Bigfoot is real, and the Girl Scouts are part of a conspiracy to cover it up. Doubt me? Well, look at this! They took an oath to keep it secret! Now, do you believe?
I believe it! Side note, I think we should let the girl scouts run the country. Even if they fuck it up, we're getting goddamn good cookies out of the deal.
I wish I could have been a Girl Scout, but no, I had to be a stupid dumb Boy Scout. Instead of cookies, we had to sell Trail's End popcorn. If it was close to Christmas time the caramel corn tins sold fairly well, but otherwise, it was just pop corn. Instead of bigfoot, we just learned all the Illuminati passphrases, which are useless when they don't actually introduce you to any Illuminati members, or tell you the location of any caches.
