Oldest Known Fragment of the New Testament Found

Discussion in 'The Red Room' started by Tuckerfan, Jan 23, 2015.

  1. K.

    K. Sober

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    You know, even if the architects were Egyptian, can we afford these Pyramid builders some basic respect for first grade geometry and arithmetics?
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  2. garamet

    garamet "The whole world is watching."

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    It's amazing how many "Christians" have never actually read the bible. Numbers 1:45-46 puts the number of adult males (those 20 years of age and over) at a precise 603,550.

    So you're not counting women and anyone under age 20. Factor in multiple wives and concubines and their offspring and extrapolate. You're going to come up with well over one million.

    Even a population of 603,550 walking around in circles for 40 years would have left some trace of their presence.

    Now, make sure to say "But Tuckerfan said exactly 2.5 million, so he lied." :bailey:
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  3. Dayton3

    Dayton3 Wonderful, Loving Husband & Father

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    The point is, you cannot criticize the Bible for something it DOES NOT SAY.

    Like those people who claimed "The Bible says the world was created 6,000 years ago".
  4. garamet

    garamet "The whole world is watching."

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    Then let's criticize it for what it does say. Do you believe 603,550 adult males - along with an indeterminate number of their women, children, and slaves - were lost in the desert for 40 years?

    :waiting:
    Last edited: Jan 25, 2015
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  5. Diacanu

    Diacanu Comicmike. Writer

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    Yes I can.
    God apparently thought graven images were more important than rape and child molestation when he set down the ten commandments.
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  6. Bickendan

    Bickendan Custom Title Administrator Faceless Mook Writer

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    Well, there is that pram sticking through the wall where Platform 9 3/4 would be...
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  7. Tuckerfan

    Tuckerfan BMF Staff Member Moderator

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    1.) If you're going to adhere to the idea that you have to accept only what the Bible says exactly as it says it, then you've got huge problems. Not the least of which because there's so many different conflicting versions of the Bible. Even the oldest manuscripts we have, disagree with one another in spots. How do you know which one is the correct one? (And why did God allow it all to become such a jumbled mess?)
    2.) Had the Bible included just two simple things, it could have saved billions of lives over the centuries. The first is that one should never drink water which hadn't recently been boiled (as that would kill all microorganisms in it and prevent disease). The second is how to dig a proper sewage system. This also would have helped save billions of lives by preventing the spread of disease. If God so loved His People, why didn't he teach them about that while Moses was up there on the mount?
    3.) If you've got 600K+ men wandering around in the desert for 40 years, the population isn't going to be able to maintain itself, and by the time they get to the "Promised Land," there's going to be significantly fewer of them.
    4.) The amount of gay sex they'd be having would be rampant. Because as difficult as it is for you to grasp, most people like sex, and sooner or later, if they're denied it, they're going to opt for whatever hole might be available. It could be a camel, goat, sheep, or their buddy Malkiel. (And that's whether Malkiel's in the mood or not.)
    5.) The historical record is pretty clear, if you put a bunch of men together, they're going to fight and kill one another. If they find women (say when they got to the "Promised Land"), they're going to fight even more, and there's a good chance that women will get ripped to shreds (in addition to being raped to death) when it happens.
    6.) Do you honestly think that a loving God would do such a thing? Or allow it to happen?
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  8. garamet

    garamet "The whole world is watching."

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  9. gturner

    gturner Banned

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    Lewis and Clark covered about 8,000 miles in 2 1/2 years, crossing large rivers and the Rocky Mountains. In 40 years of wandering the Jews should have ended up in Sweden, Bangladesh, Thailand, Siberia, or Botswana, but instead they only make it an hour and a half (by car) up the road, to the place they knew they were heading the whole time, right up the coast from Egypt, where they had started out.

    The worst part is that after generations of living in Egypt, none of the Jews ever got to see the major tourist attractions, such as the pyramids or the Sphinx, even though everyone in Egypt would've known about the monuments that were already over a thousand years old. So the question isn't whether millions of Jews had lived in Egypt, the question is whether even one Jew had ever been there on a tourist bus. The answer is "apparently not."
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  10. Diacanu

    Diacanu Comicmike. Writer

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    God put them in a "Blair Witch", warp.
    And he swept up all their footprints, and picked up all their litter.
  11. NotDayton

    NotDayton Wonderful, Loving Husband & Father

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    Who are you to question your God?
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  12. garamet

    garamet "The whole world is watching."

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    That does seem to challenge the authenticity of the Book of Beowulf you cited above. :yes:
  13. garamet

    garamet "The whole world is watching."

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    See, that's where Jews are superior to Christians. Even a milkman can question God:
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tevye
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  14. NotDayton

    NotDayton Wonderful, Loving Husband & Father

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  15. gturner

    gturner Banned

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    It snowed five inches here Friday evening, and my housemates ran out and made a very nice snowman, about 5' 6" tall, with a carrot nose and bottle cap eyes and buttons. By Saturday he was tilting over at about a 20 degree angle, so we straightened him back up. This morning when I left for work he was dead. Fell plum over - busted. When I got home an hour ago he was perfectly fine again.

    So I knocked on my housemate's door and screamed "HE IS RISEN!!!!! JESUS HAS RETURNED AS A SNOWMAN!!!!"
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  16. garamet

    garamet "The whole world is watching."

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    Your God is aware of that. He wants you to know it's gonna go on your permanent record.

    When do you intend to answer Post #64 and Post #67?
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  17. NotDayton

    NotDayton Wonderful, Loving Husband & Father

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    Which posts were they? Do you mind repeating them?
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  18. Man Afraid of his Shoes

    Man Afraid of his Shoes كافر

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    <cough>that's NotDayton</cough.
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  19. garamet

    garamet "The whole world is watching."

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    ^Aw, jeez! First time he's caught me... :doh:
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  20. Lanzman

    Lanzman Vast, Cool and Unsympathetic Formerly Important

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    :rofl:
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  21. ed629

    ed629 Morally Inept Banned

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    You got "NotDaytoned"!
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  22. gturner

    gturner Banned

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    I think this confirms the Israelis' covenant with God.
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  23. ed629

    ed629 Morally Inept Banned

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    If he doesn't believe in God, then he he isn't his god. And who says that he can't be questioned? In fact who are you to impose what you believe onto someone else?

    And how does anyone know that when Moses was given the commandments he wasn't dreaming and got some of that shit wrong? Hell, if I heard a voice telling me what I could and couldn't do while fucking around on a mountain top I'd be probably be all "Holy Shit!! What the fuck was that?!?!", and at that point I'd probably miss half the shit that was being said. There's only one dude that supposedly heard what the commandments were, how does anyone know if he got it right or made it up? Especially if that same dude was making a piss poor job of getting people through the desert, I'd think he was caught midwank and made it up to sound better than the dude that caught him wanking.
  24. oldfella1962

    oldfella1962 light & lethal

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    The original "Million Man March!" If it turned out anything like these days it was more like a "Dozen Man March."
    BTW who the hell comes up with a number of exactly 603,550? :huh:
    You're telling me that 603,550 men are going to stay in one place sequestered and orderly and quiet with nobody running off to use the bathroom while one person counts them? Maybe they stood in one huge fucking straight line with their hands on the shoulders of the guy in front of them and sounded off with "one!" "two!" three!"........"fifteen thousand six hundred and two!" etc.etc. :lol:

    The best IMO example of embellishment/outright bullshit is when Samson
    killed 2,000 enemy soldiers with the jawbone of an ass. :facepalm:
    Again, try to visualize this. All I can think of is a Bruce Lee movie. Five people just came at him
    one at a time and got knocked out but fuckers are dumb enough to keep coming at him and getting knocked out?
    2,000 enemy and not one of them can gather a sword - bow and arrow - knife - pointed stick - rocks
    while he continues his deadly jawbone attack? :brood:

    Put that shit to the test on Myth Busters! I bet the strongest man on the planet can't
    even knock out 5 soldiers of any nation before he gets his stomped into jelly. :jayzus:
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  25. oldfella1962

    oldfella1962 light & lethal

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    But Moses couldn't get it wrong because god burned the commandments into the stone tablets.
    No doubt at first Moses said "Dude! I don't have a pen on me! I can't remember all this - help me out here!"
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  26. ed629

    ed629 Morally Inept Banned

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    But who can prove it was God..... we just have Moses telling us that. He could have made that shit up.
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  27. oldfella1962

    oldfella1962 light & lethal

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    Impossible! Has any religion got a jump start from one person going off secretly into the boondocks and
    coming back with the godly truth? :?:
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  28. Man Afraid of his Shoes

    Man Afraid of his Shoes كافر

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    This is true. He was a murderer and a fugitive. Those types usually can't be trusted. :bailey:
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  29. oldfella1962

    oldfella1962 light & lethal

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    But Moses turned his life around! He pulled himself up by his own boot straps unlike these lazy bums these days.
  30. Man Afraid of his Shoes

    Man Afraid of his Shoes كافر

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    I imagine when God wrote "Thou shalt not kill.", he probably punctuated it with, "I'm lookin' at you Moe." and did that thing with his fingers.
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