Stoner Showdown: UA -vs- Spaceturkey...

Discussion in 'The Red Room' started by Volpone, Sep 24, 2013.

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Who would win in a fight: Spaceturkey or Uncle Albert?

  1. Uncle Albert

    40.0%
  2. Spaceturkey

    20.0%
  3. No matter who wins, we lose.

    50.0%
Multiple votes are allowed.
  1. Volpone

    Volpone Zombie Hunter

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    In the one corner, the bald, stocky ginger from Omaha, in the other corner, the lanky long-haired alternative Canuck. At any given time both of them could be high as a kite. Which makes their apparent rage for each other all the more odd. I thought potheads were mellow?

    Anyway, who do you think wins in a fight? Can a leather jacket be used to keep you from being run over by a bike on the sidewalk? Place your bets!
    • Agree Agree x 4
  2. Clyde

    Clyde Orange

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    UA wins hands down, beserker rage beats passive/aggressive whining every day of the week and twice on Sundays!
    • Agree Agree x 2
  3. gul

    gul Revolting Beer Drinker Administrator Formerly Important

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    Clyde is an expert at passive aggressive whining, so he may well have the right take on this. But I'm surprised the poll didn't include a Rocky II option -- mutual knockdown, the rest of Wordforge wins!
    • Agree Agree x 4
  4. Clyde

    Clyde Orange

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    Well yeah, but RickDeckard thinks you're cool! Plus you get to carry Ancalagon's water! :techman:
    • Agree Agree x 3
  5. gul

    gul Revolting Beer Drinker Administrator Formerly Important

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    It's funny. Try as you might, you just can't get anybody to be angry with your clumsy pokes. This thread is a good illustration of how successful some are at this. Turkey pretty much effortlessly turns Albert in to a drooling sack of rage. But you aren't there. Maybe another week off to consider your posting style is in order?
    • Agree Agree x 4
  6. Clyde

    Clyde Orange

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    Ha! I own you gul, you dance when I tell you to!

    :dancingbacon:

    Another week off? Explain yourself.
  7. Stallion

    Stallion Team Euro!

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    While Spaceturkey has his knife disarming special move, you can't discout UA's attack handbag dog of hell!
    • Agree Agree x 6
  8. Clyde

    Clyde Orange

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    Notice the meltdown spillover?
    • Agree Agree x 1
  9. Clyde

    Clyde Orange

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    Insofar as Ancalagon is code for "tea-bag fairy" yes, yes it is.
  10. Spaceturkey

    Spaceturkey official beverage of antifa

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    He's got what? 80 lbs on me?

    Yeah, if I don't get hold of a squishy bit and a chance to choke him out in the first two minutes, I'm probably fucked.

    BTW Volp, have you ever been in a fight that wasn't a training session?
    • Agree Agree x 3
  11. Ancalagon

    Ancalagon outta my way Administrator Formerly Important

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    From the pics I'd guess about a buck twenty.

    And don't forget his double serrated spatula. Wielded from up on a bike at speed it's quite the potent weapon (although easily avoidable, just don't walk on the sidewalk).
    • Agree Agree x 1
  12. Clyde

    Clyde Orange

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    Honestly, if you two ever meet I suspect much nub will be puffed, plenty of barbequed food eaten, and some odd discussions about space submarines.

    But actually throwing down?

    Not so much.


    :bong:
    • Agree Agree x 2
  13. Spaceturkey

    Spaceturkey official beverage of antifa

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    see, there's the other thing. He's the one afflicted with rage. I'm more crippled by laughter.
  14. gul

    gul Revolting Beer Drinker Administrator Formerly Important

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    He usually wields the spatula in his underwear, which would tend to make his opponent lose focus.
    • Agree Agree x 2
  15. Spaceturkey

    Spaceturkey official beverage of antifa

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    sadly, giant gingers running around raging in their tighty whities is something I see around here on occasion.
    • Agree Agree x 2
  16. Lt. Mewa

    Lt. Mewa Rockefeller Center

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    'Don't wait for the translation! Answer the question!!!!!" :garamet:
  17. Uncle Albert

    Uncle Albert Beep/Bop/Boop

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    I'm far too delicate for violence. Garamet could stomp my ass.
    • Agree Agree x 1
  18. Lanzman

    Lanzman Vast, Cool and Unsympathetic Formerly Important

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    No offense to Spaceturkey, but I think Albert would mop the floor with him.
    • Agree Agree x 3
  19. garamet

    garamet "The whole world is watching."

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    :cartman:
    • Agree Agree x 1
  20. garamet

    garamet "The whole world is watching."

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    I once half-gelded a subway groper with a folding umbrella. :shrug:
    • Agree Agree x 3
  21. John Castle

    John Castle Banned Writer

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    What, you close it and he saw your face?
  22. Lt. Mewa

    Lt. Mewa Rockefeller Center

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    What is this stoner jazz??

    I bet there are more near-alcoholics here than stoners.

    There should be a least one Drunk Fight per week.

    But this tells me that Volpone thinks weed smokers are the same as heroin addicts. :garamet:
    • Agree Agree x 3
  23. garamet

    garamet "The whole world is watching."

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    Your balls fall off if you look at a woman's face? :unsure:
  24. Spaceturkey

    Spaceturkey official beverage of antifa

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    it's Volpone.
    are you really surprised he'd want to see UA conquer me while in his underwear?
    • Agree Agree x 1
  25. Mrs. Albert

    Mrs. Albert demented estrogen monster

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    not even close to a fair fight. UA is absurdly fucking strong. i'd bet on him against a guy who outweighed him by 50 pounds.
    • Agree Agree x 1
  26. Lt. Mewa

    Lt. Mewa Rockefeller Center

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    He's so strong he can't hold an egg without crushing it. D'UR! :ramen:
  27. Stallion

    Stallion Team Euro!

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    I'de agree, as long as the fight was conducted in UA's battleground - the interwebz! :ramen:
    • Agree Agree x 1
  28. Spaceturkey

    Spaceturkey official beverage of antifa

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    if it isn't to be a fair fight, then my odds just improved...
    to three minutes
    • Agree Agree x 1
  29. Uncle Albert

    Uncle Albert Beep/Bop/Boop

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    A "Solo" reference! Mewa watches shit movies!

    [yt=Couldn't find the scene with him crushing an egg]332kUtxSRls[/yt]
    • Agree Agree x 1
  30. Volpone

    Volpone Zombie Hunter

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    Are we talking Army strong or retard strong? :unsure:
    • Agree Agree x 1