Why don't they remake TOUR OF DUTY?

Discussion in 'Media Central' started by We Are Borg, Jun 12, 2019.

  1. We Are Borg

    We Are Borg Rey of sunshine

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    And this time, America wins!
  2. GhostEcho

    GhostEcho Christian Conservative (Republican)

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    Plot twist: It's actually set in the French and Indian War of 1754 to 1763!
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  3. GhostEcho

    GhostEcho Christian Conservative (Republican)

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    Plot Twist 2: A group of time-travelling First Nations Ultra-Nationalists from the year 7000 arrive and give the "bad guys" advanced weapons in order to change history.
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  4. GhostEcho

    GhostEcho Christian Conservative (Republican)

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    Plot Twist 3: The "bad guys" turn out to actually be a group of immortal Picts that moved to the New World in the 5th Century!
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  5. Paladin

    Paladin Overjoyed

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    Wow, this thing just kinda writes itself, doesn't it?
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  6. oldfella1962

    oldfella1962 light & lethal

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    Plot Twist 4: the whole she-bang takes place on Mars!
  7. Captain Conspiracy

    Captain Conspiracy Making Frogs Gay Again

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    Starring Daniel Day Lewis reprising his role as Long Rifle.
  8. Dayton3

    Dayton3 Wonderful, Loving Husband & Father

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    Vietnam War is over.

    Technically , the Korean War is not over.
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  9. Paladin

    Paladin Overjoyed

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    A name given him by the ladies.
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  10. Paladin

    Paladin Overjoyed

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    M*A*S*H: The Next Generation

    Millard Filmore Pierce, 70-year-old grandnephew of surgeon Hawkeye, and Jebediah Springfield McIntyre, 68-year-old grandson of surgeon Trapper, sit in a bar in the Florida Keys. Both are attired in beachwear with colorful hats.

    Pierce: "I hate this stupid war. I wish they would end this thing so we could all ho home." (downs very dry martini)

    McIntyre: "I miss my wife and daughter. I don't know if I'll ever see them again!"

    Pierce: "When will it finally end?!?"

    In walks 74-year-old Charles Emerson Winchester V, elegantly attired for a day at the beach.

    Winchester: "Gentlemen. I do hope we can wrap things up here quickly so that I may return to Tokyo."

    Pierce: "Bad news, Charles. Your flight was cancelled. You're stuck here."

    Winchester: "This is intolerable. I shall have my faaather pull some strings."

    McIntyre: "Your father's dead, Charles."

    Winchester: "Oh, right. I guess I'm stuck here then. What shall we do?"

    Pierce: "Spend the next 14 seasons talking about how much it sucks to be where we are?"

    McIntyre: "I'll drink to that."

    Winchester: "Oh, ye gods."

    They drink. Scene repeats continually for 14 more years.
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  11. oldfella1962

    oldfella1962 light & lethal

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    interesting......any idea why the ladies call me "sawed off?"
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  12. Dayton3

    Dayton3 Wonderful, Loving Husband & Father

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    excessive circumcision?
  13. oldfella1962

    oldfella1962 light & lethal

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    my doctor was drinking that day! :larry:
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  14. matthunter

    matthunter Good enough

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    Because you're so old only dust comes out? ;)
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  15. Spaceturkey

    Spaceturkey you can't spell hatred without "red hat"

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    no... but I heard about the hair trigger :(
  16. oldfella1962

    oldfella1962 light & lethal

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    still better than a "pop and no kick" though. Army folks will remember that often repeated phrase from their weapons training safety briefings.
  17. Spaceturkey

    Spaceturkey you can't spell hatred without "red hat"

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    if we're sticking to the metaphor, yeah... that's something you'd wanna see a doctor for.