Hey, speaking of resumes...

Mine needs some tweaking.

Here it is.

So, whaddyathink?
Salvagable?

At the very least you have a closing.
Though what you need is a really good opening.
Try: Hi.
That will go over splendid IMO.

I'm not certain a gene scan will fly...better fill in with some text.

Well, I'll admit you're in a rough situation, jobwise, Dicky. I don't enough of the specifics--and don't have a lot of experience that would allow me to give you good advice. I also don't know what your job market is like.

Basically, you're in a situation where I'm guessing you're more comfortable with people with a nice monitor and keyboard between you rather than face to face. And you've got some technical training, but it isn't current. On the plus side, you don't need an income, so that's a place you can start from. And the concensus here is that you're a pretty good writer.

The downside of that, from my limited experience, is that it takes a tremendous work-ethic and a lot of self-confidence to make it as a writer. You've got to churn out stuff and submit it everywhere and not mind getting rejections when you're starting out. I remember an obituary of Frank Herbert that said 13 publishers rejected "Dune" before it was finally published.

But you could consider shopping "Harry Hembock" around to some magazines. Now probably not "Vanity Fair" or "Esquire" or something, but you might be able to find some niche magazine that needs content. Hell, Stephen King got his start writing for C-grade porno mags--"Playboy" wannabes that needed fiction (not "letters"--actual legitimate fiction). He was able to leverage that and move upmarket to "real" magazines and, eventually, get to where he is today. Garamet could probably help you on that more than I can.

But I digress. Where I was going earlier is that you could consider doing volunteer work. Yeah the pay is lousy, but you could find some little volunteer organizations that can't afford someone to take care of their computers and volunteer your time with them. This would be something you can put on your resume, a way to dust off your skills, and a chance to network. Because the thing about volunteer organizations? The volunteers have jobs elsewhere and like helping people. One of them could know someone they could recommend you to. And join Toastmasters. It's horrible and terrifying, but it is also great and really helps you work on interacting with others in a supportive environment.

I guess the question is whether you want to be employed by someone else. If you don't then your CV is fine.

Volpone's volunteering idea works too, if you want to pad it out. I've seen it work, but you have to put yourself out a bit to get it.

CV?

Short for Curriculum Vitae, it's just the fancy european way of saying resume.

CV = academic version of resume

Diacanu, what's your educational and work background.

High school, buncha odd jobs, coupla retail.
Meh.

OK, what do you want to do? Go back to school? Get a full time gig?

Dunno.
To be honest, don't really like anything.
Just need something that won't make me want to kill myself, so I have some money to shovel into what I really give a shit about.

No.
http://www.wordforge.net/showthread.php?t=33752&highlight=art

[Frederick Frankenstein}

Destiny!! Destiny!!
No escaping it for me!!
Destiny!! Destiny!!
No escaping it for me!!!

You're perfect management material in our company.

I hesitate to say it, but...Goodwill might be an option. They're sort of in the business of giving people a second chance and working with people who have...issues.

Shoot, D, you have the funnyness to be a cartoonist.

Just work on the drawing a bit and you could be in the papers.

If Diacanu wants to get serious and list his education and odd jobs I'm sure a few of us here would be willing to write him a decent looking resume, well tailored for what he needs to do next.

But honestly, D, the first step is on you. You have a lot of free time clearly, so why not hack something out seriously. We'll all take it seriously and give you honest feedback. If you don't believe me, look in Nick's thread.

Come on man, give it a shot. What have you to lose?

he thrives on the comedy loser image - it comes with the freedom to do pretty much what you want on the board, with the safety net of "awww, its only dickynoo! can't be harsh".

its certainly entertaining, but its also a little sad in that someone with obvious talent and ability is apparently willing to fritter it away as a virtual big fish in the virtual little pool that is WF.

Glad you brought this up, I've been meaning to ask, why does the virtual little pool get virtually warmer every time you virtually jump in?

Nope but it does get warmer every time wee pee in it!


Seriously though I agree with Ecky's assesment. Even just reading this thread it looks like the main problem with Diacanu's lack of work is that he doesn't appear to want to apply himself-but then we see that he does want something to give him the money he needs to put into what interests him. Nothing wrong with that, thats essentially what we all do.

Dicanu, i think you should take face up on his offer. No one gave nick a hard time with his C.V. thread, it would be the same for you. This isn't the red room, you are not going to get attacked.

What are you looking for? Something that will lead to a more full time career or more odd job type work. If you are only looking at odd jobs so you can continue your writing, how about working at a cinema complex? I wouldn't imagine it's hard work and anyone I've ever known to do it always says they get entry into as many films as they like. Gotta be better than McDonalds.

Also, are you actually writing anything? As people have said you obviously have plenty time on your hands. Why not write something and get advice from garamet on how to actually get it out there?

Dicky, when i'm rich and famous you can be my pool boy. I'll pay you $10 an hour...but you have to wear short spandex shorts

Yeah, that's what happens.

One of us is wearing funhouse mirror glases.

Well, my jobs are.....not current, and I'm always hearing HS diplomas are virtually worthless these days, so putting those down ain't gonna impress anyone.

And to make them impressive is to outright imbelish to the point of baldfaced lying, and at that point I might as well say I ran Willy Wonka's chocolate factory, then the Bunny Ranch, and then got promoted to Emperor Of The Universe.

Yeah, but he had experience and skills to show for himself.

I got nothing.
I was just testing the water to see exactly how hopeless it is.

Hmm...there's something....

.....not good enough yet...

Wow, you're a woman with a cast iron stomach all right.