Why hasn't Garamet become the next J.K. Rowling?

And yet here you are laying claim not only to knowledge about my income, but to a conviction - based on one knows not what - that it's "not enough."

All very interesting hypotheses, but you proceed from several false assumptions, not least of which is that you're entitled to this information, and that repetitive trolling is the way to obtain it.

Despite the easy "Probe" jokes, at least she's had a book published and it's sort of neat to be able to interact with a published author on a message board. I really should read one of Margaret's novels one of these days.

However, if it sucks, I'm gonna burn it and stomp on it with some girlie shoes then post pictures.

While we wait for Flashy to come up with yet another “new” and “original” way to troll me, a few thoughts:

Had he sincerely wanted information, he’d have started this in the Workshop, and I’d have answered him in terms he might understand: “Why isn’t every lawyer in America the next Harvey Specter?” I’d think the answers would have been obvious, but perhaps I’m overestimating him.

Had he read any portion of the two threads I linked him to, he’d have found the drill-down answers there. The short version is: Have you ever applied for a job with 199,999 other applicants and gotten the job? That, to most rational people, would be a definition of success.

And why Rowling? Different era, different genre, different country of origin, different educational background. Oh, right. “All women writers are interchangeable.” That must be it.

If he’d been just a tiny bit smart, Flashy’s troll would have been “Why hasn’t garamet become the next Philip K. Dick?” (a writer with whom the critics tend to compare me) or even “Why hasn’t garamet become the next Peter David?” Each of those has a different answer, but at least the questions would have made some sort of sense.

But then we get into the silly notion that there’s some Magic Formula for writing the next bestseller. If there were, people like Flashy who think it’s all about the Benjamins would have discovered it. I’d invite him to try.

So many directions this conversation might have taken, if Crash-Test Dummy had been just a little bit intelligent about it.

Why hasn't garamet become the next Harlan Ellison?

Philip K. Dick, huh? I haven't read enough of either of your bodies of work, but I will say the only other sci-fi author I've thought about while reading your books was Asimov. Interestingly, I had noted some thematic similarities between him and Dick....

I'm taller.

No desire to be a screenwriter. Know people who are, and have heard the horror stories. Also, it's not a strength of mine. What the hell is a "two-minute scene"?

Yes, I know what it is, but why limit yourself? My thing is narrative, lots and lots of loopy Celtic-knotted narrative. Don't tell me I have to write something with a stopwatch and then have the director, the actors, the editor, even the best boy mess with it so that it's unrecognizable in the final product.

As for Ellison's print fiction, that's where talent meets timing. S/f was an Old Boy network when he broke in, and he was able to control his temper back then and shmooze the right people, which is only part of it. The rest is having the particular thing a particular editor is looking for at the moment he's looking for it. That's happened to me on a number of occasions.

But ultimately I'm hard to niche. I'm a mainstream writer by training and desire who happens to write s/f, and without the hard science background. I write what Nimoy used to say Star Trek was all about - people stories. And if the guy I'm pitching to that week is looking for cyber punk and not a people story, his secretary's assistant is not going to return my agent's calls (that is, if she even retrieves them from her voicemail; the guy himself is on the Vineyard until after Labor Day).

It's what the critics say. I don't get it myself.

Isn't that what stories are supposed to be about, particularly science fiction? Maybe I just think so because my first taste of literary science fiction was Bradbury.

The best science fiction is never directly about the science.

Pretty much, yeah. But too many editors think like bean-counters. They're less about "This is a really good story!" and more about "How easy would it be for which studio to make this?"

Because there's only one Harlan. That's all the universe can take.

Me neither. It would never even occur to me to compare you to PKD. If anything, your style is like the aforementioned Peter David or maybe Orson Scott Card.

Ok, Garamet, for us aspiring authors that can't seem to get off our asses and get something written, what are some good goals for us to work toward meeting?

You mentioned getting published before turning 30; I just hit thirty (), have drafts of ideas written down (John Castle knows what I'm talking about)...

Meh. Well, screw it, if garamet's not going to be the next Harlan Ellison, then I will. *grumble*

You've certainly got the personality, but do you have the hair?

It's a very complex process. I'll try to explain it as simply as possible:

I know, I know. Easy enough to say, damn difficult to do, especially if you've got a Day Job and, in your case, a creative pursuit in music. And, yeah, sometimes you have to eat, sleep, interact with other humans, all that stuff.

But if you want to write, you will. Then it's a question of whether it's a hobby or a compulsion. See if you can set aside a definite time every day and just sit and stare at the blank page. (Columnist Russell Baker used to say it was the most daunting thing in the world, that blank page. He recommended writing your name, a grocery list, anything, to reduce the threat of the blankness.) Scribble in longhand if you have to (I wrote my first drafts in longhand for almost 20 years).

Some days nothing will happen, and you'll decide you're wasting your life. Other days you won't be able to get the words down fast enough, and the next day you might wonder "WTF was I thinking?" and delete half of 'em or say "Damn, I'm good!" and keep going.

