Addendum to men's restroom etiquette

First, everyone knows that bathroom etiquette is the basis for a healthy functioning society and that without it we're no better than caveman, as evidenced in this old but true [YT="educational video"]IzO1mCAVyMw[/YT]

So, my addendum:

Don't fucking unzip until you're at the goddamn urinal

What the hell is up with dudes unzipping as soon as they walk in the door, even before they've adequately scoped out if they have an available place to do the necessary? I swear I'm just going to turn around and piss all over the next guy who acts so inappropriately - which could quite possibly spark another DC riot.

You have been warned...

I'm glad you found that one, I've been trying to re-find it for years!

Ten fucking minutes? Forget it.

And I can't say I've ever observed anyone unzipping too early. But that might be due to the fact that I don't walk around the men's room staring a dudes' crotches.

If I unzip too early you'll hear it dragging across the floor.

If you can find the time, it's reeeaally funny. And it gets uber-violent, so I know you'll love it.

I work with alot of foreign nationals; they tend to have less than stellar ideas about modern plumbing.

OK, I watched it.



With the right animation skills, I think I could've done a better job myself.

I used to work with a guy that liked to chat when I would be in the restroom when he was there. And not the grunt, but he wanted to actually chat. I'm like dude, we are in the restroom, it's not a place to chat.

I'll add these guidelines to the list:

• If there is a row of urinals with only one of them being used, don't use an adjacent urinal.
• Try not to piss on the floor or in the sink.
• Face forward. Look at the ceiling, the wall, your junk, or the floor. No good can come from turning while whizzing.

I hate that! I'll bet the guy parks right next to you too, when there are hundreds of empty spaces.

• 
  That one isn't actually an "add" since it was spelled out in detail in the clip.
  
  

A couple of our restrooms have three urinals. Sometimes when I go in, the guy ahead of me is using the center one. I go in a stall in that case. I'm not going near a guy who wants to be close to another guy with his dick out.

We used to have a 5-holer. The etiquette in that one was interesting. You could manage three guys at a time with a space between them, but if you were the fourth to arrive, you had a moral dilemma.

I like to use the 10-holer downstairs. Fewer decisions.

• 
  I admit it, I haven't seen the clip.

^ It's actually quite amusing. It is more of a parody of men's room etiquette than a serious presentation of it.

A 10 hole urinal? How foolish. You need to have an odd number so that everyone is equidistant.

Restroom designs need to follow this formula: 2c - 1 = u, such that c is the maximum expected number of users and u is the corresponding number of urinals. So if you're expecting a maximum number of users of 5, you'd have 9 urinals.