I mean, really. It's just more trouble than it's worth. I mean sure, Jennifer Aniston is a freak in bed, but then there's that whole baggage. You have to sneak out the back in the middle of the night to avoid the paparazzi. And Grace Park. I made the mistake of giving her my number and now she won't. Stop. Calling me. She keeps trying to get me to do a three-way with Katee Sackhoff. And if that happens, they she'll find out I've already been "seeing" her on the side...
I know. It's awful, isn't it? Except that one time the paparazzi actually joined in. O-o That was awkward for everyone involved.
Jennifer Anniston?? Come on, she's sweet, but she's the woman other women shove down our throats, we all know the freak is Angelina Jolie.
The crabs, herpes, hair, parasitic worms, Tribbles, scars, and years of overuse would scare many a man.
Well, I could wear a full-pelvis condom to keep all that out. Y'know, like sewer galoshes cut off into shorts with a dickhole cut, and a condom glued in. ....yeah, I've worked this out. But what would piss me off, is I'd have to move her around, and put her in positions, and instruct her, cuz she's terrible. And I'm a goddamned virgin! I have more ideas from porno and my imagination than she has in her real repitioure! Don't lay there like a dead fish, bitch, swivel your hips, do something, christ....
Jennifer is so cute and sweet and pretty and just everything you want in a girlfriend. But history suggests that, once you get a taste of Angelina, you drop Jenn like a box of hot rocks.
