Before I go all Candyman on this, I feel I need to point out I'm not a Snyder "hater", I've enjoyed plenty of his films. Ok, that done, I'll get the hook out for Battle Beyond the Star Wars: Gamora's Story. This came from a pitch for a Star Wars movie, and as such there are beats there from that, but this is less of a homage and more of a collage - the kind you find in a serial killers house, you know, the ones with the eyes cut out that a CSI will pass whilst carting out jars of semen-pickled eyeballs for evidence - of better sci-fi movies. Everything just feels like a mostly disconnected set of scenes from other movies - think History of the World pt 1 without the jokes - loosely stitched together by Snyders motifs. There's an inevitable betrayal telegraphed early doors, which doesn't speak well of the heroes, a third act battle which only defeats your expectations down to you actively expecting direct rip offs from the likes of ESB, and the whole thing is just urgh. Rebel Moon is to difficult watching as Rebel Wilson is to difficult wanking. There's no B Movie charm you can find in other films riding the coattails of franchises, such as Transmorphers or Gremloids, no humour like those who gently mock said franchises, such as Spaceballs, and not even nudity to distract from the "plot" as if we were Shaving Ryans Privates. I genuinely found nothing positive in it, and that is rare for me, and I'll be skipping part 2 for reading the wiki entry, I can't see myself even bothering with the Directors Cut, which is meant to be a wholly different movie experience , unless the canary reviews are good enough to tempt me to enter the coal mine. It's a microwaved dog turd of movie - stinks the place out, sloppy, and you keep asking yourself why someone would do it. John Waters couldn't convince Divine to swallow this.
I am a Snyder hater but I do always try to give him the benefit of the doubt as he did make Man of Steel, which although flawed was a fantastic take on the Superman story. I couldn't make it past the first 20 minutes of Rebel Moon without turning it off. There's too much good stuff out there to waste two hours of my life on garbage. Based on the reviews I've read (critics and audiences alike) I don't appear to be alone. If it weren't for the fact the sequel is already in post-production, I bet Netflix would have pulled the plug.
I sort of watched it. As in it was playing while I was wrapping Christmas gifts. The first five minutes were a clue that it was going to be mediocre at best. The first shot showing the gas giant had two moons orbiting inside the rings of the planet. Which wouldn't be possible as the moons would be inside the Roche Limit and would be broken up to due to the gravitational forces of the gas giant.
I am not shocked because I saw 2010 and they made another saolar system out of jupiter and it's moons. Yeah, that would work. smetimes you get good science fiction, and sometimes you get a giant man eating critterball rolling out of a hamburder factory.
Thanks for the heads up. I was dubious based on the trailer alone. Quoting from Threads: "There’s not a single original thought in this movie. It’s like watching a bowl of Star Wars action figures become briefly sentient…just in time for a Space Nazi wearing a button down Oxford & skinny black tie to show up. Oh and there’s even a cantina scene and a white Lando. It’s akin to watching a bruise form."
It really was bad. I love stories - don't care who wrote or directed or ... produced. I just like stories. But, this one ... was slow, and most of the story had nothing to do with the moon. They made a whole movie of the 5 minute scene in Oceans 11 trying to decide the best people for the job. and worse, if you're looking for a cheap Star Wars knockoff, there was a book (possibly a series of books) back in the 90s. Can't remember the name, but their lightsabers actually injected pins into the character's hand so it only worked for that person.
It was like a 2+ hour trailer. Running down a checklist of plot points it hadn't earned. The only positive thing I can say is the main actress had some decent ability with the physical choreography.
