Batboy must inform everyone of a serious public health threat. Please avoid eating, or even being in the same room as, Chili's new Country Fried Chicken Crispers. Chili's new Country Fried Chicken Crispers are not made of Chicken. Chili's new Country Fried Chicken Crispers are made of genetically engineered eel meat and breaded with ground chimpanzee acne scabs. Additionally, Chili's new Country Fried Chicken Crispers have been tainted with a designer drug created for the purpose of rendering anyone who eats Chili's new Country Fried Chicken Crispers susceptible to subliminal messages transmitted via commercials broadcast during The O'Reilly Factor. Batboy has reason to believe that the substance can be introduced to a person's system via inhalation. Batboy has not yet determined the source of the subliminal messages or the subliminal messages' purpose. As a general rule though, Batboy prefers to be cautious about subliminal messages. Of course, Batboy is also opposed to anything made of genetically engineered eel meat and breaded with ground chimpanzee acne scabs. Batboy hopes everyone will heed Batboy's warning. If everyone avoids Chili's new Country Fried Chicken Crispers, Batboy believes this plot will be quickly squelched.
