Okay, sitting in a hotel in Portland, OR...

Or more accurately, Vancouver WA.

I've seen every mode of crappy weather known to man today, on this fine SPRING day in the pacific NW. Snow, freezing rain, rain, hail x 2, and now we're back to snow again, at least we were.

Volpone gave me the rundown on local bars and strip clubs, but with the weather the way it is and my ugly early ride on Alaska Air back home, I've decided to lay low in the hotel and drink alone, like the Thoroughgood song.

Notice I did not title this thread teh fuckin' whiskey thread, because it's not yet and may not turn into that. But for any other forgers hittin' the bottle tonite, let this be your last battlefield, or stopping point, or what the hell ever.

Right now I'm sitting at the computer in my room with a glass of johnny walker as big as my fookin' head. Why here and not at the bar, you ask? Okay, I'll tell ya:

This hotel, frankly, is too fuckin' fancy for my taste. My paper coffee cup is largely labeled as 100% compostable, and everything else in the room is environmentally 'green' as well, apparently. Every swinging dick in the bar was drinking wine as the live piano played in the background. I think I was the only dude drinking whiskey and scotch in the bar, and frankly, when a guy sits down at the bar next door smelling (almost) better than a girl, it's time for me to LEAVE. I'm beginning to have some nasty suspicions about that bar down thar.

So I'm crankin' the zeppelin and hawkin' the forge. Alone in a hotel on Friday night. Again. Love this job and this career, but damn the road can be lonely. If I was in Seattle I'd PM Wahine and try and woo her away from her fiance for the night. Or better yet, have 'em both show up.

The fuckin' first time I get a good overnite in Portland and the dumb Marine has to be in Hawaii.

Enjoy yourself, cause the wahine and I have already made up our living arrangements for our golden years.

Ain't Anc nearby?

Hey,enjoy it man. I have a sister that lives in portland. The last time I was there was way back in the mid 7'0s when I was VERY very young. Ive always beel planning to return there for a visit someday.

You went to a bar that Volpone recommended?

Dude!

On a related note, I went to a steakhouse that actormike recommended last week. Never before have the Mrs and I experienced a more Republican environment!

Don't think so. They're all up around Seattle.

No kidding.

There isn't a Blue Oyster neon sign hanging above the bar, is there?

News flash- he's not actually gay.

Besides, no bar he recommended could be more suspicious than the one in this fuckin' hotel.

So, what's for dinner? Pizza?

Johnnie Walker Black.

Yeah, right! Next you're gonna tell me that bears don't shit in the woods.

Well, going green is the thing du jour in the Portland area right about now. You should see my campus desperately trying to win over the environmentally conscious.

If it's any consolation, I'm back at my folks' house this week, and the weather is just as shit on the other side of Oregon as well.

Hippies. I hate hippies.

I like hippy chicks. They believe in free love.

But they have crabs...

Okay, I'm outta scotch. Gotta make another bar run. Back soon.

That's why you shave their woowoos. It just makes 'em cooler.

And body odor, and hairy pits.

Oh whiskey is the life of man
Always was since the world began

Whiskey-o, Johnny-o
Rise her up from down below
Whiskey, whiskey, whiskey-o
Up aloft this yard must go
John rise her up from down below

Now whiskey made me pawn me clothes
And whiskey gave me a broken nose

Whiskey-o, Johnny-o
Rise her up from down below
Whiskey, whiskey, whiskey-o
Up aloft this yard must go
John rise her up from down below

Now whiskey is the life of man
Whiskey from an old tin can

Whiskey-o, Johnny-o
Rise her up from down below
Whiskey, whiskey, whiskey-o
Up aloft this yard must go
John rise her up from down below

I thought I heard the first mate say
I treats me crew in a decent way

Whiskey-o, Johnny-o
Rise her up from down below
Whiskey, whiskey, whiskey-o
Up aloft this yard must go
John rise her up from down below

A glass of whiskey all around
And a bottle full for the shanty man

Whiskey-o, Johnny-o
Rise her up from down below
Whiskey, whiskey, whiskey-o
Up aloft this yard must go
John rise her up from down below

*Elwood puts Led Zeppelin I-IV onto WinAmp's playlist and kicks back.

I drink alone, yeah, with nobody else.
I drink alone, yeah, with nobody else.
Yeah, you know when I drink alone, I prefer to be by myself.

Now, every morning, just before breakfast,
I don't want no coffee or tea.
Just me and my good buddy Weiser.
That's all I ever need.

Cause I drink alone, yeah, with nobody else.
I drink alone, yeah, with nobody else.
Yeah, you know when I drink alone, I prefer to be by myself.

Now, the other night I lay sleeping,
And I woke from a terrible dream.
So I called up my pal, Jack Daniels,
And his partner Jimmy Beam.

And we drank alone, yeah, with nobody else.
We drank alone, yeah, with nobody else.
Yeah, you know when I drink alone, I prefer to be by myself.

Well, the other night I got invited to a party,
But I stayed home instead.
Just me and my pal Johnny Walker,
And his brothers Black and Red.

And we drank alone, yeah, with nobody else.
We drank alone, yeah, with nobody else.
Yeah, you know when I drink alone, I prefer to be by myself.

Well, my whole family done give up on me,
And it makes me feel so bad.
The only one who'll hang out with me
Is my dear old Granddad.

And we drink alone, yeah, with nobody else.
We drink alone, yeah, with nobody else.
Yeah, you know when I drink alone, I prefer to be by myself.

Told the bartender I wanted another one of those Johnnie Walker snowcones. He knew exactly what I meant. Fifteen bucks worth of fine scotch- the tumbler is full to the brim, baby. I'm hoistin' the sheets and rowing for the western shore. Yeah, I know that sounds contradictory, but it's a play on '4 sheets to the wind' and 'immigrant song', so bear with me, m'kay? :burb:

I thought about knocking out the last couple chapters of the Clone Wars tonight, but I think I'd better not try it now...

I've got the early days/latter days zeppelin mix going...

Just occured to me that if I was actually into hippie chicks, I could hit something with phasers on full tonite. Thank God I don't like 'em stinky and dirty...

Friends don't let friends get drunk without them.

That's why you entice 'em into the free love while playing Pink Floyd's The Wall. When it gets to the part where you hear the groupie on the album say, "Wanna take a bath?", you say, "Hey, yeah, you wanna?"

In the evening, When the day is done
I'm looking for a woman, but the girl don't come
So don't let her, Play you for a fool
She don't show no pity baby, she don't make no rules

[Chorus:] Oh, oh, I need your love, I need your love
Oh, I need your love, I just got to have

So don't you let her, Oh, get under your skin
It's only bad luck and trouble, From the day that you begin
I hear you crying in the darkness, Don't ask nobody's help
Ain't no pockets full of mercy baby, Cause you can only blame yourself

[Chorus]

Oh it's simple, All the pain that you go through
You can turn away from fortune, fortune, Cause that's all that's left to you
It's lonely at the bottom, Man, it's dizzy at the top
But if you're standing in the middle, Ain't no way you're gonna stop

[Chorus]

Oh whatever that your days may bring
No use hiding in a corner, Cause that won't change a thing
If you're dancing in the doldrums, One day soon, it's got to stop, it's got to stop
When you're the master of the off-chance, When you don't expect a lot

[Chorus]

Okay. I'm on the cusp, WF. I demand your help, brothers.

I'm on the cusp of drunkeness. I can either go happy or dark and brooding. Help me tip towards happy!