Noah Danvers was puzzled. While he was only 2 victims away from tying the murderous record of his idol, the notorious serial killer known only as The Sandman, he couldn't bring himself to progress any further towards that goal. As he washed his hands for the 23rd time that afternoon, he thought about his predicament. His victims-- or "hobbies" as he liked to think of them--could only be dismembered using the very latest sword from the Middle Ages Decor Company. And that sword had to be equipped with only the very latest decorative hilt from their "Retribution" series. Anything less was simply unthinkable! As Noah carefully dried each hand--fingers first, working from pinkie to thumb and from left hand to right hand--he absentmindedly hummed the MADCo jingle, which he heard at 7:29 AM every morning on the local Public Access radio station. He shook his head, wondering how the company could treat such a loyal customer as himself so very badly. The trouble had started when the company has announced that, while their latest "Retribution"series hilt would be available at the beginning of next month, they had run into difficulties manufacturing the companion sword, which would be delayed an extra 30 days. While walking in a semi-circle to approach his front door, Noah continued to ponder his dilemma. He grabbed a light jacket--the early April chill was still in the air--then did his traditional counterclockwise double spin to ward off bad spirits before opening his front door. As he walked the 3 blocks to his job as a Starbucks barrista, he asked himself "Can I use the March blade with the April hilt to dismember my April hobby? Or does the March blade only go with the March hilt, forcing me to wait until the April blade becomes available?" Suddenly Noah's countenance brightened, a smile coming across his face. He knew what to do--he'd ask his friend Chuck! Chuck knew all about stuff like that! Alert passers by would have noticed a slight spring in Noah's step as he made his way to work.
