Some people just need TO FUCKING DIE!

Discussion in 'The Red Room' started by Ancalagon, Jul 3, 2008.

  1. Ancalagon

    Ancalagon outta my way Administrator Formerly Important

    Joined:
    Mar 29, 2004
    Messages:
    40,994
    Location:
    Downtown
    Ratings:
    +27,493
    Okay so a strange cat walks into your yard. Your dogs attack it. You get them off but instead of running, it just hunkers down and starts meowing. You don't see a collar, so just leave it alone hoping it will go away.


    You notice a woman is walking around the block shaking a bag of treats, meowing, and calling out 'Pandora.' An hour later someone else pulls up and joins here. An hour after that they start going door to door giving a description and their number. You are on your back porch and don't bother to get up. They leave a note. As they are walking to the next house you say loud enough that they can hear "It's just the people looking for their cat."


    What do you do?

    A) Call Animal Control

    OR

    B) Get the couple that have been wandering the neighborhood FOR THREE FUCKING HOURS NOW AND STILL ARE and ask if it might be theirs.



    Not a trick question people, which one would you do?






    Also when the guy finally wades through THIRTY FUCKING METERS of briars and looks into your yard, sees the cat and sends his fiance over there to you have the fucking nerve to say that the cat was acting weird AND YOU WERE ON THE PHONE WITH ANIMAL CONTROL? Do you then let your bitch say "WE HEARD YOU AND THOUGHT IT MIGHT BE YOUR CAT BUT DIDN'T KNOW?!?!" :ualbert:


    That fucking assholes and cunt are lucky I didn't go inside and change but went straight to looking b/c otherwise I'd be carrying and this story might have a different ending! :sniper:
  2. Aenea

    Aenea .

    Joined:
    Sep 10, 2006
    Messages:
    6,085
    Ratings:
    +5,871
    :unsure: Who are you calling the cunt?
    • Agree Agree x 1
  3. Ancalagon

    Ancalagon outta my way Administrator Formerly Important

    Joined:
    Mar 29, 2004
    Messages:
    40,994
    Location:
    Downtown
    Ratings:
    +27,493
    The man and his wife that let an injured cat sit in their backyard, knowing full well a) it was there and b) people were looking for it FOR FUCKING HOURS, and did nothing until they decided to call animal control. :mad:
    • Agree Agree x 1
  4. Veleno

    Veleno Fresh Meat

    Joined:
    Jun 21, 2008
    Messages:
    143
    Location:
    Southern Illinois
    Ratings:
    +47
    I would just be a good social person and ask the poor, worried woman if the cat was hers and hand it to her. Problem solved in less than 5 minutes with no angst or heart stress.

    Methinks you need mucho therapy to reintegrate yourself into polite society, killer.
  5. Storm

    Storm Plausibly Undeniable

    Joined:
    Mar 30, 2004
    Messages:
    13,088
    Ratings:
    +2,050

    Szechuan stir fry.

    :bergman:
    • Agree Agree x 1
  6. Ramen

    Ramen Banned

    Joined:
    Mar 28, 2004
    Messages:
    26,115
    Location:
    FL
    Ratings:
    +16,605
    Nothing a saucer of milk and cyanide can't remedy.
    • Agree Agree x 1
  7. Aenea

    Aenea .

    Joined:
    Sep 10, 2006
    Messages:
    6,085
    Ratings:
    +5,871
    But it sounded like it was in your back yard by your story. :unsure:

    :shrug: can't blame me .......:?:

    :sniper: is my solution. :D
    • Agree Agree x 2
  8. Ancalagon

    Ancalagon outta my way Administrator Formerly Important

    Joined:
    Mar 29, 2004
    Messages:
    40,994
    Location:
    Downtown
    Ratings:
    +27,493
    Pandora is MY CAT!


    I was phrasing the post to show the complete idiocy and assholishness of my neighbors! :mad:
  9. Aenea

    Aenea .

