Even her eyes look crazy. (The crazy ex-girlfriend thread)

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news...sex-on-him-police-say/?utm_term=.0693c6423f90

I figured this was thread worthy plus it is nice having a nonpolitical thread every once in a while. A guy in Montana comes home to find his ex-girlfriend has broken into his house and was hiding behind the bedroom door holding a machete in her hand. She then holds the machete to his throat, tells him to strip, then forces him to have sex with her.

She sounds like she could be a bunny boiler.

I could have saved this girl the cost of the machete.

"could be"?

She raped a dude at knifepoint, by now the bunny has already been served with Chianti and fava beans

No rape charge?

TBH I probably couldn't get an erection with a machete against my throat, so maybe this was something he always wanted and now they're going to reconcile.

No, I can tell you with certainty that adrenaline can cause erections.

It's the only way I can get hard these days

I fail to see a problem here... aside from her pissing on his bed.

She's still pre-op.

STOP MAKING FUN OF SARAH SANDERS' APPEARANCE

Samantha Ray Mears, 19...
....
Mears has a history of assault charges against the man, whom she had been dating for approximately seven years, the Great Falls Tribune reported.





Ummm... If I'm doing the math correctly, I'm not sure how innocent the 'victim' is here. Seems to me he likely had a hand (and dick) in making her crazy.

Her: "You WILL have sex with me. NOW! Or I will cut you."

Him:


Before any one gets all bent, I realize that it is fully possible for a woman to coerce sex out of a man. But really! What self-respecting man couldn't take a machete--a weapon you have to swing to be effective!--away from a silly ex if he were truly threatened?

When I was about 16 my best friend and I bought machetes from a military surplus store. The steel was good and as the salesman said they were made in Colombia where people "know what a good machete needs to have". We used them to clear and old access road near his house down to a canyon behind his parents house which we liked to go hiking and bike riding in. There was even an old irrigation dam daming the creek there with "1927" stamped into the concrete. We would go fishing there but would always throw the fish back due to the county having put up "danger toxic pesticide residue: Do not swim, drink water, or eat fish".

That area was old farmland and who knows what past owners sprayed on those fields? Now it has all been developed into 4S Ranch (a characterless suburb filled with McMansions which are already starting to break down after just 15 years).

Anyway, machetes aren't sharp and don't really hold an edge. We filed and filed those things but a few wacks later they would be dull again. It is more about the wedge shape and the weight with the force behind it spliting plant limbs than actual cutting like a knife. It is kind of like spliting wood not cutting something.

Ok, yeah, I hope he is brought up on charges as well.

Yeah, they are not even sharp so unless he is a small guy and she is a big girl...

Maybe this is how dayton's wife likes to do it and why he does not like sex?

You just can't leave people's family members out of it, can you?

See, what ever my other failings may be, when I have something to say to someone then I say it to them. I don't beat around the bush and talk shit about their family members. That is what chicken shits do. It is called being a stand up guy and even a pony loving cross dresser like you should be able to understand something as simple as that.

This is a thread about sex in the Midwest, of course family members are involved.

No one calls West Virginia the midwest, dumb ass. It is Appalachia.

Well, they don't say how old he is. Maybe he's 18.

Best thing you've ever posted.

I had one Brazilian gf who I unfortunately cheated on. She found out and jumped through the window of my truck (she was 5' 0") and tried to stab me with my set of darts. A couple of years later we were having dinner at Chili's. I reminded her of the incident, at which point she said "Jimmy, I only try to keel you one time!" I still feel bad.

That is so hot.

mine or the OP?

You took a Brazilian to Chili's? That's grounds for a beating, at least.

Lol. noooo...I was a cheater, not a beater.

I KNEW someone would disparage Chili's.

Can you even do stat charges once the victim is over the legal age?