The 2022 Random Meme Thread

I don't get it.

 

Every time a gay guy has tried to get in my pants and I wasn't interested:

Guy: "Wanna hook up?"

Me: "No thanks."

Guy: "Okay, that's cool."


Every time a "straight" guy has tried to get in my pants and I wasn't interested:

Guy: "Hey, I was thinking: I'm not gay, but I could really go for a BJ right about now, and I really don't care who does it."

Me: "Okay, that's... a thing that you said..."

Guy: "So, if a dude is getting a BJ from another dude, but he closes his eyes and imagines that a chick is doing it, it's not gay."

Me: "..."

Guy: "Tell you what, I'll give you a BJ first. I'm not gay and I don't actually want to suck your dick, but it seems fair that I should give a BJ if I want to receive one."

Me: "No thank you."

Guy: "What? Why? I already explained how it's not gay, what's the problem? Plus, I already said I'd suck your dick first, so this definitely works in your favor. You don't have a reason to say 'no.'"

Me: "I don't give a shit if it's gay or not, I just don't want to have sex with you."

Guy: "Dude! I didn't say anything about having gay sex! We're just going to receive a BJ with our eyes closed while pretending a woman is doing it, and give a BJ because that's the polite thing to do before or after receiving one, and that's also not gay, it's just polite. Then, I'm going to fuck you in the ass to show dominance and prove I'm not gay, then you fuck me in the ass to show dominance and prove you're not gay. We both have to prove we're not gay so that this isn't gay."

Me: "I'm not doing any of that."

Guy: *whips dick out* "Fine, I'm just gonna jerk off over here, by myself. Let me know if you want to get in on this, because I'm still feeling generous."

Me: "I'm leaving."

Guy: "Fine! But first, I need you to swear that none of this is gay."

 

Wait we don't do this?

 

We thought you chucked some bullets in the fryer too. At least based on the metallic flavour of McD's shit-ass fries.

Triple-cooked chunky chips is where it's at, bitches.

Damn this low-carb diet hurts. Tried with celeriac but it doesn't crisp up properly and stays chewy in the middle.

Though I did manage keto Yorkshire puddings the other day so I can feel good during Sunday roasts.

 

I want Randall Munroe to do a "What If?" around this meme.

 

Cow Dog Cop.

Winning strat: Always play cow.

 

Why tase the dog?

 

Maybe it was black?

 

Cow Dog Cop Lizard Spock

 

@Bickendan strikes again!