Questions for Textradamous....

Textradamous,

What is Uncle Albert's systolic and diastolic blood pressure?

Textradamous, a plea for my sister, will she ever find a real man who doesn't wear Hollister shirts made for 12 year olds?

Oak Lawn, nextdoor to Storm.

Yes, but not until her "boyfriend" leaves her for that guy he spends way too much time with.

Textradamous,

Answer my question please.

UA is a stair running angerbot, oil pressure would be a more accurate question.

Textradamous, at what point will reality TV be destroyed by my fearsome wrath and zombie minions?

[action=Textradamous]says not to gay up his thread by speaking of reality tv[/action]

O Textradamous,

In the fourth race at Aqueduct, should I load up on the Street Sense/Guldulac exacta box?

Textradamous

Will the drama recede for more than a week at a time on this board ever again?

Textradamous

Will our harvest start again soon and then be over quickly or drag out because of more rain.

Yes.

1)Yes, in the year of our lord, Anno Domini 2042 Wordforge will go 8 consecutive days free of all drama. That is because the last remaining Forger, Diacanu, will take a 10 day hiatus from spamming with himself by using multiple duals in order to go outside and see what changes have occured since his last trip outdoors nearly 17 years prior. In what would have normally been a short trip outside in the the vast wasteland that will be known as Vermontanapollis, he will be scanned by the roving centurian patrols that report back to the one only known as Guardian VII. The scan will reveal he has not been implanted with a Loyaltee Chip and he will be detained. Among receiving his retinal scan, DNA checks, anal probes and other more revealing "tests," he will seize an opportunity to escape by diving through an old garbage shoot which will dump him outside the dome. Then in an adventure, not unlike Logan's Run he'll manage to escape the various patrols sent after him and get back to a computer(circa 2004), where he will begin respamming the board.

2)I see showers in your future, but don't worry, that's not more rain, it's just the cameras Flow installed for watchmywife.com

Damn it, I knew something was up when he wanted to do the gardening.

[action=Lethesoda]gathers his courage.[/action]

Textradamus, in what way will the earth end?

The future I picture abruptly ends in 2051. I hear lyrics... "Don't Stop..." and then sudden blackness.

O! Textradamous the All Seeing,

The feast went well and there was much suffering among the families of the unbelievers as I put their children to the knife, lest the seed of the unbelievers could continue to foul the earth. A good time was had by all.

I have decided to go to Texas and pursue my dream of becoming a Texas Ranger. I will write screenplays on the side and engage in buggery with women as a hobby. Your wisdom is indeed powerful.

I have one final quandry and I humbly ask for your assistance. I recently bought an EAA Tanfoglio Witness. However Galco USA does not make the appropriate holster for my shoulder rig for that modern engineering marvel. My choices are to find another holster or not carry my new aquisition. Neither option is tasteful to me and I feel like I am a failure in your eyes. What should I do?

P.S. Several of the wives of the unbelievers have decided to kill themselves rather than be taken by me. It has given me a complex and I intend to take out my wrath and smite the remaining wives out of spite. Is this proper and good?

1) Why would your weapon ever need to be holstered? Holsters are only for those who intend to take a break from the killing. And do not fret, everyone is a failure in my eyes, you can only kill and kill and hope that one day you'll have killed enough to get into Valhalla.

2) Is it proper and good? I will tell you what is good in life... To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and hear the lamentations of their women.

Punch a child in the face, take her lunch money, give it to a local bully and tell him he owes you and someone will be around to collect when the time is right.

So it is written, so it shall be.

One more question, Textradamous....

Which Conan movie is the better of the two?

Textradamous prefers the late night tv show.

Blasphemy.

The Zombiemechs will devour you with Conan the Barbarian cursing you from The Domain of the King's Bar and Grille.

Textradamous - when will the next Boobie thread occur on WF? And by how many minutes will I miss all the lucious boobie pix once Mrs. Flow, Mrs. A, Meka, Tamar, Shakes, and TKO pull them from the threads?

Textradamous, I have journeyed from afar and must inquire- when will the first chess-playing dog be raised and trained?

Tex - several short but crucial questions that have driven great men crazy for countless generations:

Who let the dogs out?

Why can't this be love?

Where have all the flowers gone?

Who are you.....who who, who who....?

For whom does the bell toll?

Who sang that one song? You know, it was about a girl or something...and I think someone played guitar on it....it's about 3 minutes long...