Inappropriate Christmas Gift Ideas--Wordforge Stylee...

So. In the spirit of sharing and Christmas, and the spirit of the Red Room, I thought I'd start a thread where we could share a list of bad gift ideas. Gifts that you probably shouldn't get. From simply inappropriate to downright offensive, these are things that, if you give them, will probably NOT be welcome.

I'll go first: Be it your girlfriend or mother, sister, daughter, or just a female coworker, a gift certificate for an abortion will probably not be a welcome present.

Well, I don't know about anyone else but if I received..lets say a Stargate uniform - just for arguments sake - as a gift, I'd never speak to the fucker whom purchased it for me again and probably give them a thorough cunting in the bastard.

But that's just me.

A browncoat for Mewa.

A video on the joys of Ass to Mouth for The Flashlight.

I'll bake some Special Brownies.

With the Special ingredient.

[?=Special Ingredient]

You thought it was gonna be love or pot or something, didn't you?[/?]

Gloves for Tasvir.

A ghost costume for Lt. Mewa:


(with combustable lower-case T)

A life-size statue of Joshua Chamberlain for Muad Dib.

A book on quantum physics for baba.

Platform shoes for Storm.

It's generally bad form to mix up your gifts to Mewa and Muad Dib.

I want to see a "Gift of the Magi" style story involving Cass and Storm.

The entire "Children of the Corn" dvd series for the flows...

A tie-dye shirt and a pair of sandals for Elwood

$100 Red Lobster gift certificate for Uncle Albert.

A lifetime membership to the John Birch Society for henryhill.

Hmmm.

For Elwood, a copy of "Snakes On A Plane".

'Hooked On Phonics' for Asyncritus

That's more "useless" than "inappropriate".

From what I've heard, gloves for Elwood.

Apparently it's just inconsiderate when all he can wear are mittens.

Dear, Elwood would let you live if you gave him a pair of gloves...

Viagra for.. hell, all of you.

Garamet, thelurker and Moulin Rouge's yearly fee for the AARP.

Merry Christmas, Mums!

A spit roast for Techman so he can turn in his grave more easily.

OMG.

Reno Wins.

MoulinRouge is only six years older than you, IIRC.

A machine gun for cats, very inappropiate.

*sighs*

It is so not as much fun when you have to spell it out.

It doesn't matter. Those three seem the most sensitive to age related pokes and or are the brunt of them the most. Hence the extra poke and the double joke of the gift literally being inappropriate.

Happy now you sucked the fun out, Anna??

Lesbian porn for shepherd.
Voltare's work for asy

Are you propositioning the lot of us?

the 2 girls 1 cup box set DVD

A new bathing suit for Shakes

I'm not hearing a no... [/Zoidburg]