You're all guilty.

I sentence you to death by natural causes. Or disease. Or a bus. Or Apophis. Whichever happens first.

"This verdict is written on a cocktail napkin. And it still says guilty. And guilty is spelled wrong!"

I intend to fight this sentence to my dying days!

can i die of all three?

So basically you've gone Catholic?

He's gone Catholic, look at his boots, he's gone Catholic, back to his roots, he's gone Catholic, look at his suit, he's gone Catholic, here he comes.

You are not ready for immortality.

I invented immortality. But then I realized that if any of you primates got hold of it, I'd never be rid of you, so I put it on Etsy.com, right where no one would ever see it.

Looking at the state of my apartment after having a few kids over, I totally am

You realize that means you'll have the company of nothing but artsy-craftsy types for all eternity, right?

There will be NOTHING natural about my demise!

Every elderly person I've met says "Don't get old."

I don't intend to.

I intend to die in an epic military campaign or volcano platforming excursion before age 50.

I want to go out in blaze, preferably taking as many with me as possible. I'm thinking something along the lines of cutting the wrong wire on the thermo-nuclear warhead.

Accept mortality?

Over my dead body.

I'd like to die on top of Kaley Cuoco

Your AV, she belongs in my bed

[YT]

You mean the Wendy's girl... Morgan Goodwin Smith..