I've been busy, so I need to catch up on the latest electoral news. I seem to recall that 2016 was the election that Dayton was going to run in. Sadly, I've misplaced my "Dayton Kitchens for President" campaign signs I made, what, like a decade ago?
He'd fit right in with the Republican field, but doesn't appear to actually be running. He would, however, come in ahead of Lindsey Graham if he did run.
He's apparently downgraded himself to state legislature for the time being. However, I suspect he's still trying to find a campaign manager who can win for him, because according to Dayton he personally doesn't need to get anyone to like him.
"You know, back in my li’l ol’ town of Riddle, the way we elect fellas to office is we try to figure which fella can best be spared from useful labor. Like, uh, you take, uh, the village halfwit? Now, now, in most places he’s gonna be put on town relief. But, now, in Riddle, why as a economy measure, we make him the dogcatcher. But now, uh, this sheriff o’yours, now o’course I don’t say nothin’ agi’n ‘im, but… if you got any mutts around you want to get rid of, why don’t you just take ’em over to his place to see if he can handle the job?"
I think that the success of Deez Nutz suggests that now is the perfect time for Dayton to run. The Republican Party is so fractured that he could sneak in and gain like, at least one whole percentage point.
Dayton fares poorly even compared to Trump, who fares poorly compared to humanity. So you're right, at least a hundred BPs.
But he still has to become head coach. Because according to Dayton, once he does he will be unstoppable. And he also has his internet hacker that can erase anything negative about him online.
Obama was a head coach. Bush. Head coach. Clinton. Bush. Reagan. Old guy. Ford. All head coaches. Nixon. Towel boy.
Ford was a coach. He was also the most athletic President we've ever had, been named MVP of the national football championship, which Michigan won twice with him as their star player. He also roomed with the only black player on their team, who was his best friend.
Kanye West says he's going to run in 2020. Could we be the generation that witnesses the West-v.-Kitchens presidential debate?
I'mma let you finish, but first I want to tell you why Beyonce would make a great Secretary of State....
He was going to be President in 2016 only after eight years of a Jeb Bush presidency. So there's his out.
Maybe Dayton could pull out his oldie but goodie and tell Kanye black people should shut up and listen when white men speak. That is an actual Dayton quote.