    Joined:
    Sep 10, 2006
    Messages:
    6,085
    Ratings:
    +5,871
    Well it worked to make you sound like an asshole. :D

    :techman:

    :lol:
    • Agree Agree x 3
  10. Storm

    Storm Plausibly Undeniable

    Joined:
    Mar 30, 2004
    Messages:
    13,088
    Ratings:
    +2,050



    You have a cat?


    :rotfl:


    :bergman:
    • Agree Agree x 3
  11. Veleno

    Veleno Fresh Meat

    Joined:
    Jun 21, 2008
    Messages:
    143
    Location:
    Southern Illinois
    Ratings:
    +47
    Ummm...we are just talking about a little kitty that wandered off and a kitty mommy looking for her baby? You folks need re-education and therapy to re-integrate with American society if you don't want to live in the bad parts of town and want to join country clubs and golf teams.
  12. oldfella1962

    oldfella1962 light & lethal

    Joined:
    Nov 28, 2004
    Messages:
    70,335
    Location:
    Georgia, USA
    Ratings:
    +26,402
    Yes, I had to read it twice to get the gist.
    Your neighbor was harboring the cat, apparently dumb to the fact that unless it was some incredible coincidence, the loose cat was indeed the missing cat. :bash:

    Yes, you have to wonder how some people manage to tie their own shoes.

    This kind of thing happens in our neighborhood a lot, and luckily everybody cooperates with each other.
    • Agree Agree x 1
  13. Ancalagon

    Ancalagon outta my way Administrator Formerly Important

    Joined:
    Mar 29, 2004
    Messages:
    40,994
    Location:
    Downtown
    Ratings:
    +27,493
    WHAT THA. FUCK. ARE YOU SMOKING!?!?! :wtf:



    Look, I already connected the dots for you that IT WAS MY CAT I SPENT OVER TWO HOURS LOOKING FOR (Fiance almost 4) and the situation in the OP is given from the Asshole Neighbors perspective.

    What more can I do?!?!
    • Agree Agree x 1
  14. Aenea

    Aenea .

    Joined:
    Sep 10, 2006
    Messages:
    6,085
    Ratings:
    +5,871
    You are cute when you are rilled.

    :wub:
  15. Ancalagon

    Ancalagon outta my way Administrator Formerly Important

    Joined:
    Mar 29, 2004
    Messages:
    40,994
    Location:
    Downtown
    Ratings:
    +27,493
    I hope you realize I am calming myself down by drinking the beer I had packed for your husband. :bergman:









    (I came straight home from work, and am now on 24 hour kitty watch. No chance to go to the store today.)















    Seriously though, would the situation not piss you off as well?!?! :huh:
    • Agree Agree x 1
  16. Storm

    Storm Plausibly Undeniable

    Joined:
    Mar 30, 2004
    Messages:
    13,088
    Ratings:
    +2,050


    Get rid of the fucking cat.

    :bergman:
    • Agree Agree x 3
  17. Aenea

    Aenea .

    Joined:
    Sep 10, 2006
    Messages:
    6,085
    Ratings:
    +5,871

    lol

    I won't tell him.

    :bergman:

    :calli: no wine for you then. :ramen:
  18. Ancalagon

    Ancalagon outta my way Administrator Formerly Important

    Joined:
    Mar 29, 2004
    Messages:
    40,994
    Location:
    Downtown
    Ratings:
    +27,493


    Should I just walk up to her, kick her in the tchatch, spit in her face and tell her I slept with her mother and sister as well?!?!?


