California's Burning

Discussion in 'The Red Room' started by Tuckerfan, Aug 23, 2020.

  1. Tuckerfan

    Tuckerfan BMF

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    On such a summer's day.
  2. garamet

    garamet "The whole world is watching."

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    Earlier in the season than usual, biggest ever, and after lecturing everyone about "cleaning up the leaves," the Asshole in Chief is grudgingly squeezing out some assistance. When this series of fires started, he was vomiting on about not helping "Democrat states," but there must be some rich donors in the path of this disaster.

    Wait for him to show up in a hardhat and take all the credit when the smoke clears.
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  3. Fisherman's Worf

    Fisherman's Worf I am the Seaman, I am the Walrus, Qu-Qu-Qapla'!

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    This is just the beginning of extreme weather events due to global warming. We've had our worst fire seasons in the last few years. A lot of extreme weather patterns are around the corner for other states states well.
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  4. Tererune

    Tererune Troll princess and Magical Girl

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    It is a good thing Biden won't be giving welfare to the fossile fuel industry that is causing the global problems that seem to be making this issue worse.

    Oh wait, I was wrong. He is all for welfare to the fossile fuel people and environmental damage. Please do carry on.
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  5. garamet

    garamet "The whole world is watching."

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    FTFY. Although Your Boy Donnie's really hot for coal.
  6. 14thDoctor

    14thDoctor Oi

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    That just sounds like slavery with extra steps. :async:
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  7. Spaceturkey

    Spaceturkey i can see my house

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  8. The Original Faceman

    The Original Faceman Lasagna Artist

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    They’re convicted felons who, while serving time, volunteer for a vocational program in exchange for training, food and board, and 50-66% of their sentence cancelled.
  9. shootER

    shootER Insubordinate...and churlish Administrator

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    I want to ride with these Canuck firebombers helping out in California. :clap:

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  10. Fisherman's Worf

    Fisherman's Worf I am the Seaman, I am the Walrus, Qu-Qu-Qapla'!

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    We've lost redwood forests that were older than the Roman empire. For anyone who lives in or has visited California, you probably realize the importance we place on our state's natural wonders.
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  11. Steal Your Face

    Steal Your Face Anti-Federalist

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    Like Jerry Brown?
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  12. Fisherman's Worf

    Fisherman's Worf I am the Seaman, I am the Walrus, Qu-Qu-Qapla'!

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    You're right, he is wonderful.
  13. The Original Faceman

    The Original Faceman Lasagna Artist

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    He’s a fun guy.
  14. Fisherman's Worf

    Fisherman's Worf I am the Seaman, I am the Walrus, Qu-Qu-Qapla'!

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    You're thinking of our 1,000 year old fungi forest.
  15. Steal Your Face

    Steal Your Face Anti-Federalist

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    I was thinking he was talking about your would be governor Gary Coleman. RIP.
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  16. Fisherman's Worf

    Fisherman's Worf I am the Seaman, I am the Walrus, Qu-Qu-Qapla'!

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    Who?
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  17. Tuckerfan

    Tuckerfan BMF

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    Ages ago, I can recall reading a piece by a scientist who pointed out that the forests along the west coast co-evolved with wooly mammoths and mastodons and since those animals had gone extinct large wildfires had become more common. His idea was that we should introduce modern elephants into those forests to replace the mammoths and mastodons. This would not only increase the odds of those species surviving, but it would also help to reduce the number of fires as well as boosting tourism.
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  18. Steal Your Face

    Steal Your Face Anti-Federalist

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  19. Steal Your Face

    Steal Your Face Anti-Federalist

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  20. Chaos Descending

    Chaos Descending 14th Level Human Cleric

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    Interesting. What's the actual connection, though? Like, what was it about the Mammoths and Mastodons that inhibited forest fires and why would modern elephants fill the same role?
  21. matthunter

    matthunter Ice Bear

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    Elephants take a while to burn, so the fire is drained of energy whilst cooking them. Bonus is that you get delicious roast elephant.

    Better in many ways than mammoth as you don't need to pick burnt hair out of your teeth.

    I would question the term "scientist" in Tuckerfan's post... what discipline? I could see a geologist saying that, they know fuck all.
    Last edited: Aug 24, 2020
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  22. Torpedo Vegas

    Torpedo Vegas Fresh Meat

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    Hey, geologists rock.
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  23. matthunter

    matthunter Ice Bear

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    They're all fucking stoned, mate.
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  24. Lanzman

    Lanzman Vast, Cool and Unsympathetic Formerly Important

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    Possibly by clearing out overgrowth and ground clutter that would otherwise feed a fire. Elephants, like their extinct relatives, like to eat. And they eat a lot.
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  25. Order2Chaos

    Order2Chaos Ultimate... Immortal Administrator

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    Hmm, are you sure you're not conflating this with the idea to simulate mammoth tracks in Siberia to improve permafrost freeze? This sounds an awful lot like that. How would a mammoth fit between the trees anyway? Mastodons, I could see.
  26. matthunter

    matthunter Ice Bear

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    Olive oil.

    On that drug trip?
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  27. Tuckerfan

    Tuckerfan BMF

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    No, because I read about this in the 80s and nobody was talking about Siberian permafrost back then. Oh, and elephants tend to eat trees so I’m sure they’d be able to manage.

    5722DC76-BC50-48AD-BB34-EA84F9C6AB98.jpeg
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  28. garamet

    garamet "The whole world is watching."

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    The Official Position used to be "underbrush is a natural occurrence; clearing it actually increases the risk of wildfires." Never understood that, and now they're reversing it?

    I've been to Sequoia National Park. There was no underbrush. :shrug:
  29. Fisherman's Worf

    Fisherman's Worf I am the Seaman, I am the Walrus, Qu-Qu-Qapla'!

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    Do elephants eat the pine needles off of coniferous trees? Because we have a lot of those.
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  30. Chaos Descending

    Chaos Descending 14th Level Human Cleric

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    They'll learn to like it if they wish to survive.
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