Cleanup in Aisle Three: Aided by SI issue, Florida man pleasured self in Walmart

Discussion in 'The Red Room' started by Caedus, Sep 16, 2010.

  1. Caedus

    Caedus Fresh Meat Formerly Deceased Member

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    http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/florida/cleanup-aisle-three

    :soma:
    Caedus, Sep 16, 2010
    #1
  2. Tamar Garish

    Tamar Garish Wanna Snuggle? Deceased Member

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    :vomit:
    Tamar Garish, Sep 16, 2010
    #2
    • Agree Agree x 1
  3. Muad Dib

    Muad Dib Probably a Dual Deceased Member

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    I'd masturbate to Brooklyn Decker. :yeehaw:

    But not in WalMart. Take a shit in the aisle? Now that's a different story.
    Muad Dib, Sep 16, 2010
    #3
  4. skinofevil

    skinofevil Fresh Meat

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    :shock: There are other varieties?
    skinofevil, Sep 16, 2010
    #4
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  5. Paladin

    Paladin Overjoyed Man of Liberty

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    A nice, long stay in a state institution and a lifetime ban on working with children seem reasonable responses.
    Paladin, Sep 17, 2010
    #5
  6. Diacanu

    Diacanu Comicmike. Writer

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    Did he wash his genitals after to prevent the AIDS?

    (See what I did there? :diacanu: )
    Diacanu, Sep 17, 2010
    #6
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  7. skinofevil

    skinofevil Fresh Meat

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    And that's yer typical Wal-Mart shopper.
    skinofevil, Sep 17, 2010
    #7
  8. oldfella1962

    oldfella1962 the only real finish line

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    It could be worse. He could have been pleasuring himself to these:
    oldfella1962, Sep 17, 2010
    #8
    • Agree Agree x 2
  9. Uncle Albert

    Uncle Albert Part beard. Part machine.

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    Fool. :jayzus:

    Everybody knows you pleasure yourself in the women's lingerie section.
    Uncle Albert, Sep 17, 2010
    #9
  10. Captain J

    Captain J 16" Gunner

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    I guess this is what they mean by rollback in aisle 3. :vomit:
    Captain J, Sep 17, 2010
    #10
  11. El Chup

    El Chup Fuck Trump Deceased Member Git

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    What a wanker. :dayton:
    El Chup, Sep 17, 2010
    #11
    • Agree Agree x 1
  12. Ward

    Ward A Stepford Husband

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    Walmart: You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy. We must be cautious.
    Ward, Sep 17, 2010
    #12
    • Agree Agree x 6
  13. Captain J

    Captain J 16" Gunner

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    The DNC convention??? Congress??? :clyde:
    Captain J, Sep 17, 2010
    #13
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  14. enlisted person

    enlisted person Black Swan

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    .
    enlisted person, Sep 17, 2010
    #14
  15. enlisted person

    enlisted person Black Swan

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    Figures it was a Black ;)
    enlisted person, Sep 17, 2010
    #15
  16. dkehler

    dkehler Fresh Meat Deceased Member

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    You'd masturbate to Black & Decker. ;)
    dkehler, Sep 17, 2010
    #16
  17. The Original Faceman

    The Original Faceman Lasagna Artist

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    I don't see that battery charge sticking...

    :unsure:
    The Original Faceman, Sep 17, 2010
    #17
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  18. Muad Dib

    Muad Dib Probably a Dual Deceased Member

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    If it's good pr0n.
    Muad Dib, Sep 17, 2010
    #18
  19. enlisted person

    enlisted person Black Swan

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    Now, they should have dragged him on over to the auto parts section and really hit him with battery. That is the only way to learn him.
    enlisted person, Sep 17, 2010
    #19
  20. Caboose

    Caboose ....

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    Give it a chance to get a bit more dry and tacky.
    Caboose, Sep 18, 2010
    #20
  21. Bickendan

    Bickendan Custom Title Administrator Faceless Mook Writer

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    ^...and California's energy shortages are solved.
    Bickendan, Sep 18, 2010
    #21
  22. enlisted person

    enlisted person Black Swan

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    Will the evidence stand up in court ;)
    enlisted person, Sep 18, 2010
    #22
  23. Bickendan

    Bickendan Custom Title Administrator Faceless Mook Writer

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    If it does, he's owing child support payments!
    Bickendan, Sep 18, 2010
    #23
  24. Chuck

    Chuck Go Giants!

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    I hope this doesn't end up on peopleofwalmart.com :soma:
    Chuck, Sep 18, 2010
    #24
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  25. Forbin

    Forbin Do you feel fluffy, punk?

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    A few years ago I was at my freindly local hobby shop when this BIG heavy guy entered, and waddled toward the back aisle. The manager (my friend) and one of the counter guys exchanged a look. The manager told him "Go get the mop."

    Turns out this "special" guy came in every weekend. He'd go into the science fiction models section and sit on the floor while he sorted thru the kits looking for a model to buy. And every single time, he'd piss himself and leave a puddle.
    Forbin, Sep 19, 2010
    #25
  26. Midnight Funeral

    Midnight Funeral Cúchulainn

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    Why do they always file bullshit charges? Battery that is not. Public indecency no doubt, but battery? Someone ought to give them an actual battering, just to drive home to them what it actually means.
    Midnight Funeral, Sep 19, 2010
    #26
  27. Baba

    Baba Rep Giver

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    Freedombating as bush said is not appropriate in publci.,
    Baba, Sep 19, 2010
    #27