Batboy has spent the better part of Batboy's life since Batboy escaped from the Evil Scientists' Lab fighting the Evil Conspiracy and protecting humanity from all sorts of nefarious plots. Batboy likes to think that Batboy has made Batboy an invaluable member of the Resistance and has done a great deal of good. All the while, Batboy has been pursued by Evil Scientists, Government Agents, Hungry Rednecks, Smelly Hippies, Dominos Pizza Drivers, and the Flashlight. Batboy thought Batboy had seen the worst humanity had to offer, and Batboy firmly believed that, despite all these losers and dregs, Batboy was doing the right thing by protecting humanity. Batboy is rethinking this. See, this morning, for the first time in Batboy's life, Batboy ventured out of Batboy's Lair on Black Friday. Batboy has always sworn Batboy would never venture out of Batboy's Lair on Black Friday. However, Batboy's Batwife recently suffered an injury while climbing a cave wall. Batwife really really wanted a particular item that was being deeply discounted at one (and only one) major retailer. Now, Batboy normally avoids this retailer because Batboy knows it is a front for the NAAAAPOTGRWLFOMGR and Batboy does not like to associate with those types of groups. However, Batboy loves Batwife and thought that since Batboy would be in the vicinity of one of these dumps while returning from a mission, Batboy would obtain the item for Batwife. The horrors Batboy saw scarred Batboy for life. Batboy saw humans that were smellier and more foul than anything Batboy could have imagined. Batboy witnessed more rude behavior than Batboy thought was possible. Batboy saw one particularly loud fat woman turn around and fart directly at a child that walked through the line in front of her, then curse at said child. Batboy saw people nearly riot over cheaply priced electronics that were not worth even the discounted prices being charged. Batboy heard countless cries of "just grab it and we'll put it on eBay!" Batboy was part of a crowd so freakish that Batboy realized Batboy was the most normal being in the building. Batboy has seen the ugly side of humanity. Batboy is no longer certain Batboy is on the right side. Batboy is at a crossroads. Batboy is seriously thinking of offering Batboy's services to the first branch of the Evil Conspiracy that offers Batboy a chance to purge this plague from the Earth.... But first, Batboy is going to enjoy Batboy's Chick-Fil-A Chicken Sandwich, with Extra Millworms and Applesauce. Then Batboy is taking a nap.
Yes, but what heel turn is Batboy considering? I didn't think Batboy was a walmart shopper although Batboy seems to share some genetic material with the former group. Could it be that Batboy was a walmart shopper all along?
I think Batboy should watch Invasion of the Body Snatchers to remind himself what he fights against and for. The Walmart beasts are not part of the conspiracy so much as a result of it. They have been seduced and/or born to it and know no other way...
Batboy is much braver than Chiroptera who would rather lead apes through hell than shop on Black Friday. "Trampled" is such an awful word. And fate.
It occured to me just now that I'm spending most of Black Friday in a foreign country. Odin be praised for favors great and small!!
The National Association for Aggressive Advancement of All People Other Than Glamorous Rebels Who Like Flying Over Members' Green Roadsters? Yeah, they're pretty annoying. Twice this month alone they've come to our door soliciting donations before 5 AM.
I do that every year. I wasn't even aware of the horror of "Black Friday" until I heard about in on Internet. Maybe Batboy only needs to help wipe out American shoppers...
For the first time ever in my life, I stayed up until 5 this morning to get one and only one particular item from Wally World (not ashamed to admit I shop there) and entered the door with the herd and was derisively amused at the "I got mine" attitude of those who were racing down the aisles. I made a decent timeto electronics, where I was informed the item I wanted was in the former layaway area in the back, I then went there. I stood at that desk and addressed that worker 4 full minutes after the doors were opened. She informed me that they were OUT of the item i came there for. Upon being asked she said they had only been sent "less than 10" there were other items my wife wanted to check on but I informer her that I would not - during this sale - buy a fire-extinguisher if my head was on fire. I'm intelligent enough to know that they lure you into the store with this very discounted item of which they have maybe five, and then count on you to buy something else when you find them gone. Not. a. chance. All they did this morning was ensure with 100% certainty that I will never ever go to any black Friday sale at any store ever again. Don't get me wrong, I expected they would sell out the first hour, that's why i was there at opening. But FOUR FUCKING MINUTES?!!?!?!
As David Soul once so memorably sang, 'Don't give up on us, baby!' Batboy, Black Friday exists in one small corner of the multiverse. Don't condemn us all because of one aberration.
I learned long ago to bunker someplace safe on Black Friday. Today I was at work, protected by a whole Air Force base from the maddened throngs.
Black friday for me usually entails sleeping till noonish recouperating from the previous days festivities in feasting. I learned long ago that I'd rather pay the extra percentile to not have to participate in a retail version of the Keystone Cops on meth. The horror of the unwashed masses in such close proximity is something I avoid like the plague but kudos to you for your efforts for the missus.
When my sister came back from her boyfriends house, it was after 1 a.m. and there were idiots lined up outside Best Buy in 30 degree weather.
It never ceases to amaze me the length people will go to trying to stick it to someone, in this case the stores, even when they're the ones getting stuck.
Black Friday has reached the level where it's almost a bigger holiday than Thanksgiving. You see people display the kind of ecstatic religious fervor you might see at certain (but not all) concerts or sporting events.
