Battleship

Discussion in 'Media Central' started by Paladin, May 19, 2012.

  1. Paladin

    Paladin Overjoyed Man of Liberty

    Joined:
    Mar 29, 2004
    Messages:
    50,154
    Location:
    Spacetime
    Ratings:
    +53,512
    Saw it tonight. Surprisingly good entertainment. It isn't going to beat Avengers for best summer action movie of 2012, but it's a better movie than I expected.

    Short plot summary: We dumb humans send a message to a planet in deep space that we think might be inhabited. It is and they show up. They have a bit of bad luck on their entry into Earth's atmosphere and therefore need to capture the Hawaiian Islands (this actually does make sense). One screw-up Navy officer (Taylor Kitsch) winds up in command of a destroyer that narrowly escapes intact from combat with one of the aliens. He has to pull his rag-tag team of officers together to wage war with the invaders but, just when he learns what the aliens' objective is, things go from bad to worse...

    Let me just say this: the last act of this film is COMPLETELY ABSURD. But, it's a testament to how well the first two acts were executed that I was willing to smile and go with it. Sometimes you just have to say, yes, in the world of the movie, the kind of thing that happens could happen.

    The actions beats are pretty good. The aliens, when stripped of their armor, look AMAZINGLY like Uncle Albert. There are several points where you might want to applaud; there are also a couple of "oh, shit" moments. I'm not too sold on Kitsch as leading man, but he's earnest and the rest of the cast is decent, the very beautiful Brooklyn Decker (as the lead's girlfriend) and the always reliable Liam Neeson (as her father who is, of course, also admiral of the fleet) being especially notable.

    If you like to watch warships slug it out, there is some great Navy porn in this one. The visual effects were good throughout, especially impressive as a lot of it involves water. I did note several concepts--ahem--borrowed from other movies (like Independence Day, Star Trek: First Contact, the recent Star Trek, Alien) but that didn't diminish my enjoyment of the film. Oh, and there's a bit after the credits, too.

    My bottom line: surprisingly entertaining if completely absurd. 6/10
    • Agree Agree x 1
  2. RickDeckard

    RickDeckard Socialist

    Joined:
    May 28, 2004
    Messages:
    37,900
    Location:
    Ireland
    Ratings:
    +32,498
    [​IMG]

    Like fuck am I going to see a movie based on that.
    • Agree Agree x 3
  3. Hood

    Hood Wibble Cunt

    Joined:
    Mar 30, 2009
    Messages:
    1,000
    Location:
    Viewing Private Messages
    Ratings:
    +1,796
    Shamelessly stolen from Twitter:

    • Agree Agree x 3
  4. Marso

    Marso High speed, low drag.

    Joined:
    Mar 27, 2004
    Messages:
    29,417
    Location:
    Idaho
    Ratings:
    +14,151
    I don't know, man. Normally I trust Paladin implicitly on movie reviews, but after looking at several early reviews of this one I have never seen so many one star reviews of a movie from different people in my entire life, complete with explanations as to why that just made me cringe.

    I'm going to have to think about this one before sinking any time or cash into it. Maybe let it run through the weekend and see the reviews- I love me some good Navy heavy iron porn as much as anyone, but for cryin' out loud the story has to be there at least a little bit.

    Oh, and people who shoplift in the Navy don't get promoted to O-5 OR screen for command. In my first squadron we had a lieutenant get caught stealing a fucking magazine from the exchange- he went to Admiral's Mast and got admin sepped from the Navy. (Read: kicked out).
    • Agree Agree x 1
  5. Paladin

    Paladin Overjoyed Man of Liberty

    Joined:
    Mar 29, 2004
    Messages:
    50,154
    Location:
    Spacetime
    Ratings:
    +53,512
    There is a 10 minute sequence in the movie that has some connection to that--you almost don't realize it until it's well under way--and, honest to God, it works. I don't want to give away plot points, but it involves the protagonist's destroyer using an "unconventional" system of targeting in order to fire on the enemy ships. This system has a basis in real life, although, realistically, I don't think it would be fine-grained enough to be used as it is in the film. Still, it's a gripping sequence.
  6. Shirogayne