    Either way, I'm not gonna come out well. :calli:
  19. Veleno

    Veleno Fresh Meat

    Joined:
    Jun 21, 2008
    Messages:
    143
    Location:
    Southern Illinois
    Ratings:
    +47
    Take a breath, calm down. Its not worth slaughtering innocents over, even if you don't perceive them to be uninnocent. The cat will come home. They always do if they like their home. If they don't, they move on. They aren't dogs that will stay no matter how badly you treat them, they are like women and go where they like it best. You can't make them stay unless you chain them up or cage them.
  20. Storm

    Storm Plausibly Undeniable

    Joined:
    Mar 30, 2004
    Messages:
    13,088
    Ratings:
    +2,050


    You haven't?

    Fag.

    :bergman:
    • Agree Agree x 1
  21. Ancalagon

    Ancalagon outta my way Administrator Formerly Important

    Joined:
    Mar 29, 2004
    Messages:
    40,994
    Location:
    Downtown
    Ratings:
    +27,493
    Hey! It's not my fault. It's not my fault!




    But seriously, I'll pick some up sometime over this holiday and all things going well have it in the mail Monday.
  22. Aenea

    Aenea .

    Joined:
    Sep 10, 2006
    Messages:
    6,085
    Ratings:
    +5,871
    uh huh......You just keep to your story about how it got lost in the mail....


    It'll work!!!!!!!!!11
  23. Storm

    Storm Plausibly Undeniable

    Joined:
    Mar 30, 2004
    Messages:
    13,088
    Ratings:
    +2,050

    Get yourself some tampons while you're at the store, too.

    :bergman:
  24. Ancalagon

    Ancalagon outta my way Administrator Formerly Important

    Joined:
    Mar 29, 2004
    Messages:
    40,994
    Location:
    Downtown
    Ratings:
    +27,493
    We've already got the cat, took it to the pet emergency clinic, got it taken care of and had a $420 bill shoved up my ass.


















    The only consolation is that I now have a cat high as hell, with a cone on its head, walking around running into things. :ramen:
  25. Ancalagon

    Ancalagon outta my way Administrator Formerly Important

    Joined:
    Mar 29, 2004
    Messages:
    40,994
    Location:
    Downtown
    Ratings:
    +27,493
    Actually, I'm going with 'checking for poison.' :bergman:
  26. Aenea

    Aenea .

    Joined:
    Sep 10, 2006
    Messages:
    6,085
    Ratings:
    +5,871
    Pictures!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!







    and Video. :ramen:

    Now. :mad:




    Tease :(
  27. Ancalagon

    Ancalagon outta my way Administrator Formerly Important

    Joined:
    Mar 29, 2004
    Messages:
    40,994
    Location:
    Downtown
    Ratings:
    +27,493
    I was about to explain to you that somehow I fucked up and ended up with a woman taller and meaner than me, and that you wouldn't understand...





    .... and then I realized that that was your whole life.




    :finger:
    • Agree Agree x 4
  28. Veleno

    Veleno Fresh Meat

    Joined:
    Jun 21, 2008
    Messages:
    143
    Location:
    Southern Illinois
    Ratings:
    +47
    That's just plain teenager stupid. If my old lady kicked me in the balls while I was asleep this morning, she'd be sleeping in the county jail tonight, duh. I think they call this thing "assault". Its a felony in the US.

    Mandantory 3-5 in Federal prison, baby.
  29. Ancalagon

    Ancalagon outta my way Administrator Formerly Important

    Joined:
    Mar 29, 2004
    Messages:
    40,994
    Location:
    Downtown
    Ratings:
    +27,493
    The Folly Pack I'm sending doesn't have Sunshine, but it does have a limited release Organic Wheat called 'Mothership Whit.'

    To be honest for all the different New Belgium brews they have out here, I have yet to actually find Sunshine, and that and Fat Tire are what got me hooked out in Jackson. Those are the only two I'd seen for about 5 years.
  30. Aenea

    Aenea .

    Joined:
    Sep 10, 2006
    Messages:
    6,085
    Ratings:
    +5,871
    :mad: :ua:

    Bastard!!!!

    I forgive you. :blush:

    I haven't had a Sunshine in forever. :Pout:
    • Agree Agree x 1