Because unless there's something much more important for you to do in that hour or two a day, you'll keep going until you finish something.

It's as simple and as complex as that.

If the 1970s come 'round again, I'll stay in character by wearing a Yorkshire Terrier as a hat.

I've meant to read some of garamet's non-Trek stuff but haven't yet gotten around to it. I enjoyed the Trek things she's written though (actually got a little choked up at the end of "Burning Dreams").

huh! garamet wrote probe?

thats one of my fave books

or am i adding fuel to the fire? :/

No, garamet didn't write Probe, something she's been telling anyone who would listen for the past 20 years. Garamet's manuscript was re-written by Gene DeWeese, who has since died. Despite having disowned the finished product and publicly trashing her former editor "Rock Star" as a duplicitous con man, Garamet's name wasn't taken off the book and she happily pocketed whatever profits came her way as a result of its sales. DeWeese was once quoted as having wished he could have had a slice of those profits rather than settling for whatever he got for overhauling Garamet's train wreck. Garamet has never said whether she offered to pay him anything extra for his efforts.

Of course we've never had anything other than Garamet's version of events to go by, Rock Star may have a very different story to tell.

Peter David?

David has demonstrated far more versatility than garamet. Here's a thought, why doesn't she write comic books? David has had celebrated runs on Hulk, X-Factor....

See, that was the point of the whole thread, which garamet predictably dodged. Is it because she doesn't think she has the talent to write her version of Captain Underpants?

Why is Flashlight afraid to address me directly? Does he get results from continued rudeness IRL?

Maybe he's a little bit...



"It puts the lotion on its skin. It does this whenever it's told."

Then you'd best help stomp on it with your girlie shoes.

I sincerely hope age doesn't adversely affect chances of being published for the first time. I'm still working on a novel (or four), and I'm 33.

Shit, what're you talking about? I'm 51 and still trying to get the first one finished.

This thread is a really good example of 'Troll backfire'. Notably, Garamet's been the target twice now of a troll backfire.


Flashlight, stop taking notes from Skrain. He's not a good role model.

Skrain had just enough intelligence to try it only once. This is Flashy’s ninth attempt, and no doubt he’s got a tenth lined up. Notice how he keeps trying the “dodged the question” meme, thinking it will earn him some sort of applause. While he’s not imaginative enough to have invented it, I think I may start referring to it as The Flashlight Effect every time one of the other boneheads parrots it.

Gotta say I love these threads, though. They give me a chance to talk about what I do and find out what the other writers here are up to, in addition to all the silliness. Can’t wait for the next one.

The beauty of writing is that there are no upper or lower age limits. Mozart may have written symphonies when he was four, but he couldn't have written a novel. It's not like sports or dance, where you're antiquated at 30. Graham Greene was still writing 2,500 words a day when he was 86.

One of my favorite mystery writers is a guy named James Lee Burke. His first novel was published when he was 35. He didn't sell another until 1987, 16 years later. Just picked up his 33rd novel for my Kindle.

Writing doesn't require elaborate props, expensive equipment, or a lot of space for your canvases or silk-screen apparatus. Shakespeare didn't need a Mac. Hell, nowadays with electronic submissions, you don't even need to invest in copy paper or postage, and rejection letters come in the next day's email instead of 6-12 weeks later.

I know I've said this many times before, but I'll say it again: If you write, you are a writer. Pitching your work, getting a sale, seeing it published are variables over which you have little control. If you get there, wonderful. But if you don't, that doesn't mean you're not a writer.

Not everybody can be J.K. Rowling. The confluence of coincidences that created J.K. Rowling was a perfect storm that picked her out of probably a hundred just-as-talented YA writers. Most people get that.

Why Flashlight thinks a series of calculatedly stupid questions from a message board anonym will "get to" me is just a quaint little twist in his brain.

And now we wait for the next one...

I've got one better than that. One of my favorites is Raymond Chandler. His first novel, The Big Sleep, was published when he was 51.

Age is a barricade no stronger than the procrastination you reinforce it with.

QFT.

Well let's see, first off I never said the words "not enough," so your use of quotation marks to imply that you're quoting something I wrote is deliberately misleading and fraudulent.

Second, I've never claimed to know what your income is, although in the Workshop thread you linked to you talked about how you couldn't "afford" to work for some guy who tried to low-ball you after promising something higher on the handshake. So what did you mean that you couldn't "afford" to work for what he was offering to pay?

Whether you choose to answer the questions is irrelevant and has no bearing on my desire to ask them. And no, I don't think I'm entitled to any information about you. Your clumsy dodging offers endless entertainment.

You're confusing the meanings of the word 'afford' here. "Can't afford" as it relates to making a purchase isn't the same as "can't afford" as in "can't allow." She meant the latter, and it's pretty easy to understand why. If you let somebody lowball you on a job, it's going to get out that you're a sucker, and then everybody is trying to lowball you.