How many times do you wipe your butt?

Discussion in 'The Red Room' started by Fisherman's Worf, Feb 27, 2023.

  1. Fisherman's Worf

    Fisherman's Worf I am the Seaman, I am the Walrus, Qu-Qu-Qapla'!

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    Also how many squares per wipe?

    Sometimes it
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  2. Tererune

    Tererune Troll princess and Magical Girl

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    It Depends.

    Get it Depends.
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  3. Rimjob Bob

    Rimjob Bob Classy Fellow

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    I use baby wipes. Gotta keep it extra clean for my namesake. :)
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  4. Fisherman's Worf

    Fisherman's Worf I am the Seaman, I am the Walrus, Qu-Qu-Qapla'!

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    Bob?
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  5. Tuckerfan

    Tuckerfan BMF

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    If I'm using the bidet, a couple of squares and a single dab will do ya!
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  6. We Are Borg

    We Are Borg Republican Democrat

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    Half a roll usually gets the job done. :ramen:
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  7. Spaceturkey

    Spaceturkey i can see my house

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    I try to get the stuff made from kittens. Usually a couple squares at a time.

    More of a pinch than a wipe though, so I can catch cling ons. I usually try to have my daily shit before my shower in the morning.

    Was using a bamboo cotton cloth for a while. White, so I could ensure it was clean after use... definitely more effective.
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  8. 14thDoctor

    14thDoctor Oi

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    Always one more time than absolutely necessary.
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  9. Kommander

    Kommander Bandwagon

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    I use four squares at a time. It's enough without being excessive.

    I wipe as many times as is necessary. Usually at least three. If I hit number eight or nine and it's not getting the job done, I should probably just get in the shower.

    If a shower isn't necessary, I'll do one final wipe with some witch hazel sprayed on paper towel, or a wash cloth if I'm feeling fancy, because wiping shit off my skin with dry toilet paper and saying "yep, that's good enough for going out in public" seems like something an incel would do.
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  10. steve2^4

    steve2^4 Aged Meat

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  11. ed629

    ed629 Morally Inept Banned

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    As much as it takes.

    If it's one of those, then shower with the shoe shine technique.
  12. Lanzman

    Lanzman Vast, Cool and Unsympathetic Formerly Important

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  13. tafkats

    tafkats scream not working because space make deaf Moderator

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    Y'all count the squares?
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  14. shootER

    shootER Insubordinate...and churlish Administrator

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    A friend of mine used to joke about being so poor and frugal that he had to count the squares and yelled at his kids if he could hear the roll spinning. :lol:
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  15. Fisherman's Worf

    Fisherman's Worf I am the Seaman, I am the Walrus, Qu-Qu-Qapla'!

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    Too few squares and you risk breaking through the TP and fingering your dirty butthole. Too many squares and you risk a toilet clog.
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  16. The Original Faceman

    The Original Faceman Lasagna Artist

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    The number is 4 squares.
  17. Tererune

    Tererune Troll princess and Magical Girl

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    Nice Calvin and Hobbs reference.
  18. Fisherman's Worf

    Fisherman's Worf I am the Seaman, I am the Walrus, Qu-Qu-Qapla'!

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    Unless your wife insists on buying that extra soft toilet paper.