Discussion in 'The Green Room' started by actormike, Sep 7, 2006.
"Everywhere you go,
There you are."
"Louis? I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship."
Like a midget at a urinal, I was going to have to stay on my toes!
Lt. Gorman: Any questions?
[Hudson raises hand]
Lt Gorman: What is it, Hicks?
Hudson: Hudson, sir. He's Hicks.
Lt Gorman: What's the question, private?
Hudson: How do I get outta this chicken shit outfit?
Rep for whoever identifies this movie. Names will be removed in the quotes to protect the innocent.
Person1: "How is Arizona not on the water?"
Person2: "See that gray area? That's not the ocean, it's Mexico."
Person1: "Still!? What the hell was the Alamo for then?!"
Mitch: True love is hard to find, sometimes you think you have true love and then you catch the early flight home from San Diego and a couple of nude people jump out of your bathroom blindfolded like a goddamn magic show ready to double team your girlfriend...
Here's another hint.
What’s happening? I got your letter today. Cornhole Academy sounds like it really sucks the big one. I can’t believe they make everyone work a lot and no smoke. You should tell that piece of shit, Thunderturd, to shove it. You didn’t want to go there in the first place. Eat shit, man. Today you should’ve seen me and Mousy today at school today. We got cocked on a pint of blackberry brandy, ate some THC on the bus. We were fucked! This teacher, Mr. Rivera, goes, “What’s wrong with you, Delaney?” I go, “I’m totally FUCKED, man!” Everybody laughed like a bastard. Oh, man, you should, you should see this song I’m listenin’ to. It’s called ‘Don’t bogart that joint, my friend.’ I think it’s by a group called…
This is a couple of hours later. Must have nodded out, man.
I gotta go ‘cause I probably definitely gonna nod out again. Want me to send you some squeef, or you got enough? Good luck not getting caught.
-Cocked in Rhode Island,
"Three days ago, I saw a rig that'll haul that tanker. You want out of here? You come to me."
Barry: I can't believe Glenn bringing Statwiler over like that.
Barry: Because he boffed Hendricks last week!
Joel: He did?
Barry: Yes! And after the game on Saturday, he fucked her.
Joel: Boffing and fucking are the same thing.
Barry: They are?
Joel: [laughing] Yes. What did you think it was?
Barry: I thought it was something else. You're sure on this?
Joel: I'm positive.
- Risky Business
Randal: Why haven't you fucked Myra yet?
Elias: Well we can't because of Pillow Pants.
Randal: What the fuck's Pillow Pants?
Elias: Pillow Pants is a little troll that lives in her pussy.
Elias: Pillow Pants is her pussy troll?
Elias: Duh. You know how every girl's parents put a pussy troll in them when the girls are young, to keep them from having premarital sex?
Elias: Well Myra's is named Pillow Pants. And so even though she totally wants to have sex with me, Myra says that if I put my... thing in her, Pillow Pants will bite it off. So, I gotta wait until Pillow Pants get peed out of her body on her 21st birthday before we can have sex.
Randal: And Myra told you this?
Elias: Boyfriends and girlfriends talk to each other about sex stuff Randal. You'd know this if you ever had a girlfriend.
Randal: Have you and Myra even kissed yet?
Elias: We would have if it weren't for Listerfiend.
Randal: Listerfiend is her mouth troll, isn't it?
Teen: You guys holdin'?
Jay: Shit, everything but coke, heroine and your cock.
Roses are red,
Violets are blue.
I'm a scizophrenic,
And so am I.
Separate names with a comma.