Or I am! Mary sneezes a lot. Not alergies or anything, like she says, "it's just my nose." And for some reason, she runs water a lot. Feeding the dog, filling her water dish, making lunch, whatever. I can never tell when or why, it just happens randomly. These events, I find, are generally timed to coincide with any time I need to get her attention from across the house. To whit: Saturday, sitting at my computer. The washer & dryer are in the basement directly under me. I hear the sound of an unbalanced load about to make the machine take a walk across the cellar. Mary is in the kitchen across the house, near the cellar stairs, where she could get to it quicker than me. if I yell moderately loud, she should have no trouble at all hearing me. Me: "Mare, I---" Mary: sneezes four times in a row, loudly. Me: "The wash---" Mary: Blows nose loudly. Me: "Mar --" Mary: Blows a second time to clean it out real good (she has such a dainty nose, how much can be in there!?). Washing machine: "rumble clunk" Me: "Hello--" Mary: turns the kitchen faucet on and washes her hands. Thoroughly. Twice. Me: 'MAAARYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!" Mary (Annoyed at my tone of voice): "WHAT!? WHAT!? What do you want?!" Washing machine: "Bang! Clunk!" Me: "Would you--" Mary: "Wait, wait, the washing machine is unbalanced" (runs down stairs). Mary: (fixes washer, runs back upstairs): "Now what were you yelling about that I have to run all the way back here for?" I swear, some day I'll be trying to yell "Get out! The house is on fire" or "Run! There's a bear about to eat your head!" or "Shoot! Shoot him now or we're all dead!" and she'll miss it all 'cause she's blowing her nose.