Dragging The Would-Be Taters Into The Open

So, will you turn them into French/Freedom Fires, mashed, Fried, or the ever-popular chips?

Only a homo prefers sauteed, just so you know!

I'd bake 'em.

Then I'd scoop them out, mash them up, add sour cream, a little milk, green onions, bacon bits, and cheddar cheese.

Then I'd scoop them back in and bake 'em again for good measure.

You would twice bake the taters? Who has ever heard of such a thing?

Yep. Then I'd nuke any leftov...I mean...survivors the next day.

Damn, are the taters shaped like shoes?

I would perform a special trick involving a wire shirt and a cheesegrater.

Then I would make them report to Spudnik.

Why not...we have refried beans! Why all the "tater hate?"

Because we are the TATER-HATERS! !

I'd put 'em through a special torture device like this:



Then dunk them in hot animal fat like this:

Oh, damn it. Forgot one important step. I'd skin them first.

You cru-well BEEZT!

I am.

"Why do you people hate brown food?"

boil em, mash em, stick em in a stew