth a chuckle or two" if someone could come up with an decent insult or two.

    Instead, we get this lame fail from butthunter.

    Pathetic. :rolleyes:
  20. Spaceturkey

    Spaceturkey you can't spell hatred without "red hat"

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    Everyone on the board has owned fleshlight at some point.

    He's like a communal cumsock.
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  21. tafkats

    tafkats That'll put marzipan in your pie plate, bingo! Moderator

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    Ewwwww.
  22. Tererun

    Tererun Magical Girl

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    Do you think wf could get their money back considering he is obviously A factory defect?
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  23. Diacanu

    Diacanu Comicmike. Writer

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    :shock:

    *Slap!*
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  24. ed629

    ed629 Morally Inept Banned

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    If you're creative enough, you could make your own out of household items.
  25. spot261

    spot261 George "The Animal" Steele tribute act

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    Your own Sarah Silverman?
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  26. oldfella1962

    oldfella1962 light & lethal

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    that's what I said - designs & directions are all over the internet......or so I've heard.
  27. oldfella1962

    oldfella1962 light & lethal

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    I wish! I'd never leave the house again.
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  28. spot261

    spot261 George "The Animal" Steele tribute act

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    Even if she was made from bleach bottles, cutlery and sticky tape?
  29. Tererun

    Tererun Magical Girl

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    as long as she cannot say no and has hooters @oldfella1962 is there
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  30. oldfella1962

    oldfella1962 light & lethal

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    I don't think any straight male would turn down Sarah Silverman. That said I'm not a hooters fan - hooters should match a woman's frame size but that's about it for me.
    As for Hooters the restaurant no thanks - way better places to eat with cuter servers. Nearly every restaurant I frequent has a least a couple of cutey-pies working there.
    Okay maybe not Waffle House as a rule.