Little Johnny was sitting on a park bench eating about 10 candybars. A man sitting across from him says, "Son, that's not healthy eating all those candybars!" "Sir," said little Johhny, "my great-grandfather lived to be 100-years old." "No kidding?" replied the gentleman, "did he eat alot of candybars?" "No...he just minded his own damn business!"
A drunk walks into a tavern, sits down at the bar and orders a double Jack....then another. After his third, he raises his head, and his voice and starts in, yapping to no one in particular. "Lawyers suck......they are all a bunch of assholes. I've never seen a bigger bunch of assholes. I never knew a lawyer who wasn't a flaming asshole.....". On and on he went, until another guy, sitting down at the end of the bar finally puts his drink down and says...."Excuse me, sir.....but I find your statements to be insulting, demeaning, crude and totally out of line.....and I would appreciate you stop saying this and apologize." The drunk, undeterred in the least, turns to the guy and hollers out in a threatening tone....."Oh, yeah?..........What are you, a lawyer?" "No", says the guy......"I'm an asshole."
