Making Light of Exorcisms

I'm very sad that some Catholics seem to think it is cool to make fun of exorcism.

George Washington University's Newman Catholic Center is having an exorcist in for a night of questions. This is the real deal though - the priest who inspire The Rite is giving the talk.

Questions have been asked in advance, and I'm frustrated with some of them:

Seriously guys?

http://www.foboblo.com/2011/02/15/ask-an-exorcist-tonight-really/

What's wrong with the third question? Seems valid enough to me...

For my part, I'm frustrated with people who take "demonic possession" (and shit like that) seriously...

Ok, just read some of the questions at the link:

These are

These are

This one is just classic!!

Anecdotes of possessions have made for some intriguing premises, even iconic ones (like The Exorcist), but there hasn't been any documentation which would serve as reasonable, credible proof that some person was possessed by a personal supernatural force.

That all of the latter day incidences of (what would have at one time been called) possession have been explained by neurological science makes this topic pretty difficult to take seriously.

Hey, leave my girlfriend out of this!

Making fun of concepts like possession and exorcism is absolutely necessary. What's sad is that anyone would take them seriously.

I'm working on a device for self-exorcism. The possessed person sits on it and pedals. It's an exorcise bike.



My niece went thru an exorcism a few years ago. She seemed okay for a while, but then she started levitating the bed again. We think she was repossessed.

After ten years of paranormal investigations, I can truthfully say that the only demon I encountered was my ex-wife.

No exorcism could have cured her of her demonic tendencies.

I've seen it- up close and personal. Spend a little time in the ministry and eventually you run into these kind of situations.

Before you ask, here's what happened.

After church one night, I get a phone call from an ex-member from my church. He asks if I can come over to his house as his girlfriend is in a bad way. When I get there, I see a 30-year old woman, sitting on the couch, a bottle of vodka open, watching Benny Hinn on TBS with Christian rock music blaring at full blast. She's rocking on the couch, moaning. I start talking to her. She is angry and very agitated. I start dealing with her from the Bible.

She interrupts me and asks "Do you speak in tounges in your church?" I answer "no.

She demands "Do you believe in being slain in the Spirit?" I say "no".

She then says "Do you believe in praying in that church of yours?" I say "yes, we do". She then demands I pray and I do. Now I heard from other preachers that devils do not like mention of the blood of Christ (there are theological reasons for that). I deliberately make frequent mention of the blood of Christ in my prayer. Every time I do, she groans with a groan I've never heard from a woman. I've never heard truck drivers make that kind of noise before. She then demands I leave her house and starts yelling at me and cursing at me as I've never heard before.

Her boyfriend mentioned she had been like that for weeks and was getting worse and he was scared. I was so shaken, I went home and was visibly shaking. In 25 years of preaching, I've never seen anything like it and I hope I never see anything like it again.

And this is after you've ruled out any medical or psycho-emotional causes?

I've dealt with those before. I've dealt with all kinds, in the jails, rescue missions, counselling sessions- I've dealt with murderers, child molesters, rapists, drug runners, homeless men, drunks, people involved in adultery- all kinds of situations.

I've have never seen anything like I saw that night. My description pales as to what actually happened that night. All I'll say is that it was very unusual but was similar to what I've heard men more experienced in such things that I am describe.

I have a friend I knew since we were kids. Generally, we were both pretty skeptical people. We are christians, but never really thought too much of supernatural phenomenon, ghosts, or anything hokey like that.

He entered seminary to become a pastor, finished a few years ago, and took a road trip with us during my cousin's birthday last summer. We asked him about demon possession, and he said it was real. I was pretty surprised, coming from such a skeptic as himself. He claimed that there were exorcisms he attended, where 98 lb. weaklings would fling large, grown men across the room during the procedure. He's not the type to lie about these things, so I take it as either this shit is real, or it's still some unexplained phenomenon that maybe will eventually get explained by tests and experiments. Maybe, maybe not.

For those who don't believe in demon possession, do you believe in ghosts or aliens/UFOs?

PCP?!?

Could you elaborate further? What are the theological reasons for this?

What happened after? Did she finally get rid of whatever it was? Did you call more people to help?

I never saw her again. I didn't want to see her again. I have no idea what became of her- this was about 10 years ago.

Now I've been cussed at, threatened, assaulted and the like. I've dealt with some pretty rough characters. But that woman was something else. I've never been so scared and upset by anything or anyone in my life. It had to be something more than her just being a nutjob or on drugs. I could have dealt with that easily, as I have done many times before.

Not necessarily. The gospels have several incidents of devil possession. There are many physical symptoms related to it. One is unusual strength.

That explains Chuck Norris.

No one possess Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris cannot be exorcized.

Which brings up a deep theoligical question - can Chuck Norris kick his own ass?

That's like asking if God can create a rock too heavy for him to life.

Chuck Norris already knows the answer to that question.

Chuck Norris can also do math in the Red Room.

^

Well, at present, according to the rep-pip tags, only gul and Anna are Chuck Norris, and gul doesn't come around any more.

Let's get Anna to do some really wonderful math in the Red Room and test your theory.

Exorcism is total bullshit. That said, those questions are quite amusing!

So you just abandoned her?? You didn't even ask another pastor for help, or get the congregation to pray for the situation? What did you say to the guy?

"Sorry bro, I can't help you. It's the debbil. "

To be fair, Im pretty sure Bulldog is a cessationist.

And you're obviously enough of an expert to be able to competently dismiss all other medical causes, such that you feel it necessary to invoke fucking evil spirits as an explanation.

I can barely believe that it's necessary to type that sentence.

Why do some people need "demons" or "possession" or other spectacular supernatural manifestations of evil when there is enough darkness and despair within the boundaries of physical reality? To prove a point? There is plenty of evil for everybody, even without "possessed" people or other bullshit.

Especially fundamentalist Christians spend a lot of time talking about the devil, demons and stuff. As if they had a crush on Beelzebub and need some goosebumps and fear to be able to believe in Jesus.

That said, I don't know what experience you had, Bulldog. However, I am far more afraid of the "evil" that surrounds me in my everyday life (lies, foulness, lack of compassion, ignorance, hatefulness, etc...) than of demon-possessed people with unearthly voices. When "evil" is mundane and unspectacular, it is really frightening and it does a lot more damage, IMO.

There can be no light without darkness.
There can be no Abott without Costello.

There is no light, just like there is no darkness. It's all shades of gray.

There are no absolutes in life. If you look at nature even the animals are not good and evil, they just are. Now we might think a lion is evil cause it wants to eat us, but then we can also look at the lioness nursing her cubs and being a good mother. It's all a matter of perspective.

As I said, in my years of investigating paranormal experiences I have never, ever, came across anything that I thought was evil or demonic. No pea soup vomit, no floating beds, no crucifix masturbation scenes. Nada, zilch, zippo.

I'm not saying they don't exist, but I've never seen any credible evidence that they do. But I have met a lot of people who think any kind of paranormal activity could be demonic. Their fear causes them to jump to conclusions.