They have a pill lactose intolerant people can take before eating foods containing lactose which supposedly mimics the enzymes your body is lacking. For once, I'm happy my bronze age ancestors were probably all semi barbarian pastoralists in northern Scotland because it means everyone who was lactose intolerant died out leaving me with no problems with lactose intolerance.
To be fair, March Madness is dumb and college sports are awful. Also, I prefer chocolate milk to strawberry milk, yet I prefer strawberry milkshakes to chocolate milkshakes. Go figure.
The best milkshake I ever had contained coconut milk, mascarpone, and coconut rum in addition to the usual stuff.