I always knew tofu was bad for you!

Now there's proof!

Shut up! We must bury this so the hippies won't see it. "Operation: End The Hippie Threat via sterilization" must go on.

Well, the first major consumers of soybeans were monks in China. It was discovered that eating the legumes curbed natural urges, thus making adherence to their vow of celibacy much, much easier.

So... tofu reduces my chances of knocking up my girlfriend?



I'm trying to see a downside....

Hell can't be as bad as standing in front of the microwave now can it.

I'm pretty sure this laptop has irradiated my stones to the point of no return already.

I have 3 biological kids of my own.

My swimmers have already done their job anyway.

And it's not like a guy like me is likely to get lucky enough to meet some cute little thing that wants me to father any children for them, sadly.

(Because I would say "yes" in a heartbeat.)

I must be one of the few truely real omnivores on the planet. I love a good thick rare steak cooked over a fire, or a thick cheeseburger, or some BBQ'd pulled pork or Texas beef brisket, just as much as I love a good salad or some tofu (or sushi).

(I even have several different types of Beef salad recipes - and the Vietnamese make a *great* beef salad.)

And if I go too long with out meat, I *crave* it. Too long without veggies or fruit, I crave them too. Intensely.

I don't understand people like my vegetarian/vegan friend or my meat-only cousin who just eat one or the other.

One of my favorite dishes at the local Chinese place is beef & tofu in black mushroom sauce.

I just don't like it when my soy is trying to pretend to be meat. Fake meat doesn't taste real- that shit's *nasty* and if I want the real thing, I will just get it. Gardenburgers are okay, because they don't try to *pretend* to taste like a hamburger.

I refuse to eat anything that doesn't have a face. I feel it is cruel.

I'm sure lots of men in the restrooms feel better now.