    Shirogayne Gay™ Formerly Important

    Joined:
    May 17, 2005
    Messages:
    42,377
    Location:
    San Diego
    Ratings:
    +56,128
    The Navy doesn't tolerate screw up officers too much. We had four officers on my ship get restricted to the ship at a port because one of them (my own cunt officer, no less) decided to break from her group and come back to the ship drunk--alone. :rolleyes: People grumbled about it only being a two-day restriction and officers getting special treatment, but those kinds of things stay on an officer's track record forever.
  7. oldfella1962

    oldfella1962 the only real finish line

    Joined:
    Nov 28, 2004
    Messages:
    81,024
    Location:
    front and center
    Ratings:
    +29,958
  8. Dayton Kitchens

    Dayton Kitchens Banned

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2004
    Messages:
    51,920
    Location:
    Norphlet, Arkansas
    Ratings:
    +5,412
    I don't know. I've read some real life stories about guys like that as recently as the Vietnam War. Guys drafted to fight that had been complete screwups in civilian life, undisciplined, uncontrollable soldiers in training, but then when the shooting started they managed to not only pull it together but to be damned competent and heroic.

    I recall some award winning picture from the Vietnam War that featured a soldier that met just that description looking back over his shoulder into the camera of the photographer while both he and the photographer are pinned down by communist gunfire.

    The soldier went on to be awarded virtually every medal that the U.S. gives out.

    I don't think that occurrs as much in the modern military since it is all voluntary the people who join are less likely to be routine troublemakers.
  9. dkehler

    dkehler Fresh Meat Deceased Member

    Joined:
    Mar 27, 2004
    Messages:
    2,989
    Location:
    Winnipeg
    Ratings:
    +1,716
    Saw this today. Yes, it was your typical big, dumb action blockbuster. Pretty much Star Trek with Navy ships. The motivation of the aliens is never really made clear. I want to give the 3rd act a lot of slack because of how it portrays a certain group of individuals.
  10. Mr. Plow

    Mr. Plow Fuck Y'all

    Joined:
    Apr 15, 2004
    Messages:
    4,137
    Location:
    Langley Falls, VA
    Ratings:
    +1,409
  11. Nautica

    Nautica Probably a Dual

    Joined:
    Aug 10, 2005
    Messages:
    11,555
    Location:
    St. Louis
    Ratings:
    +6,504
    So we send a message to a possibly inhabited planet in Deep Space. And they so up weeks later?

    Sure, that means they've got FTL drives on their ships, but it also means that we've now mastered FTL communications! :techman:
  12. Sokar

    Sokar Yippiekiyay, motherfucker. Deceased Member

    Joined:
    Oct 10, 2004
    Messages:
    14,494
    Location:
    Third stone from the sun
    Ratings:
    +8,351
  13. Black Dove

    Black Dove Mildly Offensive

    Joined:
    Mar 27, 2004
    Messages:
    17,421
    Location:
    Northern New Jersey
    Ratings:
    +6,756
    FLOP!!!!!

    Stupid idea to begin with and deserved to die a horrible death.
  14. LizK

    LizK Sort of lurker

    Joined:
    Mar 27, 2004
    Messages:
    10,031
    Ratings:
    +2,268
    Stays on the record and slows down promotions a lot.
  15. Arch

    Arch massive irritant

    Joined:
    Dec 20, 2010
    Messages:
    319
    Location:
    The Lab
    Ratings:
    +268
    [​IMG]
    • Agree Agree x 5
  16. Paladin

    Paladin Overjoyed Man of Liberty

    Joined:
    Mar 29, 2004
    Messages:
    50,154
    Location:
    Spacetime
    Ratings:
    +53,512
    Actually, it's not altogether clear, but it appears to be years later. The main character is not even in the Navy when the message is sent, and is an officer on a ship by the time the baddies show up.
    I believe that is the case in the movie. It's also integral to the plot because the aliens need to capture the facility that transmits the signal.
  17. dkehler

    dkehler Fresh Meat Deceased Member

    Joined:
    Mar 27, 2004
    Messages:
    2,989
    Location:
    Winnipeg
    Ratings:
    +1,716
    I think the whole communications thing was just another plot point (of many) that the audience was not supposed to think too much about. Almost none of it holds up to scrutiny whatsoever.
  18. Captain X

    Captain X Responsible cookie control

    Joined:
    Mar 29, 2009
    Messages:
    15,318
    Location:
    The Land of Snow and Cold
    Ratings:
    +9,731
    :lol: In a movie like this, I'm guessing that thinking is supposed to be the enemy.
    • Agree Agree x 1
  19. Paladin

    Paladin Overjoyed Man of Liberty

    Joined:
    Mar 29, 2004
    Messages:
    50,154
    Location:
    Spacetime
    Ratings:
    +53,512
    Clearly, the plot requires (1) that the aliens have some immediate goal [calling for reinforcements] and (2) that some means exists for the good guys to thwart that goal [survive the battle at sea and destroy the station]. Thus, the aliens capture the Oahu transmission station and the humans have to destroy it all costs. I thought this was straight out of First Contact: where the Borg build their inter-plexing beacon.

    The plot makes "enough" sense in that it holds together within its own logic. But if you're not willing to put up with a little silliness, this movie is definitely not for you...
  20. dkehler

    dkehler Fresh Meat Deceased Member

    Joined:
    Mar 27, 2004
    Messages:
    2,989
    Location:
    Winnipeg
    Ratings:
    +1,716
    Don't get me wrong, it was okay and entertaining enough for what it was. However, it's not something I would probably ever watch again.
  21. Nautica

    Nautica Probably a Dual

    Joined:
    Aug 10, 2005
    Messages:
    11,555
    Location:
    St. Louis
    Ratings:
    +6,504
    Does Brooklyn Decker get nekkid? Something like that would allow me to more easily suspend my disbelief...
  22. dkehler

    dkehler Fresh Meat Deceased Member

    Joined:
    Mar 27, 2004
    Messages:
    2,989
    Location:
    Winnipeg
    Ratings:
    +1,716
    No, it's pretty much family-friendly.
  23. Dayton Kitchens

    Dayton Kitchens Banned

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2004
    Messages:
    51,920
    Location:
    Norphlet, Arkansas
    Ratings:
    +5,412
    At least they have a real wounded veteran tangling with one of the aliens.
  24. Paladin

    Paladin Overjoyed Man of Liberty

    Joined:
    Mar 29, 2004
    Messages:
    50,154
    Location:
    Spacetime
    Ratings:
    +53,512
    I might acquire the Blu-Ray just for the VFX/Navy porn, but I essentially agree with you: it's an enjoyable-enough one-time-watch, not a classic you're going to spin once a year.
  25. Paladin

    Paladin Overjoyed Man of Liberty

    Joined:
    Mar 29, 2004
    Messages:
    50,154
    Location:
    Spacetime
    Ratings:
    +53,512
    And that guy was a pretty decent actor. He didn't make the mistake of overacting.
  26. Sean the Puritan

    Sean the Puritan Endut! Hoch Hech!

    Joined:
    Mar 29, 2004
    Messages:
    25,788
    Location:
    Phoenix, AZ
    Ratings:
    +15,703
    Saw it today.

    Wasn't bad. I had fun.
  27. Dayton Kitchens

    Dayton Kitchens Banned

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2004
    Messages:
    51,920
    Location:
    Norphlet, Arkansas
    Ratings:
    +5,412
    When it comes out on DVD, I should be able to glean some nice scenes from it for my Third World War project.

    I'm wanting to do the same as the "The Third World War: The Untold Story" video on YouTube but with lots of my own scenes added in.

    The thing I'm really lacking is scenes of what are clearly Soviet Navy ships getting hit by missiles and bombs.
  28. oldfella1962

    oldfella1962 the only real finish line

    Joined:
    Nov 28, 2004
    Messages:
    81,024
    Location:
    front and center
    Ratings:
    +29,958
    I'm sure he is. He's an Army Colonel. He's had to act in thousand of meetings and briefings over the years. :nocomment:
  29. Dr. Krieg

    Dr. Krieg Stay at Home Astronaut. Administrator Overlord

    Joined:
    Oct 15, 2008
    Messages:
    10,396
    Location:
    The Hell, where youth and laughter go.
    Ratings:
    +13,565
    Are there actual Battleships in this?
  30. Paladin

    Paladin Overjoyed Man of Liberty

    Joined:
    Mar 29, 2004
    Messages:
    50,154
    Location:
    Spacetime
    Ratings:
    +53,512
    It's hard to say much without spoiling the ending, but yes.