I’m leaving. I’m going. I just had one or two things to do. Mainly number two. I have … befouled the fountain in the middle of the Red Room. I have left My divine elimination in the fount of all butthurt. And it’s a stinker. I really hope you weren’t planning to drink from it, it’s hardly potable. Left My … leavings! A godly floater. Behind. In the fountain. I pooped in it. Am I not making this very clear?
Apparently, the only people who watch The Magicians here are myself and God. I'm okay with this, but the rest of you are missing out. It's an awesome show.
A toilet is a sort of fountain, if one thinks about it. I'm Chup now? I thought I was Faceman. Maybe I'm both? Only Eliteforge knows for sure. Just fuckin' with ya, I'm John Castle.
If you were John Castle you would have posted a lot more frequently. God has lots of things to do, John Castle does not.
I could have sworn this was a Paula Cole song... I guess YouTube has Me beat on omniscience these days. BLASPHEMER!
according to Pat Robertson and others, you already put a massive turd in the White House so you seem to be shitting things up everywhere.
*sigh* If I directly controlled the course of human existence, you wouldn't even have a president, or any sort of hierarchy at all beyond I'm more powerful than the rest of you and everyone does what I want. You people wanted free-will, and I gave it to you. Part of the deal was that I stopped micro-managing everything. Trump in the White House? You people put him there, not Me. It's not My problem, and I'm not getting involved. Also, Pat Robertson does not represent Me, and I do not endorse him or anyone else that claims to know My will. Seeing as you're all so keen on Me having a representative on Earth, maybe I should endorse someone? Fine, I hereby appoint Neil Degrasse Tyson to be My representative on Earth. He speaks for me in all matters. So sayeth the Lord.
I can demonstrate it by pooping in the fountain again. Nothing I said was meant to imply that I was departing this place, I was merely making poop puns. Because of that I did in the fountain. I took a shit in it. I did once tell one of my false prophets to knock it off. It only encouraged him. His name was Joseph Smith.
Why did you kill all those sodomites in Sodom? Just had a bad day and decided to kick the little people around?