My friend and I were ruminating about missed chances from back in the day tonight, and I decided that my biggest one was from when I was a high school sophomore. I asked this girl I'd been pining away for to the homecoming dance, and to my astonishment she said yes. It amazed me cause she was a senior, and gorgeous, and popular and way, WAY out of my league. So out of my league, in fact, that I eventually lost my nerve and cancelled. I'm not even sure why. I think mostly I was worried that if she got to know me better, she'd see what a huge dork I was and I'd just embarass myself. Wasn't till years later, when I ran into an old mutual friend, that I found out she was really heartbroken over that. Apparently she'd had a thing for me, too, something that had never even occurred to me. I think I'll be kicking myself for a long time for that one. So commisserate with me, WF! Let's sit around the campfire and tell sad tales of what might have been!
Corinne, still the most beautiful 16-year-old green-eyed blonde I'd ever seen. I certainly had no chance with her, and I was too young and awkward to even know how to try. But one Christmas she surprised me by giving me a happy, smiling "Merry Christms!" Itso surprised me, I broke out in nervous laughter and ran away, probably confirming to her that I was an idiot. Jeannie, who I was close platonic friends with through high school. We talked each other through our awkward 'firsts' like first kiss and first sex - just not with each other! It wasn't till after high school that it hit me, I should have been asking her out. My neighbor's wife in the early 80s. I helped her dig her car out of the snow, helped her step over the drifts with a helping hand. Then she invited me up for a beer. She was an extremely cute ivory-girl blonde, whose husband was away on business a lot. a LOT. While I finished shoveling out my own car I realized what she was getting at (okay, I'm slow). It sure was tempting. I knocked on her door and told her I was pretty tired and I thought I'd best just go collapse with my wife. That was a close one.
Hmm, I can't think of any missed opportunities. I tend to jump on top of every chance that gets by for that very reason, I don't want to think of what might have been.
One cute brunette who was a friend-of-a-friend when I moved out to RI after college. We all went to a bar together one night, and she mentioned a couple of times about her "boyfriend who was in the Marines and was overseas." At least that's how I heard it. After the fact, and in hindsight it became apparent that what she was really saying was her "boyfriend was in the Marines and was overseas". Later discussions with the mutual friend confirmed that the brunette would've been agreeable had I pursued it, and that the Marine wasn't much of boyfriend. Too bad I was clueless at the time.
I could never do that to a member of our Armed Forces. This one girl at my college has the hots for me, but her fiancee is a member of one of the Armed Forces. I couldn't imagine anything worse than coming home from serving your country and your loved ones to have your loved ones betray you while you were gone.
I think this sums up a great many of my missed opportunities, and probably a lot of other peoples' too!
The way I see it, if she's pursuing someone else, the relationship's over, whether the guy knows it or not.
The story I got later was that the relationship was on a downhill slide even before he shipped overseas. And FYI, this was 1987 or 88, so we're talking about even before Gulf War I, so the dude was just stationed overseas, not so much in harm's way. Of course, as I said, I was too clueless to realize the opportunity. And even if I had, I'd have probably been pretty wary of getting the crap beat outta me by a Marine, next time he came home on leave.
I had one other missed opportunity that is in a similar vein. A girl I knew, who was actually a lesbian (or swore she was) came to me crying my senior year cause she and her year-plus girlfriend had broken up. She wanted someone to comfort her...in multiple ways I gotta admit, I wanted to hit that, like the fist of an angry god and every other way. She was HOT. But, stupidly, I said "No, I'm dating a girl now. I'm pretty happy with her, I don't wanna cheat, yadda-yadda." Yeah, well, a few months later, turns out she was cheating on me. So now I firmly believe: Strike while the iron is hot!
You should be very careful if you think that way. Some guys, and I'm not speaking about just military, will kill you for touching their women before things are really over.
I know. Which is why you shouldn't, I think, rush in headlong without thinking. Be careful, but don't feel like you OWE the other guy anything, you know?
I can't say that I've missed many opportunities. When I was single, I pursued every single one. Having said that, though, I have knowingly passed on some "opportunities" for various reasons that I won't go into here. No real regrets because my life wouldn't be what it is now...
too many to recount, usually through stupidity or being in a relationship. although, i've recently had the opportunity to retake a missed a chance - and did so with much gusto - and looks like anothers coming up
I pretty much agree with ecky on this one. I don't have regrets because I happen to love the way my life has turned out, but I know that I've passed by and missed several opportunities for other things. Not BETTER things persay, just "other" things.
Well, since I'm engaged to a very lovely lady right now, I too guess I wouldn't call it a "regret", because I certainly don't regret where I'm at right now. Still, sometimes I wonder about what might have been. Although realistically I know it would have probably been like almsot every other relationship I had in HS.
I guess you're a Lone Ranger! After 22+ years of military I could write a book about people nailing military guys/gals spouses and lovers. The classic is my Iraq deployment in 2003. One guy in my unit's wife was back in Germany getting it on.....with her DRUG DEALER! And they have kids and everything - they're not a young couple. Oh yeah, my bud was very popular and well liked, so he had many folks offering to make the boyfriend suffer an unfortunate "accident" when we got back, but he declined. I moved to America before I found out how it got resolved.
Well...that's just wrong. That's way beyond just boinking a guy whose GF is thinking of dumping him anyway.
That was but one example. While I was in Iraq several guys' wives were getting boinked by soldiers/civilans back at home. Also cleaning out their bank accounts, etc. It happens al the time, and on long deployments there are just that many more opportunities, and the guys can't do shit because they're stuck in Iraq with no chance of paying a "surprise visit" and catching them in the act. Funny "in the act" story: One of my Air Force buds (this was before drug testing) forgot something at home, and went back to his house around mid-morning. He knocked on his door because he figured his wife would answer it so he wouldn't have to dick with unlocking the door and the deadlock (I do the same thing if I'm in a hurry). The door opens and...it's a man, man! The guy is in his underwear, and my bud snapped and kicked him right square in the balls wearing his combat boots! Then he went "medievel" and started kicking and stomping his incapacitated body. Then he remembered he had pot in the house, and ran inside to flush it. His wife was calling the cops, and screaming at him because the boyfriend was old cold and bleeding like a stuffed pig. My bud did a few days in jail and the boyfriend was fucked up pretty much for life - had to have major reconstructive surgery.
Reading Dad's letters home from cadet training (Gram saved them all!) is amusing: "Give my love to Avis." "Tell Jean I hope she's doing well." "I guess you know Avis is the one now, Mom." "Did Jean get my letter?" Avis/Jean/Avis/Jean - then there's one from Richmond Army Air Field, "Met a great gal down here..." That dog